Tips For Your Wedding Night
Posted on Thursday, June 4th, 2009 at 3:08 pmBy Fade Awolesi
There’s a general myth about wedding nights; supposedly, every bride and groom have the most intimate and wonderful sex of their lives on their wedding nights. In reality a lot of couples are often too tired to have sex, while your wedding night may be a little different, it is an intimate moment and an opportuntiy to enjoy yourselves. Here are some tips that can help make your wedding night one of the best evenings of your life.
-Take things slowly.Enjoy this moment. While you may be a little too tired to have the most technically excellent sex of your lives, this is likely to be among your most romantic and intimate sexual experiences.
-Expand your idea of the “wedding night”.If you’re too tired for foreplay, that sex isn’t going to be so great. Couldn’t it be better to wait until the morning?
-Flirt with each other during the wedding It can be easy to spend the whole wedding greeting your friends and families, cutting the cake, and attending to a thousand other details. Don’t forget to stop, stare into each other’s eyes and flirt with each other. It will definitely help build the excitement for your alone time later.
-Don’t have sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the wedding.Many couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again. Others go even further by giving up sex months before the wedding so that they may be virgin-like on the wedding night.
-Wear something special.Wedding night lingerie can really help the mood. It is also an opportunity to try out the sexy lingerie you got as gifts from your friends during the bridal shower. Make sure it is a little different from what you would usually wear to excite your partner.
-Set the stage.Help yourselves get into the mood by setting the stage. Light some candles, bring some CDs or do whatever helps you get in the mood. And don’t be afraid to get away from friends and family early. While they may tease you a little, they’ll certainly understand or at least I hope so!
It’s also a good idea to accept the fact that you may be too exhausted or tipsy to have sex. If one of you falls asleep, or isn’t in the mood, remember, it’s not a prediction of a doomed marriage. Try spending the time relaxing and remembering how wonderful your wedding day was.
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sex according to the bible is made for married couples only. if u decide to comply, it shuld be because u believe it it nd don’t want to sin nt to gain anyone’s respect.if u’ve had pre marital sex, that’s ur own destiny, mine(and for those hu havn’t) is different. As a true christian, u’ll understand that divorce is also a sin. what’s the point of waiting for your wedding night if u r just going to divorce and sleep with another man. before u get married, listen to God, pray for signs that show if he’s the one, visit pastors for counselling and prayer and ask them to talk to God on your behalf. he’ll tell u if u r making the right decision or not. It happened to an aunt of mine, she nd this guy were supposed to get married, bt every pastor they went to kept telling them they were not meant for each other. it was hard but they broke up nd less than 2 yrs later, they are both happily married to their chosen spouses. the bible makes sense, sex is for marriage and marriage is for life. The thing is that deep down we know premarital sex is wrong, according to God and those who went against it try to defend their actions. Like i said, our destinies r different. virginity isn’t for women only. why would i hold on to my virginty and then eventually marry someone who has been around? why would i marry someone who maybe made up his mind to enjoy himself nw and thereafter marry a virgin? marrry someone on the same spiritual level as you. capishe?
my God Noor…. u jst summed everything up. i totally agree wit u
Nowadays I just come to Bella Naija to check out new comments on this article.
lol.
Wow.. interesting conversations up there. Anyways, here is my two cents….
Ladies, your only motivation to be a virgin not be to please your husband and be respected by him, cos if that is the case… you are closer to loosing it than you think. If you really need a good reason to remain a virgin… one good one is because God loved you so much to send his son for you.. and if the only think you can do for him is to obey his word ..pls lets strive for it as much as we can.
Also lets axcts as if all ladies wake up each day and plan on loosing thier virginity before marriage.. things happen and sex happens too.. So if you fall in a situation where it happen.. all you require is genuine repentance and then follows abstains till the right time.
I personally believe there is nothing to exciting about sex before marriage…. If you talk to alot of married couple they have sex maybe 2-3 times or even less… so ppl eventually get tired of it.. so why… ruin it all.
I believe in having sth to look forward to and that is totally up to me.. All the same it is not by might neither is it by power.. but it is all by the spirit of God. So lets all ask Him for help.. cos i’m positive we all need it
wow…i have enjoyed both reading the article and the comments..you guys are truly amazing. i love being a Nigeria!! as for the matter of a virgin or non-virgin i will keep to myself. we all know what we believe in and what we stand for, hopefully is nothing that we will regret as time goes on. i luv u guys. stay blessed
You people still dey here?
