Chinagorom Martin: When You’re Gay in Nigeria

A lot of times we believe that we’re quite removed from certain elements of the west. Homosexuality is one of those issues which exists in our society but we are often very quick to handle it with a 10-foot pole. We don’t want to readily believe that it is something that is around us. Cultural and religious restraints go a long way in forming our mindset. However, once in a while we have to stop to think about people who are not so directly removed from homosexuality. Close friends and family of people with this sexual orientation have to live, and deal with the stigma that society places on their loved ones. BN reader Chinagorom Martin is one of such. He grew up with a gay relative and experienced first-hand the hate that was directed towards him.

In his mail to us, he mentioned that this brother and friends were going through something that society didn’t quite understand. He decided to write about ‘the whole experience and life: discovering your preference of guys, the uncertainties that brings to your heart, the fears of being discovered and all.’

With the passing of the anti-gay bill into law, Chinagorom was inspired to write the piece and in his words: “My writing is not gay activism. I write so that people may know that life is hard for these guys already. The best we can do for them is a little tolerance. With the bill and all that has happened thereafter there’s close to an anarchy in this community and as a nation we have enough demons already that we do not wish to add this the list.”

Please share your thoughts in the comments section. We urge you to be respectful and not malicious in putting your thoughts and feelings across.

When you’re gay in Nigeria,your whole life is one colossal creationary displacement. You should have been born in Europe or some place in America, not here. Maybe he had tossed you in Africa hoping you would land in South Africa but you look in the sky and it is “green-white-green”. You go to the mirror and a square-in-a-round-hole stares back at you. You’re an anomaly, your very existence is an abomination.

Growing up you realize you focused on your peers’ bulging crotches while they bantered about the new girls they were cutting eyes at. But God forbid you were checking them out. You were just admiring the zipper on their jeans, nothing more. Strong as you feel it, you couldn’t be one of those things they call homosexuals, those cursed, perverted, bedamned, anathemised and hell-sure lot. Everyone hates and condemns them so you couldn’t be a walking taboo, admiring guys’ butts. God just forbid!

For all you have heard about your forbidden feelings no one has been directly spotted to be the same as you and no one has checked in with you. You conclude you are alone and carry your ton weighing sexuality lips-sealed, it is a burden breaking your neck that you cannot put down nor mention. It is a live coal that burns in your mouth that you cannot spit out. Then you journey through a spell-casting novena and make many resolves, but six months later you are where you started. Gay!

The more you think about it the more you feel caged, lonely. You want to be in touch with what you feel, you want a sampling. But you find yourself with no canvass to paint out the emotions. Those like you keep to themselves and before long you take to porn, ignoring the females and ogling every bump of muscles, every fleck of hair on the stallions. That is the picture in your head when you go to the bathroom for water and soap and an addiction builds, slowly.

Soon you get your first kiss and you are relieved your feelings are twinned in some other guy. Then you hear of guys who have been kissing guys. Same folks who traded tales of heterosexual conquests? Ah. Really? In the next gathering you make your own imaginary boasts. Finally.

After the kiss you battle thoughts of eternal damnation and do more novenas, more self-abasement but give them up soon you realise they did not make you less gay. And then a whole new world emerges on social media. You realise you have been stuck in ages past after you had those epiphanic chats on Facebook: two guys commending your looks and asking for your cell phone number. But you cannot, should not have guys making gay advances through an account where brothers and sisters and relatives and colleagues are listed and information says Interested in Women. So you create a phoney Facebook account and name it something silly, something to draw in like-minded guys. You name it ‘Fine Gboy’ and use a provocative profile picture, a headless shot of your chiseled abdomen maybe. You block out all gay suggestive profiles on your main account and request friendship of same through the phoney account where everything guys happens and information says Interested in Men. And there you select friends like you are picking Adani rice . No effeminate-looking/acting dude. That’s an abomination within the sacrilege your life already is. It is like contacting hepatitis B after a HIV+ diagnosis. No students, too much drama. Just working-class, safe! On your fake Facebook you are introduced to gay websites. You sign up on both and plunge deeper into the cultic hide-and-seek game being gay in Nigeria is. Soon you are meeting guys located far and near, people like you, men seeking men, and you bless the Lord for internet. Social media comes and communication is more spot-on, guys are even closer; only you are horrified by those guys who have filled in gay or bisex as their sexuality on Badoo where they could have left the row blank. This is Nigeria!, you want to remind them.

Gradually you hit the big 30 and the question of marriage becomes inevitable. Your friends tell you how they have to work up an erection to fulfill conjugal responsibilities to the ladies they have spoused. You do not envy them. You do not blame them. This is Nigeria! Everyone gets married. Everyone must have a child. (Maybe you should marry a lesbian, you have seen some on some websites). And for a fugitive moment you consider fleeing to Europe. You discard the thought. But you pick it right up when one morning you wake up and on the TV hear the debate on the senate floor. Not long after, your sanctimonious senators anathematize everything gay and slam a 14-year legislative seal on it. They have no idea they’d just poured fuel into a raging fire of gay hate and signalled an era of terror for you and your kind. Heterosexuals invade your cabalistic social media luring your brothers and experimenting all sorts of evil on them. They are brutalised, raped, robbed, blackmailed, humiliated on the streets and in work places but they take it in good stride cause it is a lesser evil than the 14 years imprisonment against which they cannot make a fuss and which their antipathetic assailants quote for justification. You hear of those stoned in the North, and of those whom are forcefully exorcised. Quickly you deactivate your profile and are wary of even previously trusted gay acquaintances. You get irritable at the lie you see you have to live forever.

