Toss Out the Trash! Jennifer shares the Story of her Journey from Depression to Freedom and Joy

Depression is an alien term within many African societies but whether we choose to face it or not, the reality is, many African men and women at home and in diaspora are depressed. We have heard stories of seemingly happy and accomplished people committing suicide and when many of us look inward, we can relate to those dark feelings and gloomy emotions.

BN reader, Jennifer has been there. Depression and low self esteem wrecked havoc in her life but she has bravely turned her life around. Read Jennifer’s story and be inspired to turn your life around. If you recognize any of the symptoms of depression in any of your friends and family. Please encourage them to seek counselling and professional help.

***

I recently read a story of a young woman who took her life and people’s reaction to her story motivated me to tell mine.

I have been experiencing acute acne since I turned 14, instead of getting better, it got worse as I grew older.
There was absolutely no space on my face that was not covered – every inch of my face was covered in large, raised, red pimples…yes, it was that bad.

It made me so shy but I was able to hold my head high tried not to worry about it so much; After all, I was one of the best students in secondary school. Apart from the occasional taunts and name calling like “stone face”, high school wasn’t bad.

I gained admission into the university and I was ready to conquer the world. The day I landed, I vowed to graduate with a first class, get a lucrative job and make my parents proud. Life was good!

I met a nice guy, an older student, a good student who eventually became my boyfriend. On my birthday, during the second semester of my first year, I was in my room getting ready to go out with my boyfriend to celebrate when a girl walked in.
She was my roommate’s friend and she kept glancing at me. After a while she spoke to me…”Do you have a boyfriend?”, she asked “Yeah”, I replied.
“Hmm, you are lucky! With all these things on your face a man can still look at you? If I were a man, I wouldn’t date a girl with pimples, wont even allow my brother to date one”

My roommate was clearly embarrassed and later apologised but it was too late. The damage was done! My self esteem took a dive.Those malicious words zapped my self worth…

Thus began my journey with depression. I allowed those words to take root in my mind. I didn’t leave my room that day. I told my boyfriend who came to take me out to celebrate my birthday that I was sick. I didn’t even look up, I hid under the blanket…there I would hide on most days, missing lectures and more.

My grades suffered.

When people laughed, I thought they were looking at the huge, sore, inflamed zits on my face.I became a recluse, with very few friends. I graduated with grade far lower than what I vowed.

Due to depression and low self worth, I made bad choices in relationships. I was insecure, hence going from one abusive man to another. I blamed myself for the constant abuse and wouldn’t leave them no matter what. I felt I was lucky to even have a man, at all, with all these “things” on my face. Once a man showed interest in me, I would communicate those feelings of low self worth in some ways and they would capitalize on that.

Professionally, things were not going well. I couldn’t get a job. I would score high marks on tests but when it came to oral interview,once they asked me a question, I would be thinking that they were looking at the puffy, raised spots on my face. I would become tongue tied, unable to respond to questions I knew answers to.

On my way home one day, depressed and frustrated with no job; broke, friendless and with “black eyes” – a daily souvenir from my man, covered with thick foundation, escalated acne due to stress, I was crossing a
busy Lagos expressway…

A voice said to me, “All it will take is a few seconds, then all your problems will be over…Just stop, a few seconds and a vehicle, in seconds…you will be free. Do it, after all no one cares about you. No one will miss you

I did.

For some seconds, I was in the middle of a busy highway but miraculously, no single vehicle was in sight. Some people looked at me curiously, probably wondering if I was crazy.

I was.
Crazy, stupid, selfish and foolish.

At that point, I thought, for goodness sake, there are people who with permanent disabilities: blind, scarred, deaf, dumb, on wheelchairs and dead.

It took two years of prayer, series of counselling before I became free.
Most importantly, I found someone who loves me unconditionally. JESUS CHRIST, my personal lord and saviour. I dumped all the baggage and embraced freedom.

We all go through life carrying life limiting baggage that has eaten deep into our subconscious. Sadly, human beings are virtual creatures,hence they judge others based on their looks but we all have a choice about how we react to each and every situation in our lives. We shouldn’t let what people say affect us negatively, you might hear the words but choose your attitude.

There will always be voices and people telling you that you are not good enough, you are too ugly, too fat, too thin, too dark, dull, too poor and that you are a loser and a failure. What matters is how you choose to respond to them. Find happiness in your strength, focus on your goals and never give in to self pity. The power to choose is one of the greatest gift God has given us.

Start now, toss out that trash and lighten the load. As for me, I don’t have acne anymore except for the scars, dark patches and discolouration which I will take care of with microdermabrasion as soon as I can afford it.

I still get the occasional bouts of those negative emotions but I always quickly replace them with positive ones.The lost opportunities,the few good men I drove away are not coming back but there are better opportunities and a good man out there.

I am going to get a more lucrative job, to fall in love and experience the joy of motherhood, by His Grace.

Whether you are a victim or the one hating on others, making making malicious comments about others, remember that the strongest voice is YOUR OWN.

88 Comments on Toss Out the Trash! Jennifer shares the Story of her Journey from Depression to Freedom and Joy
  • adenike February 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Good writeup!! It is well…. May God hold the hands of everyone going through depression. It’s not easy one bit!

    • abba February 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm

      Sorry to digress from the topic but people really need to stop saying it is well, you fall down the first thing you hear is it is well, you lose your job and they come again with it is well, my father died and I am immediately surrounded by people chanting it is well, it is not well, maybe when people are allowed to show their true emotions instead of having to pretend that everything is well the depression will reduce!

      • Ayoola February 27, 2012 at 9:16 pm

        I feel you and I do agree that sometimes people are just trying to brush aside your feelings and sweep them under the carpet but try not to take it so personally as there are also many people who mean no harm and are not necessarily trying to minimize another person’s pain when they say it is well. They are just trying to be positive and may not know what else to say especially if they have never experienced your kind of problem and so don’t have any advice to offer as a result.

