Comments on: Hawaii or Alaska…Where are you headed?

By: Geoff

Geoff — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:35:13 +0000

What a load of rubbish! Desperate, misconceived, and pandering towards indecisive middle-aged underachievers

By: Benny

Benny — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 18:36:06 +0000

I agree wt you Cyphii and the article too. this union called marriage is a trip. when you pay for it and when you take off, there is no stopping along the way and if you try to stop, you may be hurt emotionally not only, your entire family. so it a LOOK B4 YOU LEAP!!!.

By: desiresuzy

desiresuzy — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 13:40:10 +0000

dis is brillant.

By: xyz

xyz — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:47:29 +0000

@ sherri.. wats ur point?………..beautiful write up

By: lala

lala — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:12:35 +0000

thankyou for speaking to me

By: reen

reen — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:44:31 +0000

nice piece. i think i would wait and confirm wen Hawaii flights will begin take off.who knows, while am in the waiting lounge, another equally “frustrated” Hawaiin passenger will sight his “shes d one’ (me)…(U no pple say they no it wen they see him/her) from where his seating and come chat me up and things get rolling n then i imagine askin me “now wasnt it worth d wait”? or what do u think? cos d thing is that if e no b panadol e no fit b. i wont go to any alaska cos that wasnt my destinantion in d first place pleazz. ..

By: Purpleicious babe

Purpleicious babe — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:29:07 +0000

I like this article. I pray the good Lord will take place in our hearts, as the bible says everything has a season. We should not be fazed by these marriage issues, instead we should invest in making ourselves available for God to perfect all the imperfections in our life and make us ready for d ONE. Marriage is not full of bed n roses, so dont get it twisted, it takes 2 tango.

By: kiki rantngs

kiki rantngs — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:57:27 +0000

so true marriage is not, has never been a destination its rather a journey you embark on and along the way you learn alot you make mistakes you correct them and for the records no one forces you into t you choose to be there.and for petes sake can we women stop giving excuses the truth is we all want to be married someday.nobody puts pressure on you if you do not want it.am at an age where they say ladies start getting pressured guess what no pressure here am not giving a hoot because if and when i marry it has to be for love and all the right reasons my parents only got seperated by death and i know what love and happiness means

By: Jadesola

Jadesola — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:15:29 +0000

I thought this was a brilliant article. Even though I’m in my early 20′s, many of my friends are already feeling stressed that they haven’t found “the one” yet. But at the end of the day, isn’t it worth waiting if it means you’ll find that true love? After all, when you compromise, you only cheat yourself. While I wait, I take the time to better myself and get closer to God, so that when that person comes, I am 100% complete and ready to share my love with them.

By: Cyphii

Cyphii — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:24:31 +0000

@ Sherri…I am male and would have to disagree with you. You say you are newly married so I’m guessing you are just into it. I’ve been married for a while and can really relate with the analogy. Marriage is a trip, it’s the rest of your life and you ain’t travelling alone. Think of the destination as what you want your marriage to be like and then you will be able to relate to the story.

No one is saying wait and be idle…or that you have to marry at a particular age or its all over. What’s being said is if you are going to marry, best you get it right first time. Believe me there’s nothing more horrible than being stuck in an essence sucking marriage coupled with the emotional stress of maintaining a facade of all being well.

By: Ashanti

Ashanti — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:57:27 +0000

WHOEVER YOU ARE, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU!
I WISH THE ENTIRE WORLD COULD GET A PIECE OF THIS WRITING. YOU COULD’NT HAVE PUT IT ANY BETTER.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND MARRIAGE FOR THIS HONEST TRUTH.

By: silva

silva — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:46:53 +0000

does d true fiery love exixt sef?

By: Sherri

Sherri — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:11:23 +0000

the analogy is ludicrous!
marriage is not a destination nor is it a vacation.
any avid traveller will attest to the fact that no matter how great the amenities it has or how nice a airport may be, you can’t wait to board your flight to your destination.

and the “waiting for a mate” just piques me!
that implies females putting their life on hold and waiting for the magical man to show up! in this day and age? what the heck for?
come on ladies, we need to stand up to society and refused to be fed the age old crap about the need to be married by a certain age or the need to be married period! we can define and chart the course of our own lives.

i am not anti marriage, as i am newly married.

By: zibar

zibar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:02:28 +0000

ooh lala…and to think i just had one of those “oh woe is me”conversations with a friend….God must have wanted to tap me..lightly..so on point…..and i am seconding that InshaAllahu…AMIN!

By: me

me — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:56:51 +0000

OK i dont think the artcile is saying wait and do nothing. Like she menntioned while waiting shop (plug in “casually date people”), get a massage (plug in “agree to go on dates your friends set up”), get a facial (plug in “attend singles fellowships”)

So you see, waiting for your flight to Hawaii does not mean you will sit in your chair and wait for prince charming to come and scoop you up on his provate jet.

The truth is “I can do bad on my own”. I will rather be single dealing with heartache from only my issues, than married dealing with double trouble. And when i say heartache, i am not refering to the trails of marriage, i am refering to the major issues you can encouter because you didnt wait on the Lord (abusive husband to you and your children, cheating husband,blah blah blah)

By: winneR

winneR — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:25:24 +0000

Hello Cha,
I totally agree dat it is no walk in d park playin d waitin game(actually,it can b a downright TORTURE FEST)
Nothing good comes easy+pple wil ALWAYS talk!!!
D only person who shd matter is U!!!
Dont let any1 goad u into an economy class,one way ticket 2 ALASKA!
U owe it 2 ur sef 2 look out 4 ur se,act in d best interest of U!!no mata wat any1 says.

By: winneR

winneR — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:53:45 +0000

Is this the author of that novel:The Mrs Club?
I found the book( d cover art was quite hilarious)quite interesting.
This write up is truly insightful.Bin single’s quite manageable,but on some days(esp aft a beautiful BellaNaija wedding feature),i jus feel like tearing my hair out,wonderin WHEN WIL I QUIT DIS JOINT!!!!!!!!!.
But posts like these bring me solace & hope in the tot of a blissful marriage that is sure 2 come 2 me…SOON,Insha Allah.Amin.
Tanx Ekene,we truly appreciate d pep talk.
There was a similar write up a while ago on dis forum,many tanx 2 dat writer as wel.
I’m gonna save dis & peruse wit all d others i hav,wen i have my off days.

By: Komi

Komi — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:59:43 +0000

I understand and somewhat agree with your point, however, you’re stating what society has always practiced. The message (as I comprehend it) is that we need to move on from these societal norms of a woman’s romantic future being decided by a man, and have just as much power to decide who and what we want. This piece is not about waiting for a knight in shining armor or prince charming, it’s about waiting for what you believe you truly deserve (and like she said, as long as your expectations are not based on superficial nonsense, but on solid, Godly values). Concerning the biological clock part, this is becoming less of an issue everyday, because more and more women are able and are having healthy babies in their later years thanks to healthcare.

No one ever said marriage was easy, but once again, if you’re starting out on a not so level ground, by compromising yourself just to say “i’m married” or for your family to be happy, imagine just how much more difficult that marriage will be. It may or may not always be beautiful Hawaii forever, only God knows, but we have to allow ourselves the best possible beginning that we can.

By: ngozi

ngozi — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:17:33 +0000

i couldn’t have said it any better.bravo

By: Mina

Mina — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:10:29 +0000

Love Love Love it!!!