Ehen…So?
Posted on Friday, June 11th, 2010 at 9:00 AMBy Omada
I was on my own jeje li this Sunday, watching E! as usual (which I really need to stop, because E! adds no value to my life), & they started showing Tiger Wood’s THS and of course, the story wasn’t complete without the torrid details of his numerous affairs.
Irritated, I just hissed loudly and changed the channel, muttering under my breath, “everyday Tiger Woods, person no go hear word, is he the first man to have an affair? Nonsense”, and even after I had changed the channel I was still pissed. So I asked myself, ‘what is getting you so angry?’ and I realized that it was the African in me that was angry.
I was angry at the Americans for insulting and making Tiger the butt of jokes, while his mistresses were getting photo shoots and granting interviews. One of them said Tiger Woods seduced her and made her fall in love with him, (really? So his millions had nothing to do with it?), while the other said she was going to get tested for STDs, because she was shocked at the number of women Tiger had been with.
So as I said, it was the African in me that was angry. You see over here our men are supposedly always right, no matter what happens, oga is always right. Even when they do horrible things, If a man beats his wife, she must have caused it somehow. If a woman is raped, it’s because of her indecent dressing (yes, a female Senator said that once) & if it’s a girl-child that’s raped, it’s because of the indecent dressing of other more, mature women. And of course, the grand finale, when a man cheats, it’s not his fault at all. His wife must be a nag or be dirty or just for the plain fact that he’s a man. In many areas, we have a long way to go in Nigeria.
Most of us have heard the words, ‘‘my dear, what do you expect? Is he not a man?’’, or the most annoying, ‘‘my dear it’s not his fault o, that’s their nature’’. Really? So then God should have said to Moses when he gave him the 7th commandment, (Thou shall not commit adultery), ‘’except for the men, because of the way I created them’’. Nonsense. But I digress.
Here in Africa, it’s not a big deal for a man to cheat, in fact it’s expected, especially when the man has fame & immense wealth like Tiger. And because of the way it’s not an issue at all, our men do it without a care. After all, how many African women divorce their husbands because of adultery? Very, very few. When married Richard of BBA 2 started an affair with Tatiana in the house, what happened? His fanbase grew while hers diminished. He eventually took home the USD100, 000, while only her country voted for her. The same people that voted for him called her all kinds of unprintable names. Some of us, infact plenty of us hissed when we heard that his oyinbo wife had gone back to Canada.
That’s Africa for you. No one bats an eyelid here, infact the only thing we do is sigh and say poor woman, and God bless the girl that will have the liver to come out and said I had an affair with so and so. I guarantee say she no go marry. Of course she’ll blame a witch in her family & start kabashing. But that’s a different story. So understandably, we get irritated when these Americans over talk these things. But are the Americans wrong to blame only Tiger, while his mistresses become mini-celebs? After all, it takes two to tango. Hmm…let me think. On one side, I don’t think so. You see, over there with all their madness, they hold their men responsible for their actions. They know that Tiger had the greater responsibility to his marriage and his vows, than all those women. In fact the women didn’t & still don’t care about his wife or his vows, just what they could get from him.
On the other side, I think they are bit too hypocritical. How come no one is blaming these women, after all they knew he was married & still went after him; instead they are getting interviewed and making money in the process. But maybe that’s the African in me talking.
Still, are they not overdoing it? Maybe. Maybe not. It all depends on how you see it. So for now I rest my case, because really Tiger Woods no consign me. He isn’t the first to cheat and he won’t be the last. So whether he apologizes on TV to those it doesn’t concern, or if his wife divorces him, I really don’t care, because it doesn’t affect the fact that I am Nigerian & praying for things to get better.
So if it doesn’t concern me, why did I write about it?
Photo Credit: www.babble.com
He asked for it ooo!!
Meahwhile I tire for you sef…wetin com consign you sef for the matter?
abi ooooo!
@ fokasibe i agree wit u, bcos am very sure he knew he was married wen he was having an affair wit these women
“You see, over there with all their madness, they hold their men responsible for their actions.
They know that Tiger had the greater responsibility to his marriage and his vows, than all those women. In fact the women didn’t & still don’t care about his wife or his vows, just what they could get from him.”