I commented on this article earlier on when I was quite heated because of the BIGOTRY that was displayed here. The agreement should be no one looks down on anyone because of their sexual choices, yes having sex before marriage or not does not guarantee happiness.
What I find very distasteful is how certain people want to tear down virgins for the choice they made – I don’t get it. There are people tearing down the so-called “promiscuous” ones – but the vehemence of the arguments against virgins is quite ..hmmn. There is an undertone of bitterness – like some people are secretly hoping that the marriage of a virgin doesn’t work out – so they can gloat and say, “So what was the point of keeping it?” Na wa oh!
I can’t believe some of these comments. These same people castigating those who decided to test run the car before buying (as someone put it) are the same ones whose husbands were/are super star players, who are still chooking around with all the chicks in town. They are the ones who will say ‘as long as he comes back to me’ abi….please let’s not be fooled. These labels and restrictions were put in place to further keep women from ‘knowing’ the same pleasures that men get from sex. Why are men the ones entitled to multiple wives and women don’t get multiple husbands. Have you asked yourselves? All these Holy books were written by men who tell us they were inspired by God or that God gave it to them. If someone came to you today with that story would you accept it. Bottom line is sex is sex to men. Whether the coochie is brand new or tried and tested for durability. It is what lies in the HEART that counts. If you have not noticed BUSTED ASHEWOS too find LOVE and husbands who adore them and are devoted to them as ‘regular’ or ‘virgin’ girls. Good marriages are not restricted to women who were virgins, no matter how much you try to think it will. So please quit with the judgement. DO WHAT FLOATS YOUR BOAT as longs as you are happy with it, can live with your decision and have no regrets.
Kpom kwem.
I have read this article and it is a shame that people who are not virgins are not hiding in shame. The end of days are truly approaching when a female like sugabelly flaunts her promiscuity and thinks that she should be applauded. That is pure BS. Sex is like a covenant and the more people you have it with the more entwined you are with them.My advice to virgins is that you should keep yourself, you get more respect from your husband and you also can get grace and blessing from God for waiting. Believe me, you need all the blessings and answered prayers you can get when you get married.For those who are not virgins, and would like to get right with God, try and abstain and ask God for forgiveness and all the blessings you will need as a wife. For the experience part, I advice virgins to read tantra and learn what to use and do to please your husband. Making love should be like worship and should be enjoyed with no guilty conscience. When you make love b4 marriage you have invited the devil into ur r/ship and he will surely revisit it when u are married. People that have different kinds of problems in marriage don’t know it is as a result of their disobedience to God in the first place. A man that can wait is a true man period…
No disrespect meant but please please please stop tell virgins and young women to save themselves for their husband!!! Your comment reeks of all the double standards present b/w men and women. In your entire rant you did not mention anything about men aside from your last token sentence about a “true man”. May I ask, why do virgins have to read tantra so they can please their husbands? Should men not do the same? Are wives not to be pleased? Both partners deserve to enjoy sex- you should not present sexual enjoyment as solely the job of the wife.
I can agree with waiting so as to please God, but waiting to please a husband who most likely has already had numerous partners??? Um, hell no!
What ever choice one makes regarding sex (virgin or not) be sure that it is for reasons you can be happy with.
“People that have different kinds of problems in marriage don’t know it is as a result of their disobedience to God in the first place.”
Right, so a woman that remains a virgin till marriage and then discovers that her husband is gay/bisexual it is because she had premarital sex abi?
Or what about the legions of Nigerian women who were virgins on their wedding night but whose husbands are happily screwing the housemaid – what did they do wrong?
Oh, and unfortunately no amount of theory can make up for practicals. Sex is not the SAT. Just because you read a few books doesn’t mean you will magically be fantastic at it immediately. I wish it worked that way but it doesn’t. Go and read the post on Solomon Sydelle’s blog right now and you will see what I mean.
May God truly bless you for this comment which was made with respect and without judgment of other’s opinion.
To Mama Advice: May God truly bless you for this comment which was made with respect and without judgment of other’s opinion.
People surely do get their panties in a bunch when the word sex comes into conversation LOL! Everybody becomes Dr. Ruth, Dr. Phil and Pastor T.D.Jakes all in one shot, abeg make una leave me o abeg! This is a free world, if you want to “try out the car” before signing the contract, that’s your perogative! If you want open your “christmas package” on “christmas day” and not one minute before, by all means go for it but PLEASE both sides should keep their judgements to themselves jare.
