The Facebook Chronicles on the Six Degrees of Separation
Posted on Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 at 4:43 AMBy Enkay
Heaven knows when I joined facebook (FB) it was primarily to reconnect with those lost folks I have managed to survive this long without. Ok that’s half the truth. The other half: to laugh at the mayhem and foolishness randomly revealed. With the benefits come the junk right?
Men and women have been cheating long before my grandpa ended up with seven wives. We have all sorts of definitions for ‘The Cheater’. Here it refers to any individual who is in a mutually exclusive relationship or marriage yet indulges in an emotional or/and physical relationship elsewhere. That is Webster’s defini…….ok just kiddingJ but that is my simple definition. There is something about being exposed via facebook that I find disturbing and of course super-hilarious. Like seriously dude, come on dudette, you have not heard about the Six degrees of Separation?
These scenarios are true stories. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the parties and to (although grudgingly) contain the embarrassment for the cheaters.
Scene One: Titi received a random friend request from Ade, accepted and entertained his ‘legit’ advances. Titi went to a family friend’s child’s first birthday. Ade was there. She spoke to him just two days earlier and so was shocked to find out they had coinciding yet undisclosed Saturday plans. She noticed his darting glances, and then saw his ring, moments later, confirmed the wife and child it (the ring) came with. He had said he was single. Ade did not say a word to Titi at the party and by the time she signed back on facebook, our Cheater One had vanished from her friend’s list.
Scene Two: Lala uploaded just one killer picture of her man Ola on FB and the walls of her seemingly-steady relationship came crashing down. One of her 500+ facebook friends (albeit a real friend) saw the picture and recognized ‘Niyi’. Apparently back home, Olaniyi recently had his introduction to his long-term girlfriend Yinka and a wedding was being planned for this year. Lala’s FB friend and Yinka’s cousin grew up together. Also, Lala’s FB friend knows Olaniyi’s brother very well. Olaniyi and Yinka supposedly had one of those sturdy relationships that we usually tag ‘made in heaven’. Did I mention that I thought our Cheater Two’s relationship with Lala was also ‘made in heaven’? Guess not. Olaniyi thought he had it going on at two different ends of the globe. FB gave him and his simultaneous relationships a screeching reality check.
Scene Three: Tawa was helping Al with ‘solutions’ to his exaggerated relationship problems with his fiancée. Gosh! I just hate it when people unjustifiably play victim over the little issues in their relationships yet have the balls to cheat….. but then I deviate. Somehow their solution-searching sessions turn into love letters exchanges on FB and eventually, sleepovers at his place. Whoever thought that was the answer to anything? Right now Al and his fiancée are well….fine? It is Tawa who thinks she just got away with murder and is unaware that her man, Timileyin, has full knowledge of her rendezvous. How? Less than six degrees of separation.
If you do not remember anything you read here, just remember this: SIX DEGREES OF SEPERATION. Thanks to the internet and as these case studies reflect, facebook, we are all interlinked more closely than we can possibly fathom. Hope you feel guilty and ridiculous when you discover that the chick you’ve been hitting on (yeah the one with the cute flower-in-her-hair profile picture!) is your girlfriend’s best friend’s cousin’s friend’s younger sister (a true story behind this one too!). This caution applies to ladies too. Behind those smile-ridden profile pictures we all put up are people, aka ‘networking gurus’ who for good and bad reasons spill our beans and dirty little secrets via that powerful medium, facebook. We cannot claim that we do not care. We do, because on facebook it’s our true identities on the line.
Don’t you just wonder who you should be starring down on your partner’s FB friends list?
real six degrees of separation o , facebook is just a kobalizer
yeeee!!! lmao!!!
You are dame right Bellanaija. Alot of these shit happens especially to the female folks. Many times I want to deactivate my account but ……….I met my Boyfriend’s girlfriends (numerous) on FB and one went as far as threatning me to stay clear him and we have come thus far.
Thanks for this piece enways
Well said!!! Facebook is the DEVIL!!!Beware…
all I can do is laugh. TRUE n sad sometimes, but it’s funny!
Lol… Facebook will be the breeze that will open the ‘yansh’ of the proverbial fowl, or fowls, as the case may be.
How??? please! The devil has nothing to do with FB its how people use it, some folks love to put all their business on it
dont u just loooove fb
Dirt will always come to the surface, lol. FB is just an accelerator!
It always amazes me the stuff dudes (and girls, too ,actually) try to pull, as if they’re invincible sha…ah well, we’ll keep it pushing, lol!!
this is funny, coz a similar situation happened to me. A girl “r” uploaded an album of her and her boo “e”, “r” and i hav a few mutual friends, just for me to find out that “e” was my boyfriend at the time. as i am not of fb I got calls from some friends giving me the gist. lol. used a friends fb account to confirm and behold it was “e”. lol. obviously “e” denied it and said “r” is obsessed with him and they had random nites but no relationship. so the qst that still bugs me is was “r” thinkin that “e” was her boyfriend or wanted him to be her man and was just really obsessed. or is “e” just a fat liar. coz nowadays u can trust anyone being a boy or girl. this is part of the reason im not on fb cos i hate any form of drama or fakeness.