      • t February 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

        I am really excited about the article and a lot of the sensible comments that have been made. The truth is this: depression is out there and It lives within us. A lot of people are suicidal but society forbids us to say such things. I am suicidal. Yes, I daily think about killing myself…..the only thing that holds me back is the thought that I lost a sister and I knew how horrible that affected my mom and I can’t bear to put her through it all again. It will simply kill her. I tell people atimes and they say I am just being dramatic. They claim I have gone the way of the white man since I moved to the US so I have been left to keep it to myself while it eats at me gradually. I understand that many Nigerians cannot relate to depression and suicide cos they are oblivious of the causes. I mentioned it to one of my white friends in passing and she so much freaked out and has been calling me constantly just to check up on me for the past one month. The most annoying is when they say “IT IS WELL” let us stop playing lip service. Let us reach out and help people. I hope everyone that goes through this finds some help somehow (including me) before it is too late. And believe me, it is not always apparent. Anyone who looks at me will say I have a perfect life…being in one of the best universities in the world, studying a great course, having people who love me?…but what causes depression many times goes way beyond the obvious. For me, it is just that fear I cannot explain. A fear of inadequacy…inadequacy that could have been created sometime in my long gone past…from taunts of friends or family. From being molested or wanting that extra hug from my mom and dad (even though I know they will lay down their life for me)…from wanting to hear the words I love you constantly!!!…I just wish Nigerians will be more sensitive to the needs of others.

      • InCotonou February 28, 2012 at 6:19 pm

        Amen! I thought i was the only one feeling this. it is this over religious public declarations of faith that are at the root. People feel that if you don’t say Amen! or in Jesus Name! every time anybody utters a word, then you don’t have faith, bla bla bla. Sometimes people need to talk, really talk about things that bother them. Sometimes they need someone to listen, not just put a bandage on the wound with easy phrases like it is well. Sometimes i think we are hiding behind these phrases so we don’t have to really connect with another human being.

        So you have a problem? It is well! and i can move on to the next thing!

      • Nkeiru March 1, 2012 at 7:06 pm

        People saying it is well, is by no means a denial of their true feelings.Remember as christians,we are encouraged to profess our faith…it might not seem well @ d time,but He is inclined to give us peace always and by all means(quoting Apostle Paul)..so if u believe,it is indeed well.

  • Tiki February 27, 2012 at 11:47 am

    ahem ahem…Fiiirrrrsssttt!

    bin a while, that. Brb with a real comment.

  • Tiki February 27, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Having been blessed with a strong spirit and a positive outlook on life myself, I find it hard to understand depression. However when I saw someone I love very much fall into a depression, I realised it wasn’t just an invention of lazy people, but truly exists and is as bad as physical illness. I really wanna help, but don’t know how.

    • Miss A February 27, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      I understand your point of view and i pray you don’t go through depression as i have. It’s not about having a “strong spirit”if it was, i’d be the last to suffer from depression. So many factors are involved and each person that suffers from depression can trace it to a “trigger” . . I also had a positive outlook on life, my friends and fam came to me for advice constantly whenever they had issues coz everyone thought i had “tough skin” and could handle any situation. Having gone through a depressive phase recently, i realize that its a gradual process. It could be a combo of an unkind word by someone being repeated by another person, a loss, failure in important exams, unemployment…e.t.c. All these leading to a constant decline in self esteem. The best way to help is being supportive and complementing even the smallest positive in the person! You don’t need to understand why the person is depressed/thinking of committing suicide, just be supportive.

    • bettyb February 27, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      Depression is an illness of the mind

  • toyin February 27, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Touched. glad u saw d light. peeps who have never been depressed hardly ever can understand sufferers. have bin there before, still fighting the battle, I can totally relate. like u I trust in God completely and pray wheneva I feel gloomy. Someday I knw d pain will d will b gone 4EVA.

  • Tess February 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I haven’t even read the story but i know how bad depression can be. Presently my best friend is so depressed cos she discovered that her boyfriend/fiance is an ‘Osu’. I don’t know how to help but I really wish I can help her and I really really miss her cos she is just far from herself.

    • Nk February 27, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      Pardon my ignorance, but does that(Osu) still exist??? (.)(.)

    • Tomi February 27, 2012 at 5:18 pm

      Upset because her boyfriend is an osu? That still exists? na wa o.

      • Bianca February 29, 2012 at 8:03 am

        What’s an osu?

  • onyeka February 27, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Wow.. Thank God for ur life. I think most of us can relate to this story in more ways dan one.While growing up I was soo skinny with a big forehead n full lips. Worse was I had dis habit of opening my mouuth. I was always taunted by my own siblings especially my older sis. I was called ‘skeleton’. She used to tel me I was ugly and I wild feel so bad. It continued in secondary skol wit different names especially ‘ponmo lips’ my self esteem was sooo low and as a result I had a bad mouth so even when pple call me names I’d hv a worse comeback for u. Truth is even all dat dint make me feel better cos all my frnds were better looking to me.
    I got into the university and had a bf who was ‘Mr swag oh well he broke up with me after a month on d grounds of NOT BEING PROUD OF ME. Proceeded to ask my frnd out and tell all n sundry dat we never dated we just ‘had sumthing’ that was d beginning of a downward spiral for me. However, unlike jennifer I dint enter abusive rshyps rather I entered rshyps I knew wld never go anuywhere just to fulfill dis desire to be able to say Men r bastards n love doesn’t exist.
    I have ‘friends’ who tease me about my forehead n say things like I shld do only bangs to cover it up like rihanna cos sumtyms wen dey put my picture up as bbm dp ppe laff @ me and dey dnt like it. Oh well.. To cut d long story short.. Its stil a journey for me learning to live with my insecurities n physical imperfections. I knw I am far froom ugly and any man dat has me is lucky. All I can say is we only lose our self esteem wen we give pple permission to make us lose it. We cnt stop wat pple say to us but we can decide wat we wanna do with what has been said.

    The greatest gift is loving urself cos if u dnt no one will love u. Today pple say I’m one of d most confident self assured babes dey knw n I laff cos I knw sumtyms dis voice of not good enuff keeps playing in my head. Like I said its still a journey that only u will have to take.

  • dede February 27, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    depression is bad o. sumtimes i too tink of ending my life buh 1ok God for Jesus he always takes control and brings sumthing to distract me from doing such.

  • tinu February 27, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    lets learn to say or compliment one and other in a positive way cos u dont know whose life u r saving.and remember we r all made from christ jesus!

