Cougar…Naija Style!
Posted on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 8:48 AMBy Bola Aduwo
A friend asked for my help on this matter and I felt I needed to ask you guys to help out.
As a single girl living and working in Lagos, life can be tough. You finish school, got a job, say your prayers, take your vitamins and other things Mummy told you to do but somehow the good guys still managed to get snagged…by the bad girls!
…leaving you the dysfunctional, maniacs, psychos, stingy-oes, commitment-phobes … need I go on? Remember Slutty Sadie in school that you thought no guy would ever touch with a ten foot pole? Well, hello? Not only did she get married to a Jimmy Jean-Louis lookalike but he has the dough of Chris Aire to match! (No! Get out of here!) Someone once told me ‘smart girls get married not necessarily good ones!’ heh heh! I’m tempted to think its true. (hmm… Mummy didn’t tell me about that one!) Or how many nice guys do you know that are married to women whose other names are synonymous with ‘hitches’? Anyway, I digress. That is not my premise for today.
What my friend told me was this; After several attempts at kissing frogs, she has finally met one that could be a potential prince. According to her, he is cute, with eyes like liquid chocolate, a smile like sunshine and a body to die for. A little gruff but there’s nothing a little feminine grooming can’t fix. The only snag is that he is younger than her… and I mean WAY younger… like 9 years! Since my friend is fit, firm and takes good care of herself, she really doesn’t look her age… until you look a little closer! But even then she’s not bad looking at all. However she gets hit a lot by men that are younger than her and when she tells them straight up how old she is (She’s in her early 40’s) most of them don’t seem to mind. Well, this particular young guy has been persistent and if the truth be told, she is flattered and a little sweet on him too but can she take it a notch higher by actually dating him? She sees visions of herself being abused publicly, being called ‘agbaya’, cradle snatcher, desperado, old mama, cougar and other choice names reserved by different people in society for her ilk. What’s your take on this?
Seriously can you date a guy that is nine years younger than you? Tell the truth…And shame the devil!
Tags: Bola Aduwo
Age is a thing of the mind….just go wid d flow
As a matter of fact, i personally do not see anything wrong in an older lady getting married to a younger one. The most important is the love that exist between the couple and the ablility of each party to respect each other. Age, as far as i am concern remains numbers and it will be so till eternity. Who says such relationship can’t succeed? Mutual respect is the watchword here. Once that is there,the relationship will definitely work out. If i fall in love with an older person as a man, trust me, i will give her all the necessary respect i need to give and still be a husband while she’s my wife. Age should not be a barrier.
i dont see it has a problem…. i believe the younger they are the better..lol.. this is speaking from experience..old men can be dullin..lol…
there is abolutely nothing wrong in dating a younger guy. Older guys are just boring at times and always want to do things the old fashioned even at instances where it is not necessary. Many are afraid to spice up the relationship.
I cannot date a guy younger than me Period.
Yes age aint nothing but a number but y’all say it like you mean it.
The reason i can’t is for the exact same reasons why the lady feels she might not want to date the guy. Name callings and all that.
May be I could try 2-3 years younger but anything more than that is a no no for me.
It’s just how Nigeria portrays it!
I personally dont have anything against dating younger guys but 9years younger i think that’s a bit too much, let’s be realistic, That’s being a typical “sugar mummy”.Dont look at the now , always think about the future.the guy will wake up one day and realize that he needs someone younger…..so what happens to you then?
Also remember that women have the tendency of aging faster than men, it might not be obvious now but i can a sure you in the nearest furture it certainly will be.
hmmmm.. I think I agree with you. 2 or 3 ok.. but more.. no way.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. I NO FIT, I AM TIRED OF ALL THESE SEXY NAMES ATTACHED TO IT LIKE COUGAR AND HOW I GOT MY GROOVE BACK ETC…JUST BECAUSE MEN DO IT AM TALKING THE EXTREME MOVES LIKE , FATHER AND DAUGHTER E.G OKOYA AND SADE OR EVEN MORE IRRITATING THER GRANDAUGHTERS AGEMATES DON’T MEAN WE FOLLOW SUIT… IT AIN’T RIGHT GETTING EVEN DONT MAKE IT RIGHT…..I KISSED A GUY 2YRS MY JUNOR AND SOME SMALL ROMANCE(HEHE) WHILE I WAS IN SCHOOL, UNI PLS..AND ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE SHOULD BE “SKELETON IN THE CUPBOARD THINGS WE HIDE OR TELL AS OUR CHEEKY MOMENTS..BIKO ITS NOT DIGNIFYING AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! I AM FUNKY COSMOPOLITAN AND EXTREMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY MODERN WITH MY TRADITIONAL VIEWS IN PLACE…
TO THE TOYBOYS WHO WISH TO BE IN POSITIONS LIKE THIS ABEG PLSSSS FIND A 40 YEAR OLD WHO’S AS STUNNING AS EVER AND WLD GIVE HER JUNIORS A SERIOUS COMPLEX , AT LEAST MAKE WE KNOW SAY YOU NO FIT RESIST!!!!! I AM RATHER VEXED WHEN I DEY SEE SAY SHE NO TOO DEY , JOIN THE CALAMITY IN QUESTION…
PLS STOP SUGAR COATING IT WITH AGE IS JUST A NO.. LOVE IS JUST A THING, LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS ,ALL THOSE KIN KIN RUBBISH ECETERA ECETERA.MY GENERAL OPINON ON THIS IS THAT ITS JUST UNDIGNIFYINGLY DISGUSTING! PERIOD!
