So there I was minding my own business, half listening to the radio and half consumed by my own random thoughts as I drove in to work one morning. When the radio presenter on Inspiration FM, announced that one of Tiger Woods alleged mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, would be taking part in the hit US reality TV series, Celebrity Rehab. The TV series, which shows how different celebrities overcome various addictions, is one that has captivated the American audience for 3 seasons and has had among its housemates, celebrities such as Janice Dikinson, Keisha Cole’s mother and Daniel Baldwin.
I waited to hear what Rachel’s addiction was. Heroin, cocaine, marijuana, cigarettes maybe??? No! It was none of the above. In fact, although the show’s producers claim her addiction was to prescription drugs, sources from US tabloid magazines say different. According to the tabloids, her addiction is apparently to….wait for it,…. LOVE. Did I hear you hiss? Well, I doubt if your hiss could be louder than mine. Even as I type this article I find myself still hissing at the very idea of it all. Addicted to love, such nonsense! While I am not prepared to discuss her alleged relationship with the golf supremo Tiger Woods, I do find it a tad bit ridiculous that anyone could be “addicted to love”.
Now don’t get me wrong, I too used to have my head caught in the clouds. The butterflys, the side glances, the stolen kisses. Been there, done that and sold my personally made Tshirt. But now, I believe that reality puts a slightly different perspective on things. But can anyone really blame me ? Almost everyday, I hear stories about so many horrible relationships it has become impossible for me to have a positive outlook on love. Personally, I think when it boils down to it, human beings are incapable of love. We don’t know what it is. Instead we equate chemical and hormone reactions in the body to love. I put this argument to my girlfriends over the weekend and off course they all disagreed!
Maybe I should be a bit specific about the kind of love I am talking about. I believe the love between parent and child is the purest form of human love there is. The look on the face of any parent as they cradle their new born is enough to make the hardest of hearts melt. It is the best and possibly the only form of human love available today. Anything else, especially between man and woman, is an adulterated, Hollywood influenced imitation. How else do you explain the rate of divorce and infidelity in marriages today? How else would you explain the high amount of both women and men in abusive relationships all over the world? How else would you explain the amount of broken men and women who have dared to believe in love. The explanation is simple, human beings are incapable of love.
Case in point. A few years ago, a close friend of mine got married. She was the first among my group of friends to get married. So you can imagine the excitement. They were one of those couples who looked like they couldn’t breathe without holding each other. I remember shedding tears as I watched her and her husband exchange vows. The way they both lovingly looked into each others eyes, the way they danced ever so slowly and tightly, like time stood still only for them. It really did look like a match made in heaven. I won’t even bother lying, I envied them. I remember looking up to the heavens and asking when my own time would come. Little did I know what the future held. Today both my friend and her husband are remarried (need I say to different people?).
Apparently it was only after they got married that they realized they had only one thing in common, their dislike for each other. They seemed to fight over everything and anything. Then came the abuse. First it was verbal, then physical. Then the cheating, the children he fathered outside the home, the mistresses that showed up at her home whenever they felt the need to torture her. You name it, she went through it. I remember asking her why she stayed with him for so long, her reply was simple. It wasn’t because she loved him and she thought he would change. No, it was because she couldn’t imagine starting all over again. She couldn’t imagine coping with the shame of being a ‘divorcee’. Today she is remarried to a far older man who she ‘cares’ for a great deal, it has nothing to do with love.
So given my cynical view, what then is my advice to the unsuspecting love birds out there. I think we all should be careful what we label as love. We need to make sure what you term as love mirrors closely that of your partners, or else, you might be due for a rude awakening. As for me, I think I have become jarred by it all. Maybe I have to do a bit of soul searching and reflect more on the positive side of life instead of the negative. But right now my definition of ‘love’ is someone who has the same outlook on life and someone who is both ready and willing to walk the walk, not just talk about it. Some may choose to call that love, I choose to call it common sense.
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