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BN Hot Topic: Pants Down! Now That You’ve Been Caught, What Next?

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You guys, this thing isn’t even funny again! Seriously, I don’t have a topic for today. No hot, no warm… not even cold topic sef! I’m completely empty and it’s not for lack of efforts. I was discussing with the team about what we should talk about. You know I’ve already established that we like to switch things up a bit. Love, lifestyle, academics, religion, love…. somehow or the other the matter always comes back to love/relationship matters. What did we talk about last week? I can’t even remember anymore. It’s not like my mind is that porous (okay maybe it is a little porous but hey!) but there’s so much to think about and do. I’m at the point where I’m going to throw this BN Hot Topic matter to you wonderful readers of BellaNaija.com. If you have any thing you’d like us to discuss and talk about on the BN Hot Topic please send an email to team(at)bellanaija(dot)com or features(at)bellanaija(dot)com. We’re always happy to read from our readers and contributors are ALWAYS welcome.

So, having established that I’m going to be winging it this afternoon, please bear with me as we talk about the recent developments on social media. The Battabox video went viral and all the ‘cool kids’ of the online  community have latched onto it. For me, I was curious as to how these women would go back and face their men (real or imagined). If you found out that your man/woman was cheating and it was all over the internet how would you react? A few years ago, my friend found out that her boyfriend of 6 years had been cheating serially, and here they were about to get married. In her despair, my friend wanted out of the relationship. To her, trust and fidelity were the fulcrum of a good relationship and if that wasn’t there, then she wasn’t willing to go on with the proposed marriage. One of her aunts called her aside and told her that “all men cheat, it’s how you manage your situation that is different. There’s no reason why you should throw one man away because he cheats. How many do you want to discard?” It wasn’t the first I’d heard that kind of advice from older people. They supposedly know better than the younger folk..No?

I’m not trying to psycho-analyze why men cheat, TJ already tried to do that here. Neither am I trying to rant about the ills of cheating, Glory already did that here .I’m just curious as to what happens after! Do you walk out? Do you try to mend things? Do you confess to your priest? How do you deal with the breach of trust that has been reposed in another person?

As always, I like to see what it feels like when the shoe is on the other foot, I wondered aloud about how men handle when their wives cheat and someone told us of how a guy found out his wife was cheating and when he confronted her she confirmed that she was unhappy and dude went out and got her a nice new car.

So what do you do when you know that your lover/partner/husband-wife has been unfaithful? After that initial stage of outrage and betrayal do you think of the other ‘positive’ sides of the relationship or is cheating an absolute No-No?

What do you guys think?

Photo credit:theboxhouston.com

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

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