Sent From My BlackBerry: Lagos & Other Stories

Regardless of all the places I’ve been to around the world, nothing rings true for me better than Lagos does. It’s weird, call me razz/local or what you will it wouldn’t start a fight (I’ve made my peace with it). Maybe I enjoy sitting for hours in traffic, being able to buy a new wardrobe in said traffic, and being able to (almost) turn Police and LASTMA folk to roadkill (Another story for another day). The most unforgettable thing about Lagos has to be the public transport system. I mean where else can you find a ‘conductor’ wearing an helmet?

There’s nothing in this world that compares with the hope embedded in the heart of a Lagosian. Nothing.

So the June rains brought respite to the sweltering heat and with it, the floods. Can I get a sigh. Yes, floods.

:(

Have you heard that term ‘Boys are not smiling’? Boys, girls, men and women aren’t smiling back here. Here’s what I mean:

Ok, this one is uber deep. Like really and truly. It means (and my translation is feeble at best “Dump refuse here and become wretched. OR you and your children will be useless this year”

We have breakfast till 8pm!

Oh yeah we have our own Ben 10 too!

So, Rave-of-the-moment, Wizkid released his debut album last month to much fanfare. If you still haven’t bought yours, regardless of where you are (copies of the album were spotted in Maiduguri by the 15th and it’s available on notjustok), you’re on a long thing.

If you see me drive by….

What better way to listen to album of the month than with your Beats by Sikiru?

Assignment of the month

How many satellite dishes do you see?

Song of the Month

Unfortunately I could not give you the audio file for last month’s song – Kanye West Feat. PHCN All StarsOFF ALL THE LIGHTS. But this month, I will more than compensate. Yes it’s a throwback. No, you’re not on the late bus if you’ve haven’t seen it. In all my years I have seen nothing like this…

*drum roll*

I give you… Vic OAfter Party

Catch y’all next month people! Go and prosper!

109 Comments on Sent From My BlackBerry: Lagos & Other Stories
  • mma July 1, 2011 at 10:18 am

    my goodness is this for real lMFreakingAO

  • Ema July 1, 2011 at 10:20 am

    No Dulling in Lagos!
    Gba!
    lol!!!

    • ugowoundo July 2, 2011 at 5:54 am

      halate your boy!!!…..looooollllll…….dt just did it for me…..lol….HALATE YOUR BOY

  • Anonymous July 1, 2011 at 10:22 am

    OMG!! This is so hilarious!!!!

  • Damsel July 1, 2011 at 10:22 am

    Plssssssssss,don’t kill me wit laugh 4 here ooo.

  • Ema July 1, 2011 at 10:22 am

    First? 2nd time …(huge grin)

  • nwando July 1, 2011 at 10:23 am

    Lmao! Nice one Jibola.

  • Natoday? July 1, 2011 at 10:24 am

    hahahahahaha my boss thinks am crazy (still laughing & coughing)

  • NakedSha July 1, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Jibola, this is so simple and simplicity is beautiful and beautiful brings tears to my eyes. There’s absolutely nothing that measures to the resilience in a Nigerian’s eyes. Sometimes, it makes us aggressive (because we’ve been putting up an attack all our lives) but other times, it’s just bliss.

    The floods are sad.

    Tomorrow (however far away that may be), will be better than today. That’s the mind of a Nigerian.

    • JustPretty July 6, 2011 at 2:58 pm

      Tomorrow will be better if you make it better.

  • dee July 1, 2011 at 10:36 am

    hahaha, abeg i like my naija people. hilarious. thanks for making me laugh. only in Nigeria

  • hauwa July 1, 2011 at 10:37 am

    o mi lordy, this is too funny. nice job

  • a mon avis July 1, 2011 at 10:38 am

    lwkmdfho!! I’m laughing soooooo hard it’s ridiculous………Vic O and his cohort seem, look, and sound UNSTABLE

  • keisha* July 1, 2011 at 10:41 am

    good job Jibola, ds is so funny, cracked me up big time!