  • kemmy February 27, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    i can so relate with this,am a very good BN reader but i don’t comment.am a fine babe but my legs are so skinny and my siblings are not helping out @ all,they call my legs all sorts of names #toothpick,thiny legs# the list goes on and on.Because of that,you can never catch me wearing anytin short which i love because they will always give me reasons why it doesn’t fit or look well.i feel so insecure with my looks but it doesn’t show cos i have a very pretty face and body.i always break up or run away from guys because i believe they only like my face and shape and when they see my legs they will run,so i run before they do #that’s even if they get to see the legs cos am always on jeans or long gowns# .its just not fear i didn’t create my self God did and i try so hard to accept that am fearfully and wonderfully made.it can be very depressing,though i don’t take to heart but i sure think about it very often.

    • minnie February 27, 2012 at 3:23 pm

      wow and for me it is the other way roubnd, im a size 8 with big bum but also big calves and i hate my legs so much but my white friends always compliment my legs. What actually made me insecure about my legs is when i go to nigeria and my friends there tease me about having yam legs!lol but anyways i have learnt to live with it.

    • brownie February 27, 2012 at 7:07 pm

      totally feeling you on the skinny legs bit! I got taunted terribly in boarding school – called all sorts of names, “chicken legs”, bony etc…verbal abuse is a lot worse to overcome because you internalise it and believe it about yourself. Honey, you gotta rock your short skirts or dresses if that’s what you like! I’m done caring what people think about my legs! In fact as I’ve gotten older, people compliment on how they’d do anything to have my body type (legs included)!

      What doesn’t break you, only makes you stronger!

    • PD February 27, 2012 at 7:12 pm

      kem kem….i use to think that way until i started working in an office and i need to wear short smart dresses n skirts…..my dear….come c babe…..i learnt that it wasnt that bad after all and i really felt good because people could relate to me as me not my legs……..please dont let people bring you down with wat they are…..u are beautiful!!!!! stay blessed!

    • Creamy March 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

      lol i can so relate on the skinny legs thingy, i was so skinny as a kid i was teased ALOT, they say charity begins at home so the taunting about my physic began at home, I even had a bf who made fun of my skinny legs told him to take a good look at Tyra banks legs she made millions with her skinny frame. I guess we should try not to point out flaws in people and learn to point out their positive aspects, at the same time we should all learn to keep compliments and forget the insults.

    • hiaaa March 2, 2012 at 2:05 am

      Nne, there r some cripples that’ll rather hv that ur kain leg than hv none at all….so cheer up!

  • eazzie February 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    I think this should serve as a wake up call to people who always make slighting remarks about their fellow girls/guys..either about being too fat or being a stammerer or too short. These jokes may make you seem ‘cool’ among your peers, but remember that you could have contributed to the victims bouts of depressions and possible attempts to end his/her life. For me, i have so far struggled with my personal insecurities never allowing it consume me, however, growing up in high school and college, i realised that i did not have a lot of friends..reason being that a lot of girls wanted to belong to the popular cliques who were known for either being expensively dressed or attended the most parties or dated the most popular boys within and outside school. i began to question the possibility of being proud of your individuality like my mother had taught me and not go with the crowd. These girls were either sleeping around to get money to carry the big phones and wear the most expensive clothes or go for parties at the most posh hotels in town but i was just the normal girl who relied solely on the money my parents could afford as pocket money and the few clothes from the thrift store. It was really bad that some girls would talk to me in the hostel but when they are in school environment hanging with the ‘cool guys and girls’ and i walk past, they would turn thier head the other way. i would usually feel bad just thinking about it but being in that position, i learnt how to identify true friendship. in all of this, i learnt that no matter the situation i find myself, be it personal or situations brought on as a result of the environment i am in, i should hold my head up high cos no one will look down on you without your permission. Today i have a brilliant job, a wonderful fiancee and the most proud parents as i never caused them any trouble through out my school days. One of those girls bumped into i and my fiancee at the cinema and after scoping him, she whispered in my ear ‘i dint know u had such taste’. I do not call it taste, i think it was my individuality that made me stand out and the fact that i refused to be swayed by the fickle thinking of the people i thought were my friends. In all, be confident, be proud of who you are..tall, short, pimple, acne, stammerer, big lips.. its difficult but worth it….

  • Lil fiz February 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    “There will be voices and people telling you that you are not good enough. Find happiness in your strength, focus on your goals”. This is thesame advise i rendered to my friends who faces different problems, “focus on the future and invite God to take charge”. Afterall, mere humans sees what appears to the eyes, but God sees the inner beaut. Nice write-up though. Keep up the good work.

  • CaRaMeL SeXy NoNi February 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Can also relate to this, this is so me, am not pretty, av got big lips and big teeth, and guess wot? every one in my house always tells me am ugly and how big my teeth and lips are, jst yesterday my auntie was saying i looked like my dad, and every1 shouted saying my dad is not ds ugly o! i felt really bad buh wot can i do, i jst told dem i knew i was ugly. am still very insecure about my looks, sometimes i look @ the mirror and i tink to myself, why am i so ugly? i also have a lot of pimples on my face, buh not as much as the writer’s. sometimes i wonder if I’ll ever get married. i have also attempted to bleach my skin on several occasions, tinking mayb if i was light skinned I’ll be pretty. buh its all good sha…..been pretty doesnt qualify you fort heaven, ur relationship with God does.

    • kemionpoint February 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      At least u have aa sense of humor….being pretty no go carry u go heaven o!

    • brownie February 27, 2012 at 7:16 pm

      I want to say so much to you but also don’t know what to say?!! You are not ugly! Yes I don’t know and I don’t know what you like, but I’ve learned and I’m still learning that what makes a person beautiful is not what they’ve got on the outside but what comes out from the inside. A person who may not be the most physically attractive but has a kind and generous heart is far more beautiful than one who is physically attractive but has nothing but venom coming out from them! Eventually they become as ugly as the venom they spew.

      Stop believing the negative comments others say about you…it is not who you are and your looks should not be what defines you.

    • faith February 27, 2012 at 11:28 pm

      So wen things get tough d next option ȋ̊§ God abi.pls forget all dat.love yourself n learn how τ̅☺ makeup τ̅☺ cover dos bad feature A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ dress τ̅☺ kill.

