Comments on: Shut Me Up http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/ Inspired! Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:10:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: meme http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-84964 meme Fri, 17 Dec 2010 10:36:34 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-84964 i am a victim 2 i wish I have forum to air my experience. I have 3 kids how do i live and take care of them alone? i am a victim 2 i wish I have forum to air my experience. I have 3 kids how do i live and take care of them alone?

]]> By: Kris http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-43479 Kris Fri, 21 May 2010 17:15:29 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-43479 No excuse for domestic violence. Theres no reason good enaf to batter someone, Men, behave. All culprits must be punished. Women should stop shielding abusive husbands/boyfriends. Echo this! No excuse for domestic violence. Theres no reason good enaf to batter someone, Men, behave. All culprits must be punished. Women should stop shielding abusive husbands/boyfriends. Echo this!

]]> By: vickky http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37883 vickky Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:07:14 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37883 SHAME ON THOSE WOMEN WHO FEEL ITS THE WOMANS FAULT FOR PROVOKING THE MAN TO BEAT HER!!! And when she gets beaten to death, we just know that the Tyson of a man will remarry and the cycle continues. No matter the provocation, a man shouldnt beat up his wife. Many men have wives with sharp tongues and still dont beat them up..... And they are still nigerians, same with that jerk. Please advise that lady to run for her life cuz once its started, the beating never stops. Electrical cable!!!!!!! Imagine that!!!!! SHAME ON THOSE WOMEN WHO FEEL ITS THE WOMANS FAULT FOR PROVOKING THE MAN TO BEAT HER!!! And when she gets beaten to death, we just know that the Tyson of a man will remarry and the cycle continues. No matter the provocation, a man shouldnt beat up his wife.
Many men have wives with sharp tongues and still dont beat them up….. And they are still nigerians, same with that jerk.
Please advise that lady to run for her life cuz once its started, the beating never stops. Electrical cable!!!!!!! Imagine that!!!!!

]]> By: Nneka http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37881 Nneka Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:02:51 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37881 In as much as I totally support your vocal stand here, I worry about how your mother feels about you broadcasting HER personal story,something she (like many other women in her generation) guard, albeit shamefully. Food for thought. On the other hand, I wish many others would tap into your courage and stop taking crap from their abusive husbands and WIFES. In as much as I totally support your vocal stand here, I worry about how your mother feels about you broadcasting HER personal story,something she (like many other women in her generation) guard, albeit shamefully. Food for thought. On the other hand, I wish many others would tap into your courage and stop taking crap from their abusive husbands and WIFES.

]]> By: Mosun http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37784 Mosun Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:27:33 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37784 I never get it, ma friends mum died dat way. His dad beat her to death, and she protected him into d grave. It's appalin, d things that d society deems acceptable for d Nigerian woman. IT IS WRONG, and d earlier we accept it, d better equiped we are to deal wif it. If it happens once, it'ld happen again, and it is unacceptable. Women r not object of someones emotional or physical whim. If a man needs some form of physical exertion, pick on smone ur size, U little Coward! Women need to be able to stand up for themselves, and refuse to be treated wif anyfn less than dignity. The more reason, why we must equip ourselves. Get a job, make some money, so, u'r not totally dependent. Those kids u'r tryna keep a home for, are more sad and traumatized, than happy. They'r better off without an abusive father. Next time he raises that fist, walk out the door. I never get it, ma friends mum died dat way. His dad beat her to death, and she protected him into d grave. It’s appalin, d things that d society deems acceptable for d Nigerian woman. IT IS WRONG, and d earlier we accept it, d better equiped we are to deal wif it. If it happens once, it’ld happen again, and it is unacceptable. Women r not object of someones emotional or physical whim. If a man needs some form of physical exertion, pick on smone ur size, U little Coward! Women need to be able to stand up for themselves, and refuse to be treated wif anyfn less than dignity. The more reason, why we must equip ourselves. Get a job, make some money, so, u’r not totally dependent. Those kids u’r tryna keep a home for, are more sad and traumatized, than happy. They’r better off without an abusive father. Next time he raises that fist, walk out the door.