  • New bride July 1, 2011 at 10:42 am

    ‘Halate your boy’ is just classic! Obviously done by a yoruba person who literally spelled according to what he heard! Holla at your boy now becomes halate your boy! LOL!!!!

    • word! July 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm

      kikikikikiki………………this is a classic!…lol

    • Jess July 1, 2011 at 4:37 pm

      Ahn ahn..why’s it obviously a Yoruba person? :(

    • ko-eazy! July 1, 2011 at 6:04 pm

      LMAOOO, my Hausa friend thought he said “Alert your boy” Can you blame anyone of ‘em?? Definitely not with Whiz-kids’s accent…

  • IB July 1, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Lmao

  • pinkynailz July 1, 2011 at 10:57 am

    I laughed so hard ,tears fell from my eyes.thank you so much for making my day no,weekend!!!

  • kiki July 1, 2011 at 11:08 am

    ROTFLMAO on Halate your boy and Whiz Kid school
    is that video for real…..i had to check it out on YouTube and this dude has other equally ghastly videos on YouTube. and dat babe seriously? she is in all the other videos.

  • bukiola July 1, 2011 at 11:12 am

    LDKMDFH…..u jst brightened my day dt started very badly with this post….i love Lagos!!!

    • BigBen July 1, 2011 at 12:37 pm

      Isn’t it funny, I remember the first times I saw “kmt” and “smh” somebody had to translate them for me, but I see “LDKMDFH” and I immediately read “Laugh dey/don kill me die for here”…I just love my naija pple…

  • Pellu July 1, 2011 at 11:25 am

    Lwkmd. Somebody please tell me that video is a joke!!!!

  • RMG July 1, 2011 at 11:26 am

    I nearly fell of my chair laughing ,this’s classic!

  • bcgeorge July 1, 2011 at 11:45 am

    Vic-Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo , iThought iHad sen it all on youtube, even BN had to be part of this……..this dude needs amnesty, iSwear down! Ah ahn!!
    :D

  • Glory July 1, 2011 at 11:55 am

    This is freaking hilarious! I’ll think of this and laugh all day :D

  • NiNi July 1, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    ROFLMAO…

  • Younberry July 1, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    I’m so cracked up…”beats by sikiru” lol….
    Vic O belongs in the Nigerian Idol too…”After parry” lol

  • Hajia July 1, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    this is just too funny…..gotta love Lagos mehn.

  • ipphhy July 1, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    i cant stop laffing……nice 1

  • sucre July 1, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    Lmao…@D̶̲̥̅̊ boi listening to muzik via his head fone

  • Deiz July 1, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    OMG! This is a good way to start the weekend. can’t stop laughing.

  • Karimah July 1, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    AJIBOLA o…. I love Las gidi

  • Karimah July 1, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Are u shitting me?? This vid? is it for real???? nah…… wake me up when they are done

  • preppygirl July 1, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    you made my seemingly boring day,i cant stop laughing

  • T-i-T-i July 1, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Oh my, I enjoy each laughs …thx for sharing.

  • Africhic July 1, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    That video is juts Mad…………..LWKMDFH

  • afolabi olabisi July 1, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    this is crazy o.i can stop laughing o.best ever 9ja.luv it.

  • Chris July 1, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    LOL…..dying of laughter. especially @ “halate your boy”.

  • OyinD July 1, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Vic-O!!!! *SHUDDERS* enuf said o!

  • Bunmi Yomi July 1, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    this just made my day! i have bn laughin at my computer screen snc

  • amasha July 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Lol!

  • word! July 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    lolest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!what? This is ridiculous……..i’m laughing so hard right now….good job Jibola……..

  • abolade July 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    HAHAHA RATED!!!!!!!!!!

  • PosterA July 1, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    omdzz….this makes me want to go to Naij and just experience all this craziness first hand!!

  • mamav July 1, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    Lagos nawa

  • Tjawiee July 1, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    The conductor looks so much like an alien from Space in that helmet…..looooooool

  • swarovski July 1, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    lmao!!!!!!