Who is this hoodlum btw??? from the way you speak you sound like you truly
have no idea about “over there” as i can discern you haven’t been many places.
were these women there with him when he took the vows? maybe
you shouldn’t have turned that channel too fast because they would have
informed you that these women did not receive anything tangible or substantial
from tiger woods. I am not saying the women did not have their motives but you cannot
wear a white shirt to play in the mud and expect the stains to be invisible.
He had a greater responsibility of protecting his image than the women.
“thats the african in me thinking” mentality is the reason why we are
soooo backward! Tiger Woods deserved the slashing he got and even more.
If he gave a decent fcuk about his marriage and vows, he would have been
more sensitive. As a man with family and children, who is respected and modeled after
all over the world, he should have put more thoughts into things.
The reason this thing blew up was because of the endless list and graphic nature of his actions. If he slept with 1, 2 or 3 women here and there, people might have overlooked it but the numbers where mind blowing.
Oh, and lastly, these things are a big deal to americans,
because we actually expect people to live up to pre established expectations.
Unlike nigeria, in this country, the more you have, the more you are known, the more careful you should be.
As a person of importance, public image is everything.
lol@if it doesnt concern me y did i wrtie about it.
i also get irritated abt d whole tingy.let dem cm 2 NAIJA N C ALL DS BABA ALAYES SLEPN WT UNI GALS.HE SLEPT WT JUS 14 AND DEY R SCREAMING WHEN DERE R NAIJA MEN DT V SLEPT WT 40 DIFF GALS.i dnt support adultery n d likes buh abeg mk dem let d guy rest.
just gabbage! its ppl like u in naija that give men the liver to sleep around on their wifes, wetin be is he not a man! well my own rationale for it is, is she not a woman….if a man can cheat why cnt a woman cheat.hmmmm time has changed o! no dey do like mumu! man my ass!
I don’t get the significance of this post!
@omada, there is nuffin wrong with airing you opinions. a lot of minds have been drawn to at least a teeny weeny bit of details which they might have not set their minds on before now. Now this whole naija mindset of the man being allowed to cheat cos “its his nature” is bull crap to me. while everyone hopes for the best in relationships/marriage, I am a strong advocate for dumping men who cheat. If you let ur man cheat on you and still sleep in your bed, then am sorry to say, its either you lack confidence in yourself and neither do u know your worth. Men were not excluded from the 7th commandment about “not committing adultery” so if there are any men out there that respect the law of God, they would exude the fear of God and adhere to the laws of the scriptures. No matter how generalized you guys want to make it seem that “a guy is a guy is a guy….” (like cheating is like a gene subsisting in their body systems), I know that there are decent, responsible guys who would love, respect and honour a woman be it gf or wife. If I were Richards (BBA2) wife, I would dump him FAST because the only lousy excuse he would come up with that I can imagine is “Baby, it was just a game”. Bull shit!!!! No one messes with a womans head like that gets away with it so tomorrow, if he got into a bet with his friends for a large sum of money as the one up for grabs in BBA2, he would still come home with same gist.
As for tiger woods, I used to be a fan till his flesh led him into big time, reputation wrangling temptation. I would call what he did “RE-BRANDING”. He has a strong fan base. Without those fans, he would apparently be nothing and might not feel satisfied. He cheated, his fans were upset, he was ashamed, and I commend whoever adviced him to apologise publicly because u know what that apology did, it quelled the anger and hatred his fans had and made them perceive him from a different side. I once heard someone say “Awwww…he has a heart”. U see the strategy and if his wife was someone like me that would be bent on teaching him a lesson and stayed firm to her decision of staying apart, the audience would be like “whats wrong with her sef, how many men would do that. Is he not sorry enough??????? Women sef!!!!!” so he won his fans back and left his wife with no other option than to take him back.
Nonetheless, I love the fact that am a woman and I believe that every good woman needs to be treated accordingly with love and respect. Men in my world are not allowed to cheat or u pack your bags. Life is too short to be managing a cheating man. If u are a good woman, believe that u would get reciprocal loyalty from your man cos u deserve it. Am out!!!