]]> By: Loveis not abuse http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37776 Loveis not abuse Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:12:18 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37776 I am a victim of abuse, and I just started a blog to address issues leading to abuse where we women can discuss on what type of men people should marry and effects of abuse on a woman. Pls follow my blog at http://loveisnotabuse.blogspot.com I am a victim of abuse, and I just started a blog to address issues leading to abuse where we women can discuss on what type of men people should marry and effects of abuse on a woman. Pls follow my blog at http://loveisnotabuse.blogspot.com

]]> By: Loveis not abuse http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37772 Loveis not abuse Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:52:25 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37772 I am a victim of domestic abuse, I just started a blog to help people like me and seek advice from women as well. I would like to help single women to know what sort of man to get married too bcos these abusers are sleek and cover up well in the dating time. Pls follow my blog: http://loveisnotabuse.blogspot.com I am a victim of domestic abuse, I just started a blog to help people like me and seek advice from women as well. I would like to help single women to know what sort of man to get married too bcos these abusers are sleek and cover up well in the dating time. Pls follow my blog: http://loveisnotabuse.blogspot.com

]]> By: WaleAdeniji http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37757 WaleAdeniji Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:18:23 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37757 Why do you people associate everything with naija? This writer never said anything about where the incident took place. When are we going to learn to appreciate the country we have? Pardon me if i'm wrong, but one can easily inteprete your " Lord help us in 9ja" to mean that that is all we do over there. No, it is not. And that is not to conclude that it doesn't happen either. Bashing one's kids is bad not to even talk about a wife whatever the provocation could be. However,wife beating has nothing to do with race or colour. It happens everywhere. And whereever it is happening, what is bad is bad and it is condemnable in strong terms. Why do you people associate everything with naija? This writer never said anything about where the incident took place. When are we going to learn to appreciate the country we have? Pardon me if i’m wrong, but one can easily inteprete your ” Lord help us in 9ja” to mean that that is all we do over there. No, it is not. And that is not to conclude that it doesn’t happen either. Bashing one’s kids is bad not to even talk about a wife whatever the provocation could be. However,wife beating has nothing to do with race or colour. It happens everywhere. And whereever it is happening, what is bad is bad and it is condemnable in strong terms.

]]> By: smallie http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37756 smallie Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:10:52 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37756 I'm simply appalled at the typical reaction from nigerians when such tragic events occur. There is a serious problem with the societal expectation placed on women especially when it comes to marriage. I'm pretty sure that the vow for better for worse does not include "he beats you with a cable wire" and you must still stay in the marriage - what utter nonesense! Yes they should pray but they should be even smarter and know to flee such a situation because most times it ends in tragedy (death). I’m simply appalled at the typical reaction from nigerians when such tragic events occur. There is a serious problem with the societal expectation placed on women especially when it comes to marriage. I’m pretty sure that the vow for better for worse does not include “he beats you with a cable wire” and you must still stay in the marriage – what utter nonesense! Yes they should pray but they should be even smarter and know to flee such a situation because most times it ends in tragedy (death).

]]> By: Ishy http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37724 Ishy Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:41:29 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37724 What are these women treating their daughters? That it is okay for a man to beat you and you stay with him.. This is stupid and full of ignorance. I mean I have never experience any domestic violence, but with other people stories, one should be clever enough to say No and run away from DV.. Lord help us in 9ja... Amen!!! What are these women treating their daughters? That it is okay for a man to beat you and you stay with him.. This is stupid and full of ignorance. I mean I have never experience any domestic violence, but with other people stories, one should be clever enough to say No and run away from DV.. Lord help us in 9ja… Amen!!!

]]> By: Toyin http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37723 Toyin Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:36:06 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37723 This is such a depressing story. It really bothers me that women have that "you have to stay in the marriage" mentality when domestic violence or abuse of any sort is involved. I also will never understand why I man would raise his hand or an object to his wife- someone who he's supposed to love and protect. May God keep such men away from us, our sisters and our daughters. Keep telling your story Wana. This is such a depressing story. It really bothers me that women have that “you have to stay in the marriage” mentality when domestic violence or abuse of any sort is involved. I also will never understand why I man would raise his hand or an object to his wife- someone who he’s supposed to love and protect. May God keep such men away from us, our sisters and our daughters. Keep telling your story Wana.