In my humble opinion, I think it is best to hold out IF YOU CAN because
1. the bible says so, yes believe it or not the bible says we should not engage in pre-marital sex and if the word of God says so then there must be good reason for it.
2. Sex can cloud things especially on an emotional and mental level, it is better if you can’t wait until marriage but at least until you are pretty sure that this person is someone who is planning on sticking around…you want this person to stick around a while.
3. Abstaining creates an intrigue, freshness, newness and excitement that is unbeatable during the honey moon.
4. Believe it or not, a man respects a woman who can make a stand to hold off on sex AND will wait if he truly loves his woman because he knows that she is his bride for life and so he has all of time to enjoy his woman and her bounty.
I have become Dr. Ruth, Phil and Pastor Jakes myself LOL. Do what is best for you, that’s all this culminates to be and be safe!
I like, I like very much and totally agree with you…
yh true that….wish more pipl wld undastnd al dese
“Believe it or not, a man respects a woman who can make a stand to hold off on sex AND will wait if he truly loves his woman because he knows that she is his bride for life and so he has all of time to enjoy his woman and her bounty.”
Please forgive me if I sound confused but… are you suggesting that women should remain virgins in order to win the respect of men?
Do you realise that if you made the same statement backwards and suggested it to a man he’d laugh in your face?
Right, so, according to you, we should remain virgins so that we can marry husbands who:
a. Are NOT virgins
b. Will promptly fuck someone else at the very first opportunity.
It’s all about stroking the male ego I see…
Please. Telling a woman to remain a virgin in order to win the respect of a man is the WORST advice I have EVER heard. Men will still sleep with whomever they want to irrespective of what is between your legs.
If what you say is true then why are so many very married Nigerian men whistling at young girls through the partially rolled down tinted windows of their Mercedes and Lexuses and Camrys and Bentleys and Ranges?
If what you say is true why is Abuja such a hotbed of young single girls and married Senators, Governors, Politicians, etc etc? Aren’t all these Honorable Senators and so on MARRIED? At least of all them I am sure that there is a cross-section whose wives were virgins (or at least claimed to be) on their wedding night. This fact does not seem to deter them in the least from chasing every young woman that enters their line of sight.
What is wrong with this picture?
If you want to be a virgin, good for you. Go and be a virgin if your religion requires it and I will RESPECT you. But please, don’t even give me any nonsense about wanting a man to respect you. The man whose respect you are so dying for, is he staying a virgin to win your respect? After you’re married he still chases women if he thinks he can get away with it – is that what you call respect?
Virginity does not equal Good Marriage or Faithful Husband.
I would rather have a husband that loves me and respects me and is faithful to me and supports me than a husband that puts me on a fake pedestal and treats me like I’m a China doll because I was a virgin but fucks every other woman when he thinks I’m not looking.
How many women have this story? Too. Many. Women. Too Many Nigerian Women. Too many Nigerian women are forced to look the other way while their husband whores because they believe their husband “respects” them.
They say to themselves “I was a virgin so he respects me. Somehow underneath all this he respects me. He respects me more than that other woman he’s sleeping with. That’s why I’m the one that has the ring and the house and the car.” Uh-huh. If that’s respect then you can keep it.
Wow. Really? Men just say all this crap so that we’ll do what they want without realising it.
How many men out there are staying virgins for the specific purpose of being disvirgined by some obscure woman in the future? Even the ones that tell SOME girls they are virgins will deny it vigorously in the presence of other men so let’s get real here.
With the strict exception of religion, virginity doesn’t really count just the same way with the strict exception of fucking appendicitis, the appendix in humans doesn’t really count. Anyone that thinks that respect is based on virginity needs to get their head examined. People don’t just dole out respect for hymen like you’re paying money for bread. Respect doesn’t come that easy so please.
This pretty much sums it up
These tips are okay, but the comments the article has generated are far more interesting…
I definitely agree with Tip #3 – flirting with each other throughout the day. It’s easy to be so distracted by everything else going on – cameras in your face all the damn time, family and friends vying for your attention, fretting about something going wrong, etc… that you can easily forget the other person by your side. Even though I enjoyed my wedding day, looking back now, I wish hubby and I had focused just a tad more on ourselves throughout the ceremonies.
But for the ‘virgin-like on the night’ bit, LOL, that one e get as e be.