So much venom in these posts, she’s entitled to her opinion as we all are.
obviously whoever is writing this article wrote it with tongue in cheek and for the shock walue!!!Okay dont worry Omada, this article will be controversial like you wanted it to be- ok?
TW will be off the news when the next married celebrity cheats on his wife. Hmm…I thot Sandra Bullock’s husband also cheated, we didnt hear that news on TV everyday like TW’s. I guess celebrity ya to si celebrity then…But a stigma in HW is a stigma for life I guess.
And when it comes to 9ja…well honestly, if we think about it…the same can neva happen…cos imagine what wld happen to any station that air the news on government leaders or high top celebrities that has 50 gfs…need I say more??
lol @ d last sentence…I wonder why we responding to ur article if it doesnt concern us…lol
BellaNaija…you rock!!
err I think Bella needs to employ new writers, such as me,
cause this article
is neither here nor there……
Hahaha.. … Like you said it takes 2 to tango….. He shouldn’t have gone for the women knowing he was married but the girls also had a choice to refuse his advances because they all knew he was married. Africans pick on women, North Americans pick on men, in reality, both people should be held responsible for their actions but either way, who ever we as society choose to blame or pick on, they’ll face the consequences of their actions( publicly or privately)…. now why do we write about it, cause it’s annoying but entertaining
what i sense reading this article is the author trying to nail racism as the reason for Tiger Wood’s critical judgement by the media. i did not see it as him/her applauding Woods for his actions. what i saw in the author was an angry “black” man who felt that the American media went all out on Woods only because he is a black man.
after all if the author did support adultery, what then would be the essence of this statement “…or the most annoying, ‘‘my dear it’s not his fault o, that’s their nature’’. Really? So then God should have said to Moses when he gave him the 7th commandment, (Thou shall not commit adultery), ‘’except for the men, because of the way I created them’’. Nonsense. But I digress” (p.graph 5).
my suggestion is that y’all should read and grasp adeptly the message a writer is trying to convey before throwing stones at ‘em. and to you writer, have someone proofread your work before u publish it instead of putting out contradictory articles. thank you
@eazzie e… this ur epistle na wah…rotflmao. At the risk of sounding lewd,
it takes two to tango. Let’s chase the fox first and then blame the hen. As a man
tiger messed up big time, however it does not change the fact that some women
lowered demselves to allow a married man in between thier legs.
If married men are shunned, trust me they’ll put up with what they have or worse
case scenario use vasline.
The difference between tiger’s infidelity and other men eg sandra bullocks husbdand, is tiger did not have 1,2,3,5,10 or 20 affairs, he had over 50, too many to count which also included a daughter of there neighbour and porn stars. Where on earth does one begin to forgive a man like that?
I think you are contradicting yourself. firstly, you stated that people make excuses for men, etc. Then you go on to state the following:
‘How come no one is blaming these women, after all they knew he was married & still went after him; instead they are getting interviewed and making money in the process. But maybe that’s the African in me talking.’
this just seems off in the argument seeing as you had previously had a rant about it always being a woman’s fault in Africa.
In addition, errr i don’t get the whole ‘the African in you was vexed’. you didn’t explain the link between you being vexed and you being African. I really didn’t get that at all.
Thank you.
Is the wife right for demanding a 500 million dollar settlement and full custody of their kids??
Ummmm, this article is very much confusing, I have no idea what your argument is supposed to be??
On one hand, the author acknowledges the present African mentality with cheating and such, and how that mentality is wrong…then the article moves on to condone it (or not?? I’m not sure!!!). And then, the author claims it doesn’t concern her, then why write the article??!! you writing on a topic that you keep claiming doesn’t concern you, I mean for real, that part was very unnecessary.
But anyway, Tiger did get a lot of bad press, as he should because he’s the one that is married and committed adultry with numerous amount of women. However, unlike you said, the women are getting bad press as well, the only difference is that these women welcome and thrive on the bad press because they have no shame, afterall they were sleeping with a married man. Nobody, even the media, are defending the actions of the women; but it was Tiger who broke his marriage vows, and ruined his reputation as the good, clean, wholesome family man. In the American media, all cheating personel gets bad press and are denounced, unlike Nigeria, where all ad actions of men are always blamed on the women.