    • Aston March 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      your actually funny!! my dear stop saying your ugly!! assume the imaginary position of MBGN ooh!! cuz not all of them are fine. Lord knows what he has in store for u.

  • UsaveOne February 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Wonderful piece i must say. I was once a candidate so i know first hand how it feels. god really helped me through.

    Check..
    http://usaveone.blogspot.com/

  • bundle February 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    hmm, i`ve got a big head, wetin dem no tell me while growing up, lol….but God bless my parents, they always reminded me that i was wonderful, and even with my big head, i have the most loving man in the world who absolutely adores me and i have loving friends, who sometimes make fun of my head just to poke fun, but i know they care. Acne isnt such a bad thing, You can always go to see a dermatologist who cud help out, it could be that your skin is allergic to the food you eat, or something els….my friend has vitiligo, and i love her becos she hasnt allowed it to define her. She is always happy and isnt ashamed to mix up with people, she has a killer body, so she always flaunts it and she won employee of the year at her office, lesson is concentrate on your strengths and leave those thing you cant change, the devil is out to make you look bad, we give him power when we believe him. There is this poem i have on my wall that gives me strength when i have feelings of insecurity creeping up:

    Our deepest fear

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    ~ Marianne Williamson

  • onyx February 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    In our society, we believe that words don’t mean anything. Ask any Nigerian kid caught taunting another child in the schoolyard what his motives are and he’ll say he didn’t mean any harm. We’ve refused to acknowledge or take any responsibility for our actions for so long that the attitude is now part of our culture. That’s why loud mouthed traders in the market will quickly yell out something in your direction that they think defines you – “orobo”, “lepa”, “blacky”, “yellow”. The list goes on.

    Regarding depression, it’s a terrible place to be. Too many Nigerians are fronting hard in public and crying/drinking/smoking their worries away (or even worse) in private. We don’t encourage people to expose their pain. Thanks to the writer for sharing her own journey and I pray anyone reading this will find the courage to speak out.

    • Ijeoma February 27, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      I so agree. Sometimes I shudder at how wickedness has become so ingrained in Nigerians. And we’re the first to quote the bible verses that talk about the curses you can utter with your tongue. Words are truly powerful. If you have nothing nice to say, shut the hell up and pray to God to forgive your wicked thoughts. We also need to start acknowledging those things that sweep under the rug and call ‘Un-African’. Depression is real and everybody handles every situation differently because we ARE different.

  • gina A February 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    I thank God 4 his Grace upon my life.Am a beautfull maid wit a fine face,hips & average height wit a chocolate skin 2 die 4. yet pple still won’t stop making derogatory staments abt my weight. nt that am even 2 fat,while in d university I usually starve my self jst so I can look slim fit.my friends will always make comments like “Gina seems u are adding weight again ooooh”,bt thank God I never allowed such comments get 2 me.d most recent one was wen a guy told me dat I look seven years older than my age,I almost wanted 2 start crying bt wen I recalled dat am a true image of God I could nt help bt smile.

  • spicee February 27, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    BN,you people need to put up a “like” button o.‎​I need to like @bundle’s comment X100..@caramel sexy &all D̶̲̥̅̊ others that have gone through depression or are still going thru it,D̶̲̥̅̊ only thing ‎​I have to say is the Lord is your strength and you will surely overcome.

  • sweetgal February 27, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    wonderful piece wa oo i have been in dis situation sha pls do encourage urself with d Lord cosdats d only way and be confident too

  • Nomy February 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    @ Tess i think i need your friends number. Did you say Osu? Who the hell on this earth still recognizes that? The most important questions she should ask are, is he genuinely Christian, are we relating well in this ship? Then she should totally go for it. I live with people who are supposedly Osu and i don’t give a tinkers damn. In fact i no dey remember say them suppose be Osu. Na people dey remind me sef say these people be Osu. That said, nice article. Many things can make you depressed but God does help!

  • Okechukwu Ofili February 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    This article moved me! Thanks so much for sharing. I went thru bouts of insecurity in college, I had acne, a chipped tooth, oily skin and the works. I never wanted to go out, all i wanted to do was study study study. The only thing that helped me were positive colleagues. Your an inspiration! Keep rocking.

    • Mariaah February 27, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      OMG I chipped my tooth when I was 8 .. LOL..

  • bettyb February 27, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    I admire your courage for speaking out. Depression and indeed mental illness still remains a taboo in our society. Depression is not about insecurities, not feeling too happy about current life circumstances e.t.c. it is not something that can be willed abway just by positive thinking as many thing. Depression is a mental illness.It has psychological symptoms sucha as low self-esteme, feelings of guilt, worthlessnes. It also has physical manifestation such as lack of appetite, poor sleep, early waking, lack of intrest in doing things one previously enjoyed doing. Like physical illness, it needs intervention and treatment.Please not that the reader mention she had counselling sessions as well as having faith in God.
    If you recognise any of the signs, please get professional help.

  • Asia February 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    I understand how you feel

  • Ngozi February 27, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Totally concur bettyb, I’m a medical student and dis doesn’t even exzempt me, I have also been thru thsame, infact the cause might not even be your low self esteem, it has a wide range of etiology. So immediately u notice your not being yourself or u see year friend crawlin into a shell consult a psychiatrist, drs no biggie, cuz I kno d stigma of oNe going to see a shrink especially in Nigeria is very alarming, d early u strt to deal with it the better, cuz it can go on for longer than u can imagine….also dnt loose u trust in God bcos He’s all knowing, he created d drugs, he knows about depression n most of all He knows everything about you. Bless!

  • dobis February 27, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    OMGdness! Depression is really & truly bad. It does kill. I actually almost died of it when in boarding school. I felt so insecure, intimidated, had a very low self-esteem bt, i thank God i’v gotten over it a long time nw. I sought the face of God and vowed not to allow ANYTHING AT ALL, man-made or not to worry me. I’d rather that thing get’s destroyed or overlooked. I think i inherited pimples from my Mum but mine’s as big as boils & i have a very rough face. The ‘boils’ are gone, thanks to “CLEANSHIELD” bt d roughness’s reducing gradually & i don’t mind it @ all. It’s all about being who u really are & what u want to be, no matter what ANYBODY says.

