Comments on: Should I tell my husband about our daughter’s devastating secret?

By: Angel

Angel — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:30:13 +0000

This is sad. I’m older than ur daughter but because of the protective shell i grew up in, quite ignorant and stubborn about a lot of things. I got myself into your daughters shoes, but i took action before i needed anything surgical. I told my mum, and it was a waste of energy, my dad till today has no clue and that doesn’t bug me, he’s not a part of my life, i won’t discuss it with him. I felt guilty for not treating my body the way it should be treated, but I’ve educated myself. From my point of view, be there for your daughter. When the time is right, you can discuss if she’s willing to tell her dad. Shame might not allow her, but ultimately it’s her decision. Don’t betray her trust. If you’re guilt about keeping secrets from him is to hard a cross to bear, ask him to go and talk to his daughter. Mindset or not, it’s not your place, even as her mother, to divulge something so private. God, and the support you give her will help her break through faster than anything else. As mothers, the burdens we carry are tedious, some mothers handle it better than others. Mine didn’t, but i’m learning to let go of my anger and shame, accept my mistake and move on with my life, differently. I hope your daughter will, too. Goodluck.

By: Catwalq

Catwalq — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 22:28:36 +0000

just because my reasoning differs from yours does not make it “nonsense”. I am sure you can express yours politely.
I am not God but He has given me the gift of freewill…

By: Catwalq

Catwalq — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 22:27:02 +0000

I am not God but I have the right to make choices about what my life is about. Thus, if I want to have an abortion, I will.

If my mother had aborted me, then that would have been it for this lifetime as her child. If it was important for me as Soul to be born, then one way or the other, I would have…

By the way, what do you mean by “respectable people”?
Plus, like you said, they are “unwanted pregnancies”. And what do you do with something you don’t want? You get rid of it

By: Vee

Vee — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:32:09 +0000

Chloe’s mum please do one thing fast; inform your husband immediately before he finds out himself. Together you stand a better chance of helping ur daughter overcome her problem. Above all, you need to seek God’s help. It is well with you.

By: yhurmie

yhurmie — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 08:04:17 +0000

o my, d way ppl wld go on about non-issues wen some1 is out dere waitin on every comment dat comes in…pls, ppl!

my take:
trust is d most important thing in a relationship…esp husband – wife or parent-child. U made a promise 2 ur child, as rash as it may av bn, u cannot willfully change dat widout sitting her down and u both collectively agreein dat its d way 4ward to inform ‘dad’. Issues always av a way of bein blown outta proportion wen we r rite in it, but blieve me, dis too will pass. Rmber, ur daughter is d 1 wit d trauma here, she comes 1st nd all u need do is b dere, walkin her thru it d way she can best relate to. God is ur strength.

By: aybeeceedii

aybeeceedii — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:17:32 +0000

“Our bodies are vessels for souls to come into this world and we can decide not to allow them through especially if we cannot fulfill our obligations and responsibilities towards them”

while i respect your opinion, i totally disagree.
1) just like randommer said, you’re not God. it’s not up to you to decide who comes into the world or not.
2) i’d like to ask this: what if ur parents had aborted you because they decided they couldnt “fulfill (their) obligations and responsibilities towards (you)”? would you be able to hold this opinion, or type it? i think not.

i think all babies should be given a chance at life. its just ironic the number of unwanted pregnancies out there and how there are so so many respectable people who would give anything for a child of their own.

By: randommer

randommer — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:17:52 +0000

lmao at this nonsense reasoning ‘ we can decide not to allow them…’ because you are now God shey?

By: Chi Chi

Chi Chi — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:41:32 +0000

Damn! U took the words out of my mouth!

By: smalls

smalls — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:00:14 +0000

mum i tink its better you tell dad about the situation b4 u break unda d pressure of helpin ur daughter deal wit the situation. U as well need all d strength u can get now!

By: JD

JD — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:52:32 +0000

Don’t tell dad. Whats done is done, what good could it possibly do. Mom you are taking this one to the grave. Just do your best, along with the shrink, to help your daughter recover from the trauma. Its about time she grew up. Help her to see the reality of life (get ur drink on, get ur party on, it could be worse, it could be worse…) and that should help her get over it more quickly.

Best of luck

By: Ewa

Ewa — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 05:03:31 +0000

no need to abuse one another o.
Jen, i think the point of the artcle is to offer advice to solve the family’s dilemma not about how many young girls have had abortions.
issues such as these are very depndent on the individuals nature, and the effects aren’t the same for all.
Your point tho about imforming kids (about such issues) is very important. I wonder just how many parents do that.

By: mary

mary — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:41:39 +0000

mum this is the time to inform your daughter you need to tell dad as he adores us and both of you will tell him,again this can either break or keep a marriage! yet if you dont say both mum and daughter would need a consellor soon, i feel sorry and clearly know how you both feel,best of luck in telling Dad

By: Ifeoma

Ifeoma — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:41:36 +0000

After reading your comment i doubt if you have ever seen the four walls of a classroom!

By: medi

medi — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:32:16 +0000

u should ve kept quiet instead of commenting,ur comments are baseless and uncalled for.

By: Catwalq

Catwalq — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:43:35 +0000

Before people call parenting into question, I know quite a number of children whose parents have laid down a suitable structure for their kids and they have decided that they would prefer to find out about life the hard way….

That said, what’s done is done. You have to tell your husband and your daughter needs to snap out of it. The timing was not right for any of the things that she has done and she needs to start working on her new tomorrow. Now, she has seen that some actions have serious circumstances. She needs to get past “abortion = killing” cos what if it was ectopic pregnancy? Our bodies are vessels for souls to come into this world and we can decide not to allow them through especially if we cannot fulfill our obligations and responsibilities towards them.

That said too, u guys will be fine…take it one day at a time.

By: LaLa

LaLa — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:29:14 +0000

Yes, It is pretty evident from your grammatically challenged comment that you’re probably ONLY capable of reading a few lines of the article. Sweety, your education has failed you. Ignorant fool.

By: nne

nne — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:11:53 +0000

Are you kidding with that????? pls tell me you are! Thats THE most ignorant statement i have ever heard.

By: randommer

randommer — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:54:56 +0000

that is why your comment sounds ignorant

By: jen

jen — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:37:14 +0000

Listen this article is way too long, I only read a few lines, So many women in Nigeria has had abortions, it’s nothing new that a 15yr old got pregnant! Our parents has failed us, they did not inform us about contraception, our bodies, etc.

I doubt the father would care, women please inform your children about sex,their bodies and protection.

By: TY

TY — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:40:34 +0000

Sounds like a mess that could have been avoided long before the real trouble. I feel for Chloe and her mom. But she (mom) needs to act fast! She needs to tell her husband before it gets even messier. Chloe could hate for the rest of her life if things go on this way.
I understand her position, she wants to protect her daughter but she also has to realize that telling Richard the truth isn’t bad for Chloe, it will all be for her good. No matter how angry he gets, ha can’t possibly hate his own daughter for getting preg and aborting it.

Chloe also needs to keep seeing the shrink as this will help her get over the guilt and other issues.

Parenting isn’t just about doing the sweet things for your children, sometime u have to tell them the bitter truth. It will only make them better. Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it.