All in all, I like that Bella Naija offers a variety of columnist and writers, but some need to be screened more thoroughly abeg.
i think the article is fine!!PLEASE BELLA DID NOT ASK FOR A CRITIC OF THE ARTICLE!!People stop being soooo up tight!! everyone s entitled to an opinion…if u r not feeling the article skip to the next instead of boring us with ur long comments criticizing it!!!!!!!!!
Abi o! Nothing wrong with d article to me… People just unnecessarily overreacting!
appreciate there are different ways to write an article .. you need to read carefully and critically before you accuse the writer of all sorts of slights. S/he is leaving you to form your own opinions. In case you dont get the gist I think what the article is saying is in cases of adultery who do you as an individual blame and why. Many Africans tend to blame the woman and excuse the men while the reverse seems to be the case in western countries. i dont think her article suggests that any of these two positions are wrong she is merely questioning them both…
Wow! So much venom over a tongue-in-cheek article! Seriously?
I don’t think Omada was writing an essay/opinion for an exam. It was an amusing article wit a subtle but serious underlying message which I personally grasped. And we’re not talking racism just yet, so calm down conspiracy theorists. I am just as irritable wit the various interviews being granted by the partners who’re trying to come of as innocent, seduced women, etc. Just to note, sleeping with celebrities is not all about material gains, some do it just for the thrill of a conquest – like a proud hunter showing off the animals he’s killed. Tiger may not have given them dough but they were quite happy being with the Number 1 man in sports. And there’s always the future options of interviews and all which pay plenty of dough (Monica Llewinsky made a lot following the affair with Bill Clinton) which I guess Tiger didn’t factor in when he was letting little tiger do the thinking :-p
Summary: I loved the article, it amused me and made me think too. Leave Omada alone!
i love d article……….honestly i dont know d kind of blood that is running in men generally……….yesterday it was published in d papers that A MAN IMPREGNATED HIS OWN ED HIS 12YRS OLD DAUGHTER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,OMG,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I agree with you Ayo on this issue why so much venom. The writer is just giving her on opinion on the matter. Its a lesson we should all learn from its sad that woods is portrayed as the only guilty one, what about the women? They have a part to play in the scandal. Nonetheless, i believe as individuals we should be accountable for our actions.
LMFAO @ the comments. Kai. U pipl never fail to amaze me. The writer had a very distinct stand if u read between the lines. Basically, she felt everybody involved in the “cheating process” should pay a price. She was angry with the americans for “celebrating” the women that slept with Mr Woods while treating him like dirt and she is angry with us africans because we tend to turn a blind eye to adultery as a whole. Granted not everyone ignores adultery but the percentage of those who don’t is almost insignificant compared to the percentage of those who do. People pls b4 u go around calling someone names, please make sure you do understand what the person is saying. Frankly, everyone involved in the process should pay in one way or the other. LOL @ the last line. Lovely post.
“Here in Africa, it’s not a big deal for a man to cheat, in fact it’s expected….” – I stopped here – couldnt read another word. Here in Africa, IT IS a big deal for a man to cheat………..I dont know which part of Africa you grew up in but because this is a male dominated society ot does not mean for one second that we are stupid people – we all think it is wrong!
Please get that straight……….it is expected – how can you say that? Our mothers kept quiet because they had nowhere to run to but things have changed and people have started speaking out about things they did not agree with but kept quiet about all the same.
And yes the mistresses can say whatever they want to – they were/are not married and did not commit themselves to anybody………….Tiger is without doubt one of the biggest fools i have ever heard of………..but we should have all guessed that if someone is so controlled outside and in his chose field then something somewhere must be wrong – in fact IT IS expected!!!
Ladies BEWARE – they are never ever too good to be true!
ah ah, what venom?!
what article are you guys reading? because from what i read, this author seems to be very confused on the point s/he are trying to make. For those who loved and understood the article, please explain it to those of us who don’t understand it.
I understood most of the article, but it threw me off with a phrase like “it vexed the african in me”. So i’m like, do you want the american media to blame the wife like africans usually do…would that make the african in the author less angry? or does the author want the american media to put more blame on the mistresses?