  • cee sabrina February 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Kai!!! There ought to be a like button really!! I’ll only say words can hurt us as long as we let them.. God is ever faithful and even says it, ‘ Come unto me all ye that are burdened and heavy laden and I wil;l give u rest(hmm.. i just tot that up fa!!Considering I had a reallllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sad day with derogatory comments from some froglina byn like dat, this sure is a blessing..hmm.. Now, why didnt I remember the,’ Come unto me ………….” bit when I was sooooooooo sad earlier?? hmm… God have mercy and helep us o!!!!!!!!!

  • missA February 27, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    I am eternally grateful for an upbringing that stressed on self worth and not what one looked like. I have a sense of worth and not carried away by what i look like and how that looks to people. If we learnt to look beyond the physical, a lot of self image issues would go away because we would stop criticising.

  • Cynthia February 27, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Depression can be so devastating, but it only takes courage, support from friends and family and above all, God’s intervention to over come it. I’m shocked that someone got depressed because they found out that their boyfriend is “osu”. Why should this barbaric culture of branding other fellow humans as slaves be still practiced in this day and age? Why should it still have strong relevance till today. There are certain aspects of our culture that entail out-casting other people which need to be banished. This “osu” thing is one of them. Now I’m going off topic, I just had to comment on the “osu” thing, its a really really barbaric act within the ibo culture.

  • Partyrider February 27, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” -Plato
    This quote is specially for all those who never have kind words to people either strangers or people they know. That hug could be what would save the neighbor who has planned to commit suicide,that smile could change everything.
    Personally I grew up in a positive environment,where I was made to believe that I was the best,special and loved.so I truly don’t know what depression even feels like,but i do know a lot of people battle with it. In Nigeria if you don’t have anything ‘positive’ to say or do you better be silent cos people are not ready to hear your tales of depression and struggles.this is a sad reality..
    Oh well..to anyone going through depression,please seek help.not everyone will come to self realization like Jennifer and be able to fight through it. if you are a Christian find solace in Christ.He is the only one that will never judge,condemn,hate,criticize , or stop loving and believing in you even when the world turns its back against you.

  • Amazed February 27, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Anyone teasing you about having skinny legs or being skinny is just jealous of you trust me! They need to get off their fat butts and head to the gym maybe then they wouldn’t have so much hatred towards slim girls! Love yourselves ladies!!!!

  • Meangirlgonegood February 28, 2012 at 5:56 am

    This is why I don’t comment any more, if I haven’t got something nice to say I stop the thought and having be tauted as well, I promise to let positivity be my watch word. To all I have said mean things I am sorry. You just never know

  • Anon February 28, 2012 at 6:01 am

    I am encouraged by the writer’s story and those that have overcome depression.
    It saddens me every time I hear someone mock about a suicidal individual. It is not a joke.
    Many people also delight on making unecessary mean comments on Nigerian blogs. While it ok to disagree with a point of view or critique a person, it should always be respectful and should never go to mock aphysical attribute that they were born with because it is very harmful speech.

    Only about a year ago did I come to terms with the fact that I’d been experiencing depression for most of my life, at least 6 years. I’d never given it much thought especially when you hear some Nigerians say that we have tough skin and are not as prone to mental conditions like most Westerners. I have come to learn that all humans face mental challenges regardless of our skin colour or where we grew up.
    I didnt acknowledge what was going on until it started really eating away at me. It has adversely affected how I interact with people, my ability to focus and my approach to life. similarly to the author, I sought validity via entering into a relationship and my vulnerabilities were played on bigtime. One can only hear so many negative and mean things about them before they start doubting themselves.

    Unfortunately, I am still battling depression and I consider everyday that I am still alive to be a step in the right direction. I ocassionally think ofhurting myself so I don’t feel anything anymore, sometimes suicide. I have prayed. I am also currently looking for someone to speak to, have been for over a year. The issue is finding someone that is non-judgmental and that actually listens.

    I look forward to the time when I will be completely free of depression, hopefully I get to see that day.

    I’ve been rambling, but it was somewhat calming to just type. Thanks BN

    • bettyB February 28, 2012 at 8:52 am

      Please permit you to give you some advice. I can clearly recognise the symptoms of depression in your write up. Please don’t give up, you are in the right direction.But you need to seek medical help. Yes prayer helps(i belive that is what may be stopping you from self harm and suicidal ideas). But please remember that God in the bible healed people in various ways. For some it way by speaking a word, others had to GO to get their healing. Please find a psychiatrist or at least a doctor to talk to. They may give you anti-depressants(which would certainly help) or refer you for councelling. If you want recommendations, i can give that to you.

    • baberutty February 28, 2012 at 10:41 am

      Sweety, I would like us to talk. Please email me on baberutty@gmail.com

      I also battled depression but never really admitted I was depressed. It was triggered by the negative comments being made by someone I love so deeply. It was so painful and it made me become doubtful of who I really was. At a point I became suicidal cos he made me feel I wasnt intelligent and bla bla bla. I found it hard to hold a conversation with anyone cos I would feel i wasnt making sense. My friends couldnt believe it cos back then in school I was one of the top students in my class. But I found God. That day I went on my knees and said to Him, God, if you dont take this pain away I’m gonna take my life. And He did. Right there on my knees I felt such strength and love. I wasnt thesame person when I got up. And God took me to the book of Isaiah 43:4 and my eyes opened. Now I see myself as the best thing to ever happen to the world. I’m d most beautiful girl on the face of the planet. I’m a friend to the best “guy” in the whole universe, God. And God has made me so intelligent when I open my mouth ppl wud just be quiet cos they want to learn from my wisdom. God loves us so much and wants to be our friend. He wants to talk to us. And yes, God speaks. He speaks to me everyday and He also wants to speak to you. His love cannot be quantified. And He wants the best for you….Jer 29:11. You are unique and there can only be one YOU. Be happy and trust in God to see you through. God wants us to live life and live it abundantly. Shalom.

  • Stelzz February 28, 2012 at 6:28 am

    I know it took a lot to share this. Depression is real and many of us battle it all the time. It is just God’s grace, His word and the support of the people who love us that keeps us going and puts our focus on the positives and not the negatives.