Kobalizer, ha ha ha..i love this word
How bout,,in a relationship today,,engaged tomorrow,back to single then complicated………..why dont they just keep it to themselves till they get hooked for real…..
You are soooooooo right!!!
LOL i love this piece! I still don’t get why people like to sha put their business out there. I love fb! Girlfriends hacking into accounts to threaten babes thier bobo is toasting! lol
hmmm, maybe that is actually why you do need to be on facebook oh- so you can know the truth! but yeah, you need to complete the story circle… are you still with e?
I couldnt help laughing till tears ran down my face. A friend reconnected with another old friend who then wrote a risque comment on her wall………..unaware of just how public FB could be. My friend was baffled. Her friends wife was unamused. Yep, she was on FB too!Old pal claimed someone else hacked his his system and sent the risque comment. A viral ghost, we all presumed. LOL
. Seriously though,FB is the bomb!
Pls what did he write? lol!
LMAO!!! Amebo no be work!
serious talk…
some guy that seemed on my case managed to force himself on my page (i accepted for politness sake) but ignored him with the hope he’ll get over himself & he did. infact he deleted me, saw a cosy picture of him and my friend couple of days ago
LMAO..SO TRUE!! I HV MY OWN PERSONAL TORI BUT I SHALL NOT SHARE. LOL MORE LIKE 2 DEGREES SEF. 6 IS TOO LONG
So true,you definitely read my mind.FB is not 4 ppl that av got “things” 2 hide.Nice article.
Abegi… let me hear word jo, as if you dont wanna hear the gist too, eh… don’t lie oh… lmao!
why you dey vex..is it your money?
I did upload an album with like one or 2 pixs of my so called boo o and the drama was crazy….. All his girlfriends, finances, partners, etc all surfaced.
And yea enkay, can you please change the FB pix on here. I can’t believe you took a picture of the page with a camera. You can get a beta pix by going on FB, push the print screen (Print Scrn SysRq) button on your keyboard and paste it in a folder on your computer somewhere,…. PLEASE!!! I’m sorry I am not trying to be funny.
Facebook is th ish oooo but really why put up all your business on FB??random thoughts,aspirations,prayers…..bla bla is okay now…Imagine ahusband and wife quarelling on FB and changing their status to divorced today married tomorrow…na wa…Another chic warns”beware of a guy that drives a Benz convertible with no so and so in London,he’ll use you and dump you and take your money….hello???he did that to you obviously.And a hussy that tells wifey im at the office only for girlfy to post pics of hussy at tha club…Beware of the BOOK OF FACES ladies.Know where to draw the line.Millions of peeps are on there.
i don’t think i have the energy to type my own jist right now; it’s too crazy and beats ANYTHING else posted here; will type it later *sigh*
“my” guy cheated on me with 5 girls, all of whom are on his facebook page i later found out; his current “main” squeeze is also on his facebook and he has finally decided to post her pic on his wall; the funny thing is, his job makes him travel and he’s always dodging people for one reason or another and “being away at work” provides him the perfect opportunity to cheat (he once freaked out when i told him i would post new pics of him and i later found out it was b/c his current “main” squeeze thought he was at “out of the country at work”); that really should have been my queue to run but i was in love, what can i say; i showed up at his cousin’s house unannounced one day to find the girl on his wall lying in his bed (though fully clothed and his cousin was also in the room); two days before that, him and i had umm, gotten intimate in that same bed, on the very side of the bed she was laying on; she gave me a dirty look but said nothing (though i found out she eventually talked mess about me) and he was stuttering like a fool and said would be with me in a second, to please excuse him; again, shoulda been my queue to move on; long story short, we were together throughout 2008 and i got pregnant (even though i was on birth control); two days before i saw the girl on the bed, he had been rubbing my tummy, talking about plans for our child and the future (on the very bed that girl was on); i eventually got the picture about just what a jerk he is/was; i also found out (though he has no idea) that one of the girls he was messing on me with happened to be the younger sister of a guy that i had made the mistake of letting kiss me while i was with him (are u guys still getting this????); i found out about her being the sister through facebook; of course, at the time, i felt horribly guilty that i would let another man peck me while i was dating this ‘prince charming’ (it was only just a peck but still, soemthing i know was wrong to let happen); but after finding out what a jerk he was, i dmit i didn’t feel so bad about it; to add to all the facebook drama, the boy, has a baby momma dats putting him on blast on his wall and i know for a fact that he’s still cheating on his current “main” girl and i’m sooooo tempted to blow his cover LOL; b/c in typical facebook fashion, i’m connected (through actual friends) to two of the girls he’s messing with through their family members and close friends; the girl on the wall is talking so much mess and is forming “important/i won him” and really wanna burst her bubble b/c the guy’s a jerk (needless to say, i didn’t keep the pregnancy and his baby mother is giving me all kinds of reasons to rejoice about that decision); i’m in a very good place right now (amazing new man, all other aspects of life are great) but sometimes, i’m tempted to “drop hints” to one of her girlfriends so she finds out and he suffers LOL; immature, i know but i’m human and he really hurt me;
ok
the end
of course not. i dumped his ass afterwards. one mistake i’m not gonna make in life is for some guy to take me for a fool. even if he says r wasnt his girlfriend. something went down and thats enough for me to dump him.
i thought my fb drama was bad. thats some crazy story. this guy must reaally be a stunner with dough.