P.S- TO ALL THOSE WHO OLDER GUYS ARE BORING, LEARN TO BE CONTENT AND CONTAIN YOUR INSATIABLE DESIRES..UNA NO YOUNG BEFORE, IF YOU SLACKED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG NA UR CUP OF TEA BE THAT OH, MANAGE UR SPEC BIKO AND LEAVE YOUNGIES FOR THEM SPEC ABEG…THE THING DEY VEX ME.LOL
if i were leaving in America for life ..eh ehen..maybe i will give it a thought…but in that freaking judgmental country called Nigeria, i wont even try it…yeah yeah i know you have to live your life and not care what people say and all that shit…but Nigerians like to be in your business, they may even start treating you like a leper and people will pass stupid remarks till the day you die…
Well sa..Dare Alade’s wife did it sa…who knows the age difference between them?
My husband is younger than i am…kini big deal?
A simple question to the woman and her friend asking for help: when you have a son, when he grows up and decides to get married and he falls in love with a woman your age, will you endorse the relationship and ask him to marry her because “age is just but a number and love is all that matters”? Whatever your response is therein lies the conclusion of this debate. “Make you no give another person water wen you not fit drink, abi you be witch”?
I Love U 2!!!!
There are many just that the gap is not that ridiculous (aka over 10years) Dare’s wife, Soul E’s wife (now divorced), Peter P’square’s baby mama (not married, just baby mama).
When I am 40, I think I can date them even up to 12 years younger than me! As long as he is matured & has a good spirit; nothing spoil. But when I’m 32, I cannot date someone who is 23! Tufia, biko move along!
kai my typical naija people……just passing through life, no purpose, just conforming with what some weirdo patriarch/matriarch started back in the 1700′s
key to happiness: life your life truthfully to your conscience, if both of una compatible so what if he is 23,,,,,,dont forget you go age for face one day
the future and the present are two different things……I thought they said the modern naija ladies are different from the old school-of-thought-matriarchs…..sadly-NOT…..he has to be….he has to have….common my sistahs
perraps you can spearhead the change and marry someone 20 years younger(if you are a woman o)
Hi Kim! I no be woman ohh…..just a guy with hate for archaic ways and strong, I repeat and bolden, STRONG attraction towards older ladies…..i find them ultra sexy……however everything goes smooth until age thing pops up, then some of them think like….whats that weirdo profession again…..psychology….some immediately become psychologist and say stuff like you must have lacked a mother figure when you were young…..na wah ohhh (Friedrich Nietzsche was right, psychology was inspired by joblessness)……..then they might end up with that older guy…..just to fulfill societal norms and then I’ll be getting calls later on about how miserable men are, when in reality they are miserable with their present conditions…..of course i am still in touch with them because of the previous friendships…..the thing about life is you will never place feet on happiness unless truth guides your actions
I am disgusted at the postings I am reading for goodness sake what world do you guys live in..If we lived in the stoneage i would say ok..But we live in a modern world are you going to risk your hapiness because of what people would say or think about you? Please people are always going to talk until they find the next best topic to move on to.. As long as the guy wants to be with you and he has no problem with your age then you shouldn’t either.. Your happiness comes first love is ageless..Think about it girl the older guys you have dated where has that taken you to? I date a younger guy and he has made me the happiest girl in the world.
in the heart of the matter, wot makes sense is the matter of the heart.im a regular guy but sumtins aint comfortable fr mi, one f dem is marryin somone 9yrs older dan i’m….LOVE; terms & conditions applied..lol
8-9 years, isn’t a big deal to me…I have a cousin, who’s been married for 19years, to a man who’s about 9 years younger than she is…She DID not chase him, he pursued her. They have one child who’s attending university this year.Folk on here are acting as if it’s pedophilia, or molestation..Live, and let live people…seriously. I could understand if we were talking about a 20 year difference, meaning you could be his mother…
I had a fling with a guy 3yrs younger than me (not exactly like what ur referring to) and while it was mad fun, I always had the feeling that people would snicker behind their hands and call me an agbaya. But, now that we young ladies in our 20′s and 30′s are finding it harder and harder to find the so-called ‘good guys’, my advice is wherever you find someone who makes you happy, just go with it.