    To everyone else out there, God made you beautiful regardless of what people say. Beauty is not just an external thing but also internal. Once you decide to focus on your beauty as God designed, you will be liberated and you will be able to be who God wants and designed you to be.

    http://thespringinmysteps.blogspot.com/2012/02/fearfully-wonderfully.html

  • timma February 28, 2012 at 6:42 am

    Thank God for your life.May God grant ur heart desires,amen

  • NUBIANWATERS February 28, 2012 at 8:10 am

    Interestingly, I had an in-depth conversation with a friend lately on this pertinent issue. It is very disheartening that in our society, depression and its possible causes are trivialized. Quite a number of depression emanates from extensive pondering on spoken words. People can naturally be insensitive when trying to express opinions hence a deliberate act to be mindful of the words we utter. Our capacity to handle words differ from one to another however, if we allow ourselves to be guided when offering unsolicited remarks, we can potentially rescue a feeble soul from plummeting into the snare of depression.

    I am of the opinion it is in no one’s place to tell another what they think of their physical attributes. By all means, verbalize that which you may appreciate, for no one ever reduces through positive compliments. However, when you see something about someone else which you do not like or appreciate, kindly do humanity this auspicious act – SHUT UP! Words spoken can never be recalled. They are sent on errands to accomplish a mission in the life of the hearer, therefore, sow kind words.

    It is common practice for people with low-self esteem to bring down others with words, sadly. But what they fail to realise is, the momentary satisfaction they get from such selfish act could be the beginning of an endless cycle of depression for another. Let us be guided with LOVE in our hearts, our words & our actions towards one another. I believe words are the most powerful gift to humankind. Your words can be a source of damnation or healing to others. Let’s use them wisely…

    Peace!

    http://nubianwaters.wordpress.com

    • Uju March 12, 2012 at 4:11 am

      You couldn’t have said it better…. My exact sentiments.. Thumbs up!

  • giggles February 28, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I thank God because He helping me pull through . I had one of the biggest and fastest growing boobs back them in JSS 2 . I was calld all kinds like mammary gland, mother africa, manchester, chesterbig and been in an only girls’ school worsen the matter as i was always called out for pregnancy test by the tribalistic female teachers. i became withdrawn, walked alone nd cried alot. In the early years of my university no younger guys asked me out anyone that did stared at my boobs while talking . The older man made it worse as they stared and commented how they would do justice to the boobs if they had the opportunity. I hated them and kept squeezing them into tighter and smaller bras to make them look smaller, i never spoke in public cos i felt everyone would stare at my chest area. In my 3rd year i started having sharp back pains and short breaths a visit to the doctor changed my life.

  • sewa February 28, 2012 at 9:40 am

    wow!…this is really nice..thanks for the writeup..it ministered to me…

  • adetoke johnson February 28, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    no matter what life throws @ you,always choose your disposition in any circumstances and remember you are more than a conqueror through christ that loved us.

  • aosgrl February 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    I’m a bit concerned that a majority of the replies are focused on the depression or lack of self esteem that resulted from repeated teasing about their physical attributes by people around them. Sometimes, depression does not require a triggering event, sometimes it just happens due to chemical imbalance in the affected person’s brain. It just so happens that this person’s chemical imbalance was tied in to issues of a physical nature as well.

    Just pointing out this distinction….

  • me February 28, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    I grew up with bad acne and all through highschool I was made fun off , but guess what ?? I made fun right back at anyone who made fun of me. I still break out but i don’t care. Beautiful is what’s inside and I happen to be beautiful both inside and outside.
    Like aosgrl said , I feel the acne was just something you could blame for low self esteem and depression. You would feel the same whether or not you had acne. I would never get over ppl feeling insecure over their physical features. I’ve seen dirty , I’ve seen unkempt, I’ve seen overweight and out of shape but i’m yet to see ugly. I need a definition for what ugly is , cause if you see or say ugly , what you’re saying is just what’s inside of you being projected to some one who will let you insult them and get away with it

  • onyemalu uchechi February 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    May God help us all

  • cutie February 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    WOW! Very powerful! Thank you for having the courage to write this story. There are many girls who battle the same type of feelings of low self-worth and self-conciousness! I happen to have those thoughts try to creep in at times. I pray God continues to strengthen you each day, and other girls also learn not to allow other people to determine their self-worth. God has made you royalty and don’t let the devil or a bitter, hurt person make you think otherwise.

  • Obi February 28, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    The sad part is that when you react either verbally or emotionally to verbal taunting, especially from friends & family, you hear, “ah ah, you’re too sensitive.” Many people don’t realize they are mean because they are surrounded by people who laugh along when bad jokes are shared. They don’t realize that their tongues have the power to kill & destroy no matter how often they hear it preached in church. Why?

  • tj February 28, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    av been suffering from depression for like some months now.i allowed words frm a friend to take a negatibve impact on me and my mind setting.since i knew her to be the troublesome person and ow she will destroy who ever crosses her path with her mouth ,wen we had our differences i culdnt help myself nt to think she was talkiong abt me or bringing me down.i was lost in that thought .and since i am dis conserved person and always like to handle my problems on my won .it ate deep into me.i kept seeing ugly statements of hers on facebook (or may be i was thinking like dat ) an dfor the fact that our other friends didnt bother abt me.to cut that story sshort i reached that maximum height called depression thinking of comminting suicide and so on.but i thank GOD today i am getting better an di knw i will surely be out of this soon.we are still in the same environment and i still do see her ,she is living her life .i just wish i could live mine too without tthinking of any of those thoughts.one thing is that i dnt want revenge or anything.am just hurt cos i feel i wishe u well,y nt wish me well too.

