Comments on: RE: 5 Mistakes Women Make by Ekene Agabu. Will Men Ever get Fairer Representation?

By: Sav

Sav — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:40:45 +0000

My my, king Onoja… u had my heart when I started reading your article. I agreed and sympathised with you…

All up until you started the Beyonce and Scrubs analogies… I think you interpreted their songs wrongly, as do many others. Just as some guys don’t deserve to be called scrubs (currently low earning, ambitious, & hardworking ones), there are those that are totally deserving (currently low earning, unambitious & lazy surds). Likewise with the ring situation…

I believe men and women are and can never be equals… from the onset, we are physically different… Regardless, we all deserve the same opportunities and chances in life.
Instead of concentrating our efforts on which sex is wrong or right, we need to look at each person as an individual, responsible for their actions and decisions. If someone does something wrong, it’s because of who they are as an individual, and not what sex they belong to.

…my own 2 cents.

By: Onoja

Onoja — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:08:20 +0000

I never really respond to stuff but the extent of the aggression is not only unnecessary it is offensive. Very much so. I’m very much committed to my family and will ask that U respect that. More than that, if U feel that it is politically correct to generalise abuse in the name of getting back ur self esteem and self respect then U’re a really pathetic case and need therapy. What you’re doing only goes to illustrate my point.
That I insist that I will not be part of a generalisation of people does not give U any right to say the things U have said. Its just like saying every Nigerian is a criminal or is a 419er

By: sweethix!

sweethix! — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 05:39:27 +0000

funny enough…… i love this article….. men are really better concealers of their feelings… and many times theyre hurting and we aint know!!! ive been hurt, ive hurt ppl… we shall see the end result.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:24:10 +0000

Sorry, I meant to say “marry her”.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:23:08 +0000

For the record, Beyonce didn’t wait for years for her man (Jay-Z) to may her. HE waited for her. He asked her to marry him twice before saying yes the 3rd time.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:47:46 +0000

hmmm…. this article is nice. Y’all stop the hating. thats his perspective and everyone is entitled to that. its ok to disagree too byt bashing, name calling and insulting is just wrong.
Nice one ekene, some of these songs can be misleading especially in naija where people follow the band wagon most of the time.

By: fab 5

fab 5 — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 07:50:31 +0000

There’s really no need to be insultive U know. He’s a happily married man who has a lot of love and respect for his wife and is fully committed to the success of his marriage. It will most likely be a person like U that has low self esteem that will need people like Ekene to prop U up. U even admit it

By: tatafo!

tatafo! — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:48:59 +0000

20 gbas for this article o jare. I feel king onoja. men that act in the way Ekene desrcibed are small minded and bad eggs. I don’t think it’s fair to paint all men in that light which is exactly what King said. It takes mutual respect, compromise and hardwork to make a relationship work not suspicion.

By: GamGam

GamGam — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:22:07 +0000

i seriously dont like the way this article interpretes Beyonce’s songs. You have it all wrong.

By: Honey-pot

Honey-pot — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 19:15:50 +0000

So what is this dude’s point? I don’t see any tangible point in this article that supports his opposition to what Ekene wrote. I still think Ekene is right in his article and this dude with inferiority complex is scared that guys like Ekene will give women back their self respect and self esteem which people like him have pillaged and downtrodden, and will be left with nothing (e.g. free-sex-no-commitment, layabout-life-let-the-lady-pay-mentality, etc.). Mr. Onoja please the next time you pick up word processor to bash Ekene’s article have some serious points ready to argue your point because this is empty of sense.

By: silva

silva — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:55:30 +0000

i thnk d funniest part was using d songs, seriously! he shld knw by now dat musicians dn’t sing songs dat are direct reflections of their lives, if nt some1 wn’t be singing of being happy and single and being madly in love in d same album… and at d time beyonce sang ‘single ladies’ she was engaged…if u listen 2 single ladies veri well u’ll get her mssg clearly..
yes, there r terrible women out there, bt there r more terrible men. there r more unfaithful male partners out there dan female, bcos society is more forgiving towards men, infact in our society an unfaithful husband is nt enof to cause a woman to leave her home…
i love Ekene’s article. he’s one of d few men out there who are nt afraid to point out all d rongdoins of his sex…so maybe some of u brodas feel let dwn by him, i dunno. bt i dn’t agree wit u completely…
you hv a pnt though, there’s no formula for a perfect relationshp, and no sex holds d key, ur def rite on dat one…

By: silver

silver — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:40:27 +0000

yeah me too….