LOL! I have similar facebook stories too, gosh! I have just read Writefreak’s story on http://inmydreamsitwassimpler.blogspot.com/
Thanks for sharing your bit guys…….
@ Concrete: Good thing the shells are off your eyes for all you know you were one of ‘the other women’ to the 5. Cheaters are liars you can live without. Welcome to a happy drama-free phase! And you don’t need a man to get there.
I am not surprised at how rampant this mayhem and foolishness is. One thing I noticed about this new ‘BUSTED_ON_FB’ click is that in reality they are NOT the usual suspects. Take for example Cheater Three from Scene Three: I could have placed a bet with my annual salary that he was in no way the cheating type…. Soft-spoken, bookworm, romantic, ‘golden child’ (abi na goldenboy….lol!), caring, assistant pastor material…….Infact I was a strong member of his “he’s a great guy’ fan club! You bet I’m glad my hard-earned pay is safe with Chase Bank! If Tawa knew his confessor’s spills on their ‘sessions’ she would weep ceaselessly!
FB is just a communication tool, it’s how you use it that decides whether or not it’ll screw you up. It clearly gives people a fake sense of mystery so their cool, smiley profile pictures say “I’m fly right? Yes I think so too but…ehm… little did you know I had the whole country with me…..” (John Forte/Wyclef rap. lol)
Not everyone is a victim. If you CONCIOUSLY interfere with someone else’s relationship you are not a victim. Mark my emphasis on the word CONCIOUSLY (i.e. with adequate knowledge). I don’t care if they had their issues; you are clearly not the best replacement or ‘counselor’ in town because you obviously have issues of your own. Parasite. See a therapist.
To the man or woman in the middle of every scandal, you sure as hell cannot be worth it. You’ve proved this yourself.
pls people, abeg dont forget to keep posting ur experiences, so we can learn wat to be aware of. God bless BELLA for this lovely communication medium!
*misspelt ‘CONSCIOUSLY’.my bad.
ahhhh! love it! dis is jst sexy gist i must say…lol
can imagine dis becomin radio shw,series or documentary type thing bout fcbk.hehehe
but u gotta luv fcbk tho…drama at every click!
xoxo
trust me, there’s actually more but won’t go into details as it’s a small world and i’m sure some ppl reading this will be quick to figure everything out. let’s just say the boy has criminal tendencies that i also found out about!!!!!
and NO, he’s not even good looking. he’s actually very unattractive in the face and though he has a good job, he never seems to have money; but he’s the first born son of a big family and his dad has a lot of money. that said, he has a VERY bad relationship with his dad and if he were to die tomorrow, methinks his other siblings would get the bulk of the inheritance (that’s how bad their relationship is lol)
advice:
1)pay very close attention to his wall posts and what ppl have to say; hindsight taught me that there were obvious signs i missed (including wall posts of “the other girl” and her friends)
2) pics. i’ll admit that i for one, ignored pics she tagged of him and didn’t make a big deal of it b/c frankly speaking, i’m A LOT better looking than her and thought he and i had something solid; i figured well “dis chunky, unattractive chic tagging “my” man” can only be a friend”. i mean, what man in his right man would chose THAT thing over me? lol. well, he sure showed me; i guess not all boys go for looks and the nice ones;
Nice post.Some 20+ years ago right out of high school I (barely) dated this girl.I mean I cannot even brag of hanging out with her while we ‘dated’. We lost touch till she added me as a friend on Fcbk.Not that it matters who added who since at this point there was nothing fishy. Immediately we exchanged phone numbers she bluntly asked me for sex.This chic is married with 2 or 3 kids! During one of her phone calls I asked her if she would rather talk about the issues in her marriage.Her answer was: Who told you I have any issues.My husband takes care of me and we have no problem. If you dont want to do jo just say so! I asked her how she plans on having an affair with me since we were in different locations.She said it was better that way as her husband and others would be less suspicious.I cant imagine my own wife doing this and I doubt if I was her first fcbk contact.Guts!
ok I have no ideas what yall are doing on facebook
bc all i do is add people i know.
pervs
Lwkmdt!!!
Some very funny posts here…..guess everyone’s got a story to tell with FB.
OMG! Are you serious????? People don’t have the fear of God anymore o
hi
hloo