  • Of life,love and acne February 29, 2012 at 1:11 am

    Wow!this thing called acne…abi pimples.Na wah…
    Shortly after my 16th birthday,I started breaking out in the most bizzare form of acne.Big red zits that were so red,ugly and painful.This carried on into the university,so much so that it became my identity.I was often described as the girl in d dept.that had pimples.When u first saw me,it was definitely the first thing you’d see.I practically withdrew from the world,from myself,from everything around me.I had very few friends,the ones whom i thought had grown used to seeing me like that.I travelled far and wide for a cure for acne.Everyone in my lineage practically turned into a pharmacist once they saw me.Every kobo i had was spent in purchasing one miracle cream,lotion or gel.at some point,i am sure that all d dermatologists in nigeria knew me.My acne had become me.I had gradually lost all my self esteem,could never look anyone in the eye,cos i knew they’d just be staring at me,with that look of pity and disdain.I call them the dark years in my life.I dreaded taking pictures,avoided looking in the mirror,and always used to wear black or dull colored clothes,so no one could notice me.I had done all that was within my power to do.Drugs,chemicals and balms did nothing to help…I decided to turn it to God in prayer.YES!I prayed and fasted and begged God to heal me of the acne.You know what he did?He opened my eyes to see all the wonderful ppl he had placed in my life to love and support me unconditionally,made me understand that his love for me wasn’t dependent on how i looked,gave me a totally brand new lease on life.Restored my confidence one day at a time,and then,ultimately one zit at a time,he healed me,from the inside out.Today,looking at me,you would hardly beleive i ever had one single acne…and to think that at the peak of the whole acne season,I met my love,my best friend,paddy mi,the one with whom i’ll be walking down the aisle in a few mnths with,who loved me through the most horrid 5years of my life,is just amazing….God did it!
    So my dear, dear one,mine was acne…yes maybe small and inconsequential when compared to what u may be facing,but whatever it is…Please hold on,don’t give up.Hold on for just one more day,help is on its way.

  • Beverly February 29, 2012 at 1:15 am

    While I give credit to the “author”, I am even more concerned about the narrative.

    [I was.
    Crazy, stupid, selfish and foolish. – It took two years of prayer, series of counselling before I became free. -Most importantly, I found someone who loves me unconditionally. JESUS CHRIST, my personal lord and saviour. I dumped all the baggage and embraced freedom.]

    There are people who are CLINICALLY depressed and might be for the rest of their lives. This reads to me like a church testimony. I am concerned about the Nigerian Christian narrative. I wish BN would in the future speak with someone who has overcome depression with medication. I do understand that not everybody requires medication but not everybody will be able to overcome depression solely with the word of God.

    There is just enough information here to be dangerous. This just re-enforces the stereotype that you can pray mental illness away.

    p.s. I believe in divine healing and know people who practice it, i just choose not to.

  • T2 February 29, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Great story, but note – people with scarring are not permanently or otherwise disabled!

  • xoxo February 29, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    This article has brought tears to my eyes.
    As soon as i got to the third sentence, i was wondering if someone was spying on me and telling my story…
    Ive had terrible acne for ages. In Uni, I was the black girl with pimples. If I visited a friend, i’d most likely have left with one cream or the other to cure my acne as a gift from my hosts mother or aunty. I’ve had numerous people approach me on the road, once in a club (he turned out to be a doctor) who saw me from afar and wrote a prescription for me on serviette paper! Yes, in the middle of a club! I guess he could see my shame, even in the dark
    I’ve had such a battle with acne, it has affected my self esteem and how people see me. I’ve had 2 people tell me to my face that i’m ugly. My husband does not agree. Smile.. As a result, I’ve developed a tough skin, as well as a bad mouth and a fiery temper. I feel the need to scare people away before they hurt my feelings..
    I cry, sometimes. In my car, to my husband, to the Man who made me.
    I’ve become very bitter about it. Because, I am NOT ugly. I do not have the same ‘fresh faced’ opportunity as every girl.
    BUT.. I’ve got a plan. One day, when I become successful, I will remind everyone who has mocked me to my face of what they have done, how they hurt my feelings, made me cry, made me sad. Better yet, how they have fueled my desire to succeed.
    Thanks for all your comments, I have NEVER learned soo much from one article. Bless. xx

  • ednat February 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    i believe we fear cos of our past,i am pretty but i fear i can’t meet a kul and a caring guy,because of d level of poverty,i worked so hard to get a professional course,i got a good job still yet its like it bcoming to hard,now i am doing my bsc,trying to be a great lady,i run away from guys who won’t work like me it has caused several abortions and right now i am living like a corpse finding joy in GOD and trying to be happy,i found joy in the LORD but i still look down on myself but i believe there is a father who knows me before i was born

  • ify March 1, 2012 at 1:25 am

    i relate with this acticle. i have natural yellowish brown teeth which makes me very conscious in public.Although i thank God he still blest me in looks but my refusal to smile in public makes people think i a snob and guys are intimidated to approach because they think i will tell them off. likewise oral interviews has been a nightmare because i think they are staring at my teeth. I thank God now i have outgrown it a little, being in the UK has thought me to smile without showing my teeth like the British people do (although some of their smiles are fake).To cut it short, God has blest you in other areas show them off.

  • Tobechi.daniel March 1, 2012 at 6:57 am

    A beautiful and true piece. Depression happens and depression hurts.More awareness is needed. For a country that mouths spiritual words, wickedness is also deeply ingrained.

  • love March 1, 2012 at 8:16 am

    I dont think saying ‘it is well; is such a bad thing……they say fake it till u make it or U r wat you say……….i may be broke but i always walk nd talk like i have money nd tins just fall into place….dts faith, u dnt hv 2 understand it…u just hv 2 bliv…..of course, its allowed to feel ‘it is nt well’ but den again u brace urself…..just last yr, i watched as my parents buildings were set on fire by cpc supporters durin d last electn, i cried so much, i refusd 2 b comforted but then i looked up to my mum nd she said a silent prayer nd said it is well….nd i blivd……nd my parents refusd any1 who told dem ‘sorry’, dey only wntd congratulatulations and today we hv a bigger land nd d buildings r on deir way 2 completion…..so really, its nt been religious, its faith.