Let’s remember a couple of things, Tiger Woods is a huge athletic star, whose image and fortune based on the notion that he’s a good guy, therefore his infidelities were big and surprising news. The American media, especially the ones that concentrate on celebrities, is a capital-motivated business, so they will do anything to get more juicy details. The biggest culprit should always be the person who breaks their marriage vows, fullstop!!!
i am an blk american, mixed and i think it’s the same here, but they gave him a hard way to go , he was wrong, but part of the reason they mad a big deal about tiger is because he is blk in a white mans sport, im sure other golfers have committed adultery, you just don’t here about it. lest hope they don’t. But this is all over the news because he is blk and also because he’s wife is white. If she was blk, you would not here of it, it would be a domestic issue and people who ask them to be private. If denzel cheated on his wife, no one would write about it, because his wife is blk and they don’t care about us, as much in america.
First things first, this is a man’s world. Men, like I’ve always said are naturally polygamous. It’s up to the individual male to decide to stay truthful to their relationship. Tiger did what he had to do and he’ll have to live with the consequences. In Africa, a cheating man will always be part of any relationship. We can scream all day about a woman right but the fact still remains that men will always want the fill of more than 1 woman.
@ gbekun.. thank u o!!! very well said….most people come here with a pre-determined mindset.. abeg, read, think, re-read, digest, re-think and then post a comment
too much venom against the writer ,what for?aren’t people entitled to their opinion again?i hate people that claim to be too serious.loosen up for once,nonsense!
Who cares? Who cares?? I knw i dn’t.
talking about scared of relationship, i just started this blog on a Nigerian girl that is scared of relationship, i just though you guys should check it out, http://likemetoyou.blogspot.com
Na wah ohhhh
Men stop cheating
Women stop cheating
People pls stop hating
Oga o
everyone is entitled to their own opinion…
but i suggest you read and understand properly before you comment…
to all of you so angry, take am easy, life na jeje…
@ Gbekun racism was never on my mind, please!
@ Gbekun, sorry about the exclamation mark…bt like i aid racism wasn’t involved.
WOW! Some folks on here really need to chill! This is not that serious!
haba Omada, there is no need for you to reply people jare.Its all opinion abi?Once you put an article out there you should expect all sorts of feedback jare
mehn! Bukky, i had to, some folks are just plain rude…
calling me a hoodlum? but i’ve learnt sha, next time, no replies…
lol…
@ omada – sorry jare, u know people can be very thick wen reading stuff. Like Madonna said, u only see what ur eyes want to see. They r taking out their present grouses on you! lol! i loved the article anyway. you were echoing my thots! I do not condone cheating, neither am I ignorant of teh fact that our mothers wld rather we sweep it under the carpet than talk about it. But things ARE changing sha!
PS: I dont think erin deserves a penny of his money! #Isithermoney???? lol!
I don’t advocate cheating in a relationship or marriage and when all this came out in the open I often wondered what would push a man to all these affairs and then I watched a tv programme titled tiger woods from grace to grass I think that shed a bit of light on what initially was hidden from the public. I m not making an excuse for him but only saying there was reason for it and it lies in his chidhood and the people he had around him as role models including his father. The moral of the story is let’s be mindful of the kind of examples we set for our kids cos when think they are not watching every move u we make they are.
Lol…nice closing line to the write up!
It just amazes me how people interprete things soooooo differently from wat was written…looking @ waste of ink, komster, lala n (i cant even remember the last one!)…its either y’all went to the same night skool or none at all…ur interpretation of wat was written is sooo off tangent, its not even a bleep on the radar…
If u’re not sure wat’s being conveyed…just ask not get saucy, it never hurt anyone…xoxo!
Hmm! Adultery is bad in all forms, Whether na man or woman commit! I think TW’s case was under the microscope cos e bi celeb. And it is true that Africans interprete or look at cheating in ways different than Americans. This article has some truth in it, infact alot. Shine ur eyes and u will see that most of it makes sense.Some facts just need to be presented in a cocoon; it is left to the readers to uncover.
im angry with this post cos on my blog post http://gistdotcom.blogspot.com/2010/06/its-mans-world-out-thereis-it.html, i unleasged venom on men who cheat n the women who cheat with them….mscheeww….nonsense