By: arin

arin — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:00:27 +0000

Seriously where is the evidence of the so-called plagiarism that they should be arrested for? did you write the article? oya tell us more.
I actually googled the article and only bella naija has it online so I am guessing ‘frauds’ is just another attention seeker. It is actually in very bad taste to falsely accuse anyone

By: ladi

ladi — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:51:36 +0000

na wa! Didnt they cite the author’s name? That was the first thing I saw and Bella usually includes links.

By: FRAUDS

FRAUDS — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:25:35 +0000

First of all this site should be arrested for plagiarism.Someone had commented on that but Bella Naija team deleted that comment.You are presenting someone’s work as yours with this article-Go figure. Bella you need to realize this is a public forum and as long as you are making money off this site due to the number of traffic and hits you get, then it seizes to be about you anymore, the consumers have a say.Just the same way Unilever cannot act the way they want beacuse they own the compnay,, you have to consider stakeholders.You just go around deleteing comments that you do not like.na wa o.We naija folks are something else, can u imagine using someone else’s work like this…it’s the same way Tara Durotoye is using the noted American Make-up Artist Sam Fine’s picture as part of her brand element.I fear una!

By: diva

diva — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 10:31:17 +0000

this doesnt do nything for me. i’m sorry i disagree 100%

By: emeka

emeka — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 10:28:06 +0000

Nice one man..everything in life isn’t black and white.Like i always say,its a huge grey area.To hold a view that the success of a relationship is dependant on one party is wrong.it takes two to make it really work.Thanks for pointing these things out.

By: Kane & Abel

Kane & Abel — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:53:51 +0000

neither emeka nor king has told us anything new…or said it any better than we’ve heard before. but for stringing along such words in a composition that is read and understood by all, i say well done.

By: Omozele

Omozele — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:20:14 +0000

Thank you for giving the other side to the coin. I wont say I agree or disagree with you. As a female, I will always stand by women empowerment. Do you know sir, that there have been countless research done to show that if a woman is empowered she and her family will not suffer? It has been proven countless times that women do hold the community together. Now dont get me wrong, I love men and I support men and I feel they are important to the society however are women given an equal playing field? My answer is No, afterall, there is still a huge unbreakable glass celing in most organizations hindering the woman from succeeding and or moving forward.

You made mention of songs by Beyonce telling the woman to be Independent and responsible. I dont think there is anything wrong with a woman who does not depend on a man or her man for everything and anything. (Why do some men see this as a threat? ). I think the man should be a bit appreciative of the woman helping out with say bills for instance and doing whatever she can to keep— it could be the household or a relationship together; dont you see it that way?

With regards to the notion of a man being taught not to show his emotions, well there are many women who dont show their emotions either who have also been taught to stay in abusive relationships in which the man goes out, brings another woman into the matrimonial home and disrespects her. For how long should we sit by with folded arms and let you take the little strength we have left? for how long must we remain quite while some of you rape our women and children we see you as a support piller yet you defile us, for how long do we sit by and watch you trample on our very existence? No sir, please dont feel bad because we have decided to stand up for ourselves and try to put an end to all the ills some of your “friends” have caused. We are no threat to you, we only seek to work in peace with you.

There are many women who do use men but have you asked why these women behave this way? have you dug deep into her past to find out how she was brought up, who her father figures were (your father figure can be the society you live in as well)? Most of us are raped from as little as age 9 by the so called man of the house, be it biological or not, we build up strong walls in order to survive the harsh world, we grow up fast, learn fast and keep hurting as many men as we possibly can. Is this right? No in my opinion it isnt; have you tried to reach out to me, to help me, comfort and console me? No you havent then what are we talking about here? I dont condone irresponsibility but it will be nice if some men do take responsibilities for their actions.

Please for the sake of peace let us all get along.

By: silkywave

silkywave — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:51:17 +0000

Very well said.. I have come to realise there is no theory to a successful relationship except asking God for daily wisdom on how to deal with things and issues that come up. Going by other ppl’s rules and stories will only help if applied with wisdom.