  • SARAH TIMMY March 1, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Good write up

  • drlily March 1, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    Acne….the bane of so many females! I’m a medical practitioner, it erupted in my 2nd year in med skl, still having break-outs even as I type. I’ve fasted α̲̅πϑ prayed, stl get depressed over it, stl dread those occasions when there’s a big zit on my face, α̲̅πϑ I have to go out α̲̅πϑ face pple, esp females who are clear-skinned. I’ve gotten advice from all α̲̅πϑ sundry…barbers, hair stylists, dermatologists, etc. Heard of awful measures like using my urine to wash my face (yuck! I firmly rejected that!!). I’ve learnt to accept myself like that. Add the fact that I’m quite tall α̲̅πϑ slim, α̲̅πϑ U̶̲̥̅̊’ve got an attention-getting combo. Pple notice me immediately I step in a place. My combo almost got me severely depressed, but whenever I remember that I’m wonderfully made, it bounces off! Add that to the fact that I had a wonderful relationship in the midst of the acne-filled years, (though we’ve broken up now), α̲̅πϑ several guys stl trying to get me in spite of it all…I’m just thankful to God 4 me.
    It’s easy to get depressed in Nigeria, but we hide it so well…..my friends alwaiz brush it off as a joke if I talk abt stuff like that. A good support system is essential, no man or woman is an island. And could someone please get a permanent cure 4 acne?! They’d be instant billionaires!!!

  • drsue March 1, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    Acne….the bane of so many females! I’m a medical practitioner, it erupted in my 2nd year in med skl, still having break-outs even as I type. I’ve fasted α̲̅πϑ prayed, stl get depressed over it, stl dread those occasions when there’s a big zit on my face, α̲̅πϑ I have to go out α̲̅πϑ face pple, esp females who are clear-skinned. I’ve gotten advice from all α̲̅πϑ sundry…barbers, hair stylists, dermatologists, etc. Heard of awful measures like using my urine to wash my face (yuck! I firmly rejected that!!). I’ve learnt to accept myself like that. Add the fact that I’m quite tall α̲̅πϑ slim, α̲̅πϑ U̶̲̥̅̊’ve got an attention-getting combo. Pple notice me immediately I step in a place. My combo almost got me severely depressed, but whenever I remember that I’m wonderfully made, it bounces off! Add that to the fact that I had a wonderful relationship in the midst of the acne-filled years (though we’ve broken up now), α̲̅πϑ several guys stl trying to get me in spite of it all…I’m just thankful to God 4 me. And also for the fact that it’s clearing off now…
    It’s easy to get depressed in Nigeria, but we hide it so well…..my friends alwaiz brush it off as a joke if I talk abt stuff like that. A good support system is essential, no man or woman is an island. And could someone please get a permanent cure 4 acne?! They’d be instant billionaires!!!

  • Funmi March 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    It seems like a lot of people have changed the direction of the article from struggling with depression to dealing with insecurities. In my opinion, the severity of depression has been somewhat watered down because the writer made reference to her acne.

    The writer’s struggle with an insecurity led to her depression but this is not always the case. We all have insecurities but those who have gone through depression will tell you they are not the same. Depression is a dark and lonely abyss and some people fall in cycles that lasts weeks and even months. It can be caused by insecurities, death of a loved one, feeling overwhelmed with the sadness in the world, the fear of death and so on.

    Religion gives hope which can help a depressed person to deal with it but some people need constant counselling, medication and so on to have a functional life. So people the fact that you are sad about your boyfriend does not mean you are depressed. Throwing the phrase anyhow can make the people really going through depression not get the attention they deserve.

  • busola March 3, 2012 at 5:58 am

    I agree with @Funmi. I am a medic and we have studied depression and other psychological disorders. I am not quite sure a lot of people commenting on here truly understand the real meaning of depression and its severity. Most of the cases I’m reading on here seems more like deep- seated insecurities, low self esteem issues not chronic depression. Clinical depression could be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, or genetically acquired. In these cases, you don’t have control over it and really need a medical intervention. A person with depression will experience cold, dark and extremely lonely moments. They give up on everything and the clinical symptoms are very apparent… If you can identify the source of your sadness, that is manageable and could be reversed.. But this is less likely to be the case with people who are just sad for not reason… If you notice you are constantly sad and moody without a reason, please scream for help…

  • bibie March 4, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    this write up is so touching,,
    if one is not courageous, you end up building a protective walls around you n dt’s wen u get depressed, i have a speech problem, i can’t pronounce S,C or 6, any word dt has got dis alphabet in dem, is a big problem 4 me 2 pronounce…am still in it though n i pray dt d Lord wil c me tru n give me d strength 2 ovacome,

  • Aku March 9, 2012 at 4:49 am

    God bless you.

  • Aston March 27, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    well I feel very awful sometimes bt. I’ve neva tot about ending my life only when i lost my mum, I tot everything was lost and gone. after a few months I noticed that I was surrounded by motherless nd fatherless frnds which i hadn’t noticed before! so if they wre surviving who am i not to. Its not easy to shake outta depression and grief but i think pple shouldnt cover up wht they feel at times! And nobody truly knows how u feel until u go thru some circumstances in life. till today i’m still trying to put the pieces of my life together. but things can be hard sometimes. sometimes I feel shattered beyond repair but I laugh a lot so no one sees beyond my laughter, sometimes I cry at night but that’s all. I get up and keep masquerading the pain. Its like Lil Wayne sang that Mirror song for me. :'(… I’ll be better soon I hope.

  • bccinterbiz April 23, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    i ask what can we do to enable us solve people`s problem.i need to help

  • bccinterbiz July 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    i am a man of integrity that believes love is what the universe needs,that is why am advice to my fellow human beings to practice it,is a real truth.so may you find strength and courage in everything you do,and may your life be filled with true friendship and real love.

  • sede August 14, 2012 at 9:52 am

    I understand Jennifer’s feelings. I used to be in her shoes but the word of God has given me assurance. I used to have acne when i just entered the university; you know every girl’s dream is to look her best and catch fun while in the university, that is when this acne appeared on my face. people will tell me it is puberty, it would leave after a while…but it left and kept coming back, at a time my self esteem reduced,i felt everybody was starring at my face, it is even worse when people start asking you what you use for your face.But i tried every thing, spent so much with little/no results.It was terrible, at a point i thought it was even a spiritual thing because i know i am a beutiful girl!but it wasn’t showing because of ofthe spots.Finally i decided to live above it and enjoy my life.It is eleven years now, though i have the scars but i love me and i kow i am beatiful both inside and outside, and most of all the man God has blessed me to be my husband will not tarry because of my face….cheers

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