]]> By: Barbara Dresser http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37711 Barbara Dresser Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:05:32 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37711 I have never been abused by my husband. He is a gentleman and kind and generous. All women deserve this. A man is suppose to love and cherish his wife as Christ loves the Church. The Bible teaches self defense. The Apostles were told to take their swords when going out to evangelize. Our laws allow for self defense. Our bodies are the temple of God and we should always take care of them! This means not allowing someone to beat us up. I hope and pray all the women reading this find the courage to leave a man who is harming them in this manner. It doesn't mean you have to divorce them, just get out of their space! But God allowed Moses to allow divorce in cases of adultery and abondonment. God hates divorce but surely He does not expect a woman or children to endure beatings no matter what they may or may not have done. I have never been abused by my husband. He is a gentleman and kind and generous. All women deserve this. A man is suppose to love and cherish his wife as Christ loves the Church. The Bible teaches self defense. The Apostles were told to take their swords when going out to evangelize. Our laws allow for self defense. Our bodies are the temple of God and we should always take care of them! This means not allowing someone to beat us up. I hope and pray all the women reading this find the courage to leave a man who is harming them in this manner. It doesn’t mean you have to divorce them, just get out of their space! But God allowed Moses to allow divorce in cases of adultery and abondonment. God hates divorce but surely He does not expect a woman or children to endure beatings no matter what they may or may not have done.

]]> By: Cee! http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37698 Cee! Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:41:18 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37698 This is a very important topic, not just for the women but also for the men and for the children. There's a study that shows that most children that see/experience domestic violence grow to become abusers themselves. While it's horrible to subject women to beatings by any man, it has an indelible effect on the young children that are raised in such households. Sometimes these men are so sick, they act like maniacs that are hungry for their prey and until they leash out this violence they are restless. I used to think that divorce is a sin until I attended some divorce care classes. In actual fact it is a sin to allow any man created by God, just like you were created to turn you into a beast that is beaten even in the slightest form. Physical violence, bad as it may seem, is not the only form of domestic abuse that women are subjected to. Emotional and psychological abuses are equally destructive on the woman and child. It's a sin to stay and get killed by any other human being... SO PLEASE GET OUT OF THAT ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD. If you stay there and die, that man did not kill you; YOU COMMITTED SUICIDE and killed yourself and then those children you are using as the excuse to stay on in that relationship will be the ones to suffer and become house helps for the next woman that the man will marry even before your burial is concluded. This is a very important topic, not just for the women but also for the men and for the children. There’s a study that shows that most children that see/experience domestic violence grow to become abusers themselves. While it’s horrible to subject women to beatings by any man, it has an indelible effect on the young children that are raised in such households. Sometimes these men are so sick, they act like maniacs that are hungry for their prey and until they leash out this violence they are restless. I used to think that divorce is a sin until I attended some divorce care classes. In actual fact it is a sin to allow any man created by God, just like you were created to turn you into a beast that is beaten even in the slightest form. Physical violence, bad as it may seem, is not the only form of domestic abuse that women are subjected to. Emotional and psychological abuses are equally destructive on the woman and child. It’s a sin to stay and get killed by any other human being… SO PLEASE GET OUT OF THAT ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD. If you stay there and die, that man did not kill you; YOU COMMITTED SUICIDE and killed yourself and then those children you are using as the excuse to stay on in that relationship will be the ones to suffer and become house helps for the next woman that the man will marry even before your burial is concluded.

]]> By: miss b http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37697 miss b Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:33:22 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37697 !The worst crimes against humanity are those that happen in your own homes. You know why, because home is the place every human being should feel most safe" Genius !The worst crimes against humanity are those that happen in your own homes. You know why, because home is the place every human being should feel most safe”
Genius

]]> By: survivor:-) http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37695 survivor:-) Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:29:49 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37695 i can relate 2 dis topic cos i'v bn dere, done dat n thankfully survived,my case is diff cos it was a guy i dated,not married to(glory to God) so callin it off was not a problem. it started as shoving me,pushing,slapping,belting,free boxing trials n ultimately almost running me over..*sighs*(na who send me??,...nobody o). it took a alot of trips to d hospital to open my eyes.look if i died dis idiot wud av moved on to d next chick.....more like victim,d same goes for any other victim out dere,save urself while u can,u can actually DIE from domestic violence n guess wot? HE WILL FIND ANOTHER WIFE!! speak out,get help FAST! i can relate 2 dis topic cos i’v bn dere, done dat n thankfully survived,my case is diff cos it was a guy i dated,not married to(glory to God) so callin it off was not a problem.

it started as shoving me,pushing,slapping,belting,free boxing trials n ultimately almost running me over..*sighs*(na who send me??,…nobody o).

it took a alot of trips to d hospital to open my eyes.look if i died dis idiot wud av moved on to d next chick…..more like victim,d same goes for any other victim out dere,save urself while u can,u can actually DIE from domestic violence n guess wot? HE WILL FIND ANOTHER WIFE!!

speak out,get help FAST!

