AUNTY BELLA – MS.WAHALAPosted on Thursday, October 19th, 2006 at 5:34 AM
Aunty Bella is here again.
It’s been a while since the last case; I sincerely thank everyone for all their comments and contribution so far! You may be surprised to know that you have actually made a difference in someone’s life. Read the post below for updates from past cases…HERE
Please take time out to read today’s case from Ms. Wahala…it is a very true story and she is honestly confused so please help her out!
Absolutely love your blog. I have read every Aunty B. letter and never imagined I would write to you but desperate times call for desperate measures.
A little background info is important before I describe my wahala. I am a Muslim in my very early 20s from Lagos. I am from a fairly well-known family. Dad’s a politician and my mother’s side is pretty out there. I grew up outside Lagos and went to a very proper all-girls school and have lived and schooled in the US the last 7 years. I have a very decent job,have 2 degrees and am currently working on my MBA. I have a fairly Western and very liberal view of life. Definitely not a traditional naija girl.
My parents have been married for a minute and my dad has cheated on my mum from day one so I decided pretty early that my priorities when picking a husband would emphasize respect, honour and fidelity. My Western views make me very indifferent to the standard naija, “what will people say reaction” that most naija people seem to have. Therein seems to lie my problem.
I am seriously dating a wonderful man with a very reliable source of income and an incredible business sense after kissing a few frogs.
It’s been a year and a half and he loves me more than I imagined possible and treats me with respect. He is also Yoruba but Christian and almost a decade older. He is by no means perfect but I love him that much more in spite of and becauseof his flaws. We have talked about marriage and I know he’s planning a proposal so i figured I would introduce him formally to my parents.
Na there katakata burst. He has no university degree and my parents are swearing up and down – NO. He is very polished and well travelled. He made a decision not to finish school and it’s worked out very well for him. My parents believe the differences in our educational backgrounds will create serious problems. I say we have worked through a lot of those problems and will work through whatever comes up. We expect criticism and judgment and are prepared for that. They say he will revert to the standard naija illiterate way of thinking. It doesn’t help that he is from one of those Ara-Oke Yoruba states that the rest of them dislike. I say my parents are simply worried about how it would look. Their very educated first child, a complete daddy’s girl, marrying some “Off the street illiterate trying to boost his profile by marrying a degree holder” (their words) is unacceptable. Ki ni aye ma so? What do you say?
What do you suggest?
It seems trivial but many of us are very close to our parents and will not like to destroy that relationship for a guy. But what if he is ‘the one’…
Anyway, let us know what you think…