  • stella July 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    You have really made my dear Jibola, i can’t stop laughing.

  • mary007 July 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    OMG I dunno which is funnier, but I guess the video is esp 0:44 secs, then the voive na die, 1:51 to 1:57 jeez suddendly all eyes look to the right the next scene anor person don join, 2:27-2 :37 anor pricless moment, YUP YUP on my lips all day heehheheheeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • ibetapassmynebo July 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Lmfao….this is crazy…..

    Plus VIC-O……let’s have sex already!

  • AeeDeeAee July 1, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    *clutches heart* Jibolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

    I af dieee!

  • Rachael July 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    More articles like this pls, loved it

  • pynk July 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Lagos def makes me laugh. All sorts of shit.

  • H.A.W July 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    LAGOS IS SPESSSSHUUUUULLLL

  • Kemchi July 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Chineke me! Odi kwa serious! Ogini bu ifa? That dude needs a psych evaluation, I kid not. As in is he for real? Warra heck is going on in dat video?
    Naija sha, I love my country.

  • osunde Abel July 1, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    THIS IS HALLARIOUS…..

  • Mide July 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    lmao…classic!!! some naija steez sef!….
    and VicO HMMN…*NO COMMENTs* lol..

  • BN Contributor on all things Fashion July 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    I am so mad at you for putting this video up and even more upset with my self for watching it. EVERY BORY LIKES TO PARRY………..SAY WATTT??? OMG

  • D pretty July 1, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahaha…Cant help myself ohhh.. Naija is truly a place to be,Lagosians una too much.. Lasgidi for life
    Thanks Jibola..Wat a good way to start the weekend

  • Akindele dare July 1, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Eko oni baje o….

  • iyabo July 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    laughed till i cried.

  • Aibee July 1, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Laff Wan Tear My Belle Oh. Lagos na wah! I love this city abi na mega-city sef?! Halate you boy!

  • Faridah July 1, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    Vic. O look like Mike Tyson fists had a conversation with his face. Kilode? HAFTAPARRY!!!

  • e-bukun July 1, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    You gotta love Lagos….Eko o ni baje for our Las Gidi people. lwkmd “you gotta haff ya groof on”, why is he “woof-ing” like a dog.
    Ok o, Halate your boy o ;)

  • Ogg July 1, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Yup yup yup…. After parry LOL

  • MOXIE July 1, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    omg!!!!i have tears in my eyes and my sides are aching.Thank GOD i read it this evening or i would have not been able to work for a while.jibola thanks for kickstarting my weekend.LHKMF

  • jbk July 1, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    LWTMBFH!!!!!!!!!

  • didi! July 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    LMAO!!!naija pipz 2much..gals and guys are not smyln!!

  • doubleyouhehigh July 1, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    *rolling*
    d flooded house nd car tho….sad!

  • ij July 1, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    VIC O rocks !!!!!!!!!, move over kanye

  • ncyluv July 1, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    lwkmd…rotfl… Vic O. This is hilarious. Who stole the DSTV smart card.

  • BeautyFULL July 1, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    “Keke today,private jet tomorrow”looooooooooooooooool.I’m sure my neighbours are about to alert the lunatic assylum!!!!!good one

  • Fab junkies July 1, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    Like seriously? Dat video? Na wa o.
    http://www.fabuloucityjunkies.com

  • Jade82 July 1, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    VIC. O IS A MESS….and he has more songs on youtube…….the worst is the latest one..
    Come my Home – Vic. O
    HOT MESS….
    hALATE UR BOY………….Lwkmd…

  • keghtor July 1, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    This pictures took me back home, so so funny our mother land no matter wat we still prefer been der cos der’s no were lk home.

  • tos July 2, 2011 at 12:22 am

    seriously am speechless,as in…

  • Unveilinggold July 2, 2011 at 1:34 am

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

  • Tolu July 2, 2011 at 7:09 am

    Lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, u made my day. Amazing write-up!

