FRIDAY TRACK: “…How Was Ur Night?”

Yes, we know its Thursday but here is a special ‘extra’ edition of the Friday Track.
Another brand new one will be published tomorrow on schedule
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Kilon Sparkles!

It seems like the grammar bullets are firing serious rounds at me this morning. As I walked into the office in my usual chirpy mode, someone goes to me “…Good Morning, how was your night?”

I had to continue faking the funk and pretend like that bullet didn’t just take out the entire front set of molars and premolars. I literally doubled my steps to escape into the trench that is my office before sighing heavily. I mean, how else could my night be? Errr….it consisted of sitting in traffic, eating late and sleep late.

Seriously how does one respond to that question? What could I possibly respond with, “FINE?!” Actually bin that, responding with ‘Fine’ would be a cop out so you will never get that out of me, it’s just too easy.

Perhaps,”…it was full of ghost…”

What night exactly are we referring to, the night pre-or-post sleep, OK, if it were pre-sleep then, I watched Mad Men and played Super Mario Bros on Wii.

You may not understand why this has got me puzzled but it’s the second time I’ve been asked that question in a month, and you know I am not a rude guy so I’d like to be prepared for the next time I hear it. And believe me, someone will ask me the same question possibly tomorrow morning after tonight’s intended bar-crawl.

The first time was as I checked out of an Akure hotel. After a bliss night sleep in a hotel room with blue blubs, as I handed over my room key to the receptionist (not quite a concierge), she softly goes to me “How was ur night?” I wanted to respond “It was dark,”, or perhaps “…noisy thanks to the scratchy speakers of your Faji bar”

So I started thinking perhaps it is me that have a problem with the question, in that case, let’s imagine the responses of other people & professionals.

Professional 1 – Prostitute: “How was your night?”, “Well, I borrowed a married man for the night, it was quite sloppy”

Professional 2 – Bus conductor: “How was your night?”, “I don break bottle finish…”

Professional 3 – Landlord, “How was your night?”, “Half of my duplex tenants dey sleep for free…”

Professional 4 – Female bank clerk, “How was your night?” My husband ate suya for dinner.

Between “How was your night?” and “…I’m on phone”, will I ever expand my vocabulary in this office? Sigh.

This week’s Friday Track is Beyonce’s Why don’t you love me.

Enjoy!