]]> By: Funmie http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37662 Funmie Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:58:40 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37662 I have a coworker that comes to work with a black eye at least once a week. She thinks she is doing a good job of covering up, but we all see it. I feel so sorry for her because she thinks she is in "love" I am doing my part, i am trying to get close to her, hoping and praying that one day, she would open up to me and that way i can get her d help that she needs without being judgemental. The women that made those ignorant comments up there are stupid and brain-washed. Religion (esp. christianity) does not mean stupidity. God is not a stupid God. I have a coworker that comes to work with a black eye at least once a week. She thinks she is doing a good job of covering up, but we all see it. I feel so sorry for her because she thinks she is in “love”
I am doing my part, i am trying to get close to her, hoping and praying that one day, she would open up to me and that way i can get her d help that she needs without being judgemental.
The women that made those ignorant comments up there are stupid and brain-washed. Religion (esp. christianity) does not mean stupidity. God is not a stupid God.

]]> By: kay... http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37661 kay... Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:25:26 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37661 its true we women r our gr8est enemies...cos i guess they just want u out of the way so there'll be more men for them...good riddance! I thank God i've never been a victim of abuse n i dont wish it on my enemy, n its totally disgusting, so yes, I refuse to accept it as normal n be rest assured my friends would 've a spare room if they ever needed one by God's grace... Women pls wake up n stop thinking prayers alone will stop a lunatic u need to get out while u have life n tell ur story...my aunt didn't get this chance, she's in her grave n her dear husband whom she spent so much time praying 4 is remarried... pls people we beta wake up... its true we women r our gr8est enemies…cos i guess they just want u out of the way so there’ll be more men for them…good riddance! I thank God i’ve never been a victim of abuse n i dont wish it on my enemy, n its totally disgusting, so yes, I refuse to accept it as normal n be rest assured my friends would ‘ve a spare room if they ever needed one by God’s grace… Women pls wake up n stop thinking prayers alone will stop a lunatic u need to get out while u have life n tell ur story…my aunt didn’t get this chance, she’s in her grave n her dear husband whom she spent so much time praying 4 is remarried… pls people we beta wake up…

]]> By: T girl http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37658 T girl Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:16:06 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37658 i can't imagine a woman will ever open her mouth to say that is becos women have sharp mouths that is why a husband will rise his hands against his wife, my mother was a victim, she was being beaten by my dad almost every day, i am in my early thirties now, i was just 1 yr plus when my mother left my dad, when she couldn't take it any more, people were telling her to stay becos of her children, I wonder if she wouldn't have been dead by now if she had stayed then. Even if u asked him till today, he wont give u a concrete reason why he was beating her. So i dont see why somebody will be saying is becos the woman did one thing or the other, that's why her husband is beating her. i can’t imagine a woman will ever open her mouth to say that is becos women have sharp mouths that is why a husband will rise his hands against his wife, my mother was a victim, she was being beaten by my dad almost every day, i am in my early thirties now, i was just 1 yr plus when my mother left my dad, when she couldn’t take it any more, people were telling her to stay becos of her children, I wonder if she wouldn’t have been dead by now if she had stayed then. Even if u asked him till today, he wont give u a concrete reason why he was beating her. So i dont see why somebody will be saying is becos the woman did one thing or the other, that’s why her husband is beating her.

]]> By: emeka http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37650 emeka Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:04:58 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37650 i am a guy but i never understand why guys beat up their girlfriends let alone their wives.it really is an unmanly thing to do irrespective of d provocations.Ladies on their part should speak out whenever they are subjected to such inhumanity cos dats d only way to stop it i am a guy but i never understand why guys beat up their girlfriends let alone their wives.it really is an unmanly thing to do irrespective of d provocations.Ladies on their part should speak out whenever they are subjected to such inhumanity cos dats d only way to stop it

]]> By: roundrobin http://www.bellanaija.com/2010/03/08/shut-me-up/comment-page-1/#comment-37648 roundrobin Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:49:11 +0000 http://www.bellanaija.com/?p=15030#comment-37648 i totally support you Wana. i have had a little experience with domestic violence. my dad beat my mum for the stupidest reasons. everything is well now and although i think i have forgiven him, i still resent him in one part of my heart. i just pray that he doesn't do it again and that i totally forgive him. about women who give excuses, all i can say is, i feel sorry for them and their children. we should not allow this anymore!! Lord help us all!! i totally support you Wana. i have had a little experience with domestic violence. my dad beat my mum for the stupidest reasons. everything is well now and although i think i have forgiven him, i still resent him in one part of my heart. i just pray that he doesn’t do it again and that i totally forgive him. about women who give excuses, all i can say is, i feel sorry for them and their children. we should not allow this anymore!! Lord help us all!!

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