  • Mr NRC July 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Hilarious but i think this guy is also a full bred contender for the Video space allocated to VIC O..Ladies and Gentlemen..introducing Speed Darlington..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alg8XK_6d8U

  • kokolette July 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    rotflmao!!! @ d signboard telln pple nt 2 dump garbage der or else u would b wretched or u and ur children wuld b useless for d entire year!! loooooooool.. dats jst DEEP mehn!!

  • Me2me July 2, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    OMdays, im definitely halaing @ u nxt month. Dis is d best bella article eva

  • Sonia July 3, 2011 at 3:26 am

    The Music Video at the end… he’s so ridiculous WTF!

  • Didi July 3, 2011 at 7:44 am

    i‎​ LOVE lagos,,,, if you see me in traffic, Halate your girl oo. Jibola lovely piece

  • Olafisoye Tomisin July 3, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    who does this? what kind of crappy song is dis ehn? in a bid to overcome hunger.they would have saved demselves some money. now they’ve done the song. WHAT NEXT???

  • judy July 3, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    lol

  • anidiv777 July 4, 2011 at 12:18 am

    this was a funny piece…i luv my 9ja…loool…i just cant stop laughn

  • Tola July 4, 2011 at 1:26 am

    I love lagos…so much character! that breakfast till 8pm sign is the funniest!! lol http://www.theratedt.com

  • eMJOY Mayowa July 4, 2011 at 4:50 am

    LOL!! Kai. chai chai

  • WaleAdeniji July 4, 2011 at 7:40 am

    Guys in my office won’t understand why i’m laughing seriously. Lagos for show. Anything goes!!!!

  • Tommygirl. July 4, 2011 at 8:54 am

    Lawd have mercy!!! Hahahahahaaaa!

  • Ezi July 4, 2011 at 9:45 am

    OMG!!! Hilarious!
    ‘Halate your boy’ is the bomb!!!!!!!!!!!!
    http://heysista.wordpress.com

  • olamide ewuosho July 4, 2011 at 10:31 am

    OMG!!! Jibola u must be a MONKEY……….whr did u get this pictures?…..lolZZZZZZZ this blog is the most brilliant and ribcracking blog i have ever come across……….GENIUS……LMAO…….water is still coming out of my eyes and my make-up is messed up Jibola……ROTFL…….BIGUPS MEHN!!!

  • my day July 4, 2011 at 11:21 am

    ‘Keke today, private jet tomorrow’…omo see hope! ‘Whiz-kid INTERNATIONAL School’, abi ‘Open for breakfast till 8PM’!

  • bimby July 4, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Eko for show,no dulling…………………..

  • olamide ewuosho July 4, 2011 at 11:32 am

    where ismy comment? bellanaija not nyc atall
    i hope u post dis 1

  • Miss J. July 4, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    That is a very cool article… it really captures the essence of Lagos City. There is one pic missing….. Okada!

  • Purpleicious Babe July 4, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    loool… actually wearing an helmet.. the video have seen b4 and I didnt get it.. But I thot the dude was saying “afar pare”… didnt know he said after party until I saw the title.. Funny still… Everything is jokes…

    Well done Jibs…

  • Sugar July 5, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Naija 4 lyf joor. Where else can u get all these?

  • royalhottie July 5, 2011 at 9:48 am

    ahn!ahn! @ the refuse dump billboard. epe yi ti [poju.lol
    this post is so hilarious

  • Lue July 5, 2011 at 10:18 am

    ok….now ‘sent from my blackberry” always does it for me. im really rolling on the floor laughing………………chai!!!! no dulling in lasgidi

  • Deedee July 5, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Hilarious!! Love it!

  • amariya July 6, 2011 at 6:25 am

    Hahahahaha…. I just love uncu jibz.. (Y)

  • JustPretty July 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Just watched the video. Now thats funny!

  • JustPretty July 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    A lot of cafes in England serve breakfast all day.

  • tylilbaby July 8, 2011 at 9:36 am

    It can only happen in las-gidi. *smh*

  • taami July 12, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    lol!!!!! *sigh* i miss las gidi

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