Nigeria, all 923,769 sq km of it, becomes a claustrophobic space, it closes in on you. Now frustrated by it all you hate even the air here and wish wings to carry you across the Atlantic. You make up your mind to leave. You decide Europe. Or maybe America.

Photo Credit: aliciabanks.xanga.com

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Chinagorom Martin Emeka is a graduate of philosophy from the Pontifical Urbaniana University Rome. He grew up in Onitsha Nigeria where he now lives. When he’s not reading he’s trying to dance or trying to write. He’s available on martinchinagorom@yahoo.com.

56 Comments on Chinagorom Martin: When You’re Gay in Nigeria
  • John January 15, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    First they came for the Students, I did not speak up because I was not a student, then they came for the albinos I did not speak up because I was not an albino and then they came for the gays, I did not speak up because I am not gay and finally they came for me but no one was there to speak for me.

    • Iyke January 15, 2014 at 12:58 pm

      You definitely GET it! This issue is deeper and bigger than we think.It’s time for really smart people to think outside the box on important issues like this.

    • whocares January 15, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      I like you.

    • Jay February 9, 2014 at 9:02 am

      Wow that was deep. nice

  • Troll January 15, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    Couldn’t read everything abeg. But I still stand where I stand. That ban should be lifted. Homosexuality is wrong, there are no two ways about it, but it’s not our place to arrest and kill or judge sef. Is there a ban on adultery or fornication? No! because that one de sweet una. One thing that God has never denied us is our freewill, so let’s not take it away from others. As long as what you’re doing does not impede on another’s right. Then as Christians, let us preach against homosexuality and let them listen if they want. You cannot force morality down anyone’s throat, the same way you can’t force your sexuality down another person’s throat (this is to the homos. Y’all should also calm down abeg). I think homosexuality is perverse, I can’t even imagine what our society will be like in the next 10 years with the way we are moving but I’ve come to accept the hard truth; homosexuality has come to stay. The same way fornicators moved from been branded to becoming a norm, homosexuality will also there. Y’all might as well get used to it. #Trollout

    • Non professional opinion January 15, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      Co-sign @troll We seem to be agreeing on a lot today…..abeg change this your name joor!

      • Troll January 15, 2014 at 2:20 pm

        @Non professional opinion, you gotta take me as I am

  • ContessaVlad January 15, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Wow. I still cannot fully believe that all gay people were born gay though. It must be hard fighting feelings of attraction towards same sex and trying to live on the DL but isn’t there a way out? What about praying about it and seeking God’s face? There has to be a way out, since I’m not gay I know I can never fully understand but I empathise with the Chinagorom’s brother. While I do not support the gay movement I try to tolerate it as I myself am battling my own issues of fornication and ish. God help us all

    • Marc Francis of Chelsea January 15, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      You think people that are being threatened to be stoned or jailed in Nigeria wouldn’t have tried to pray against being gay? If it was that easy, who wouldn’t want to go and be cured? Have you never heard of the “reformatory centres” in the States where they take men and put them in electric chairs, showing them gay porn and every time they get hard, they are shocked? People died you know. The ones that made it were still gay, but now they feel pain every time they fantasise. If it was so easy, we’d all be straight.

    • Anonymous January 15, 2014 at 9:31 pm

      Lol. I was born in Nigeria. I lived there for the first twenty five years of my life. I was a devout born-again Christian. Spirit-filled, tongue-talking, danfo-preaching kind. I had hunger and fire for God from a young age like most didn’t. I didn’t deep my hands in sin. Yet I was plagued.

      From the age of 12, I started to feel attracted to other boys. For The next fifteen years I fought it as hard as I could. Fasting and praying repeatedly, even starvation. You won’t believe how many deliverance processes I undertook to ‘cast out my homosexual demons’. It got to a point I started moving from church to church like a woman looking for a child or someone who’s child was about to die.

      Then I took to American ministries. Exodus International was my best friend. I took online gay-conversion courses, read books by acclaimed ‘ex-gay’ ministers. I joined message boards, even joined a scheme where I was given an ex-gay mentor to help in my journey. The most any of those things worked were probably a few days (when I was freshly exhausted from any of those deliverance activities and too tired to even think of anything). I came out of each one as gay as I had ever been. Those unwanted feelins weren’t going anywhere!

      I currently live in the United States. I have been here for a few years. I have a fiance who only loves one person more than me – God. I have experienced God in new ways like never before. I understand that He loves me just the way He made me and He wants me to glorify Him with my life. My fiance and I are getting married this year. We are both on fire for God. We’ve both been hurt by our backgrounds and so-called Christians. We’ve both healed. We are both children of God. Sons of God. We are gay.

      All those years, all that sorrow and energy spent, all the money my parents spent trying to ‘cure’ me.

      • whocares January 16, 2014 at 12:04 am

        Your story made me smile.. I am glad you found peace.xxx

  • Iyke January 15, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    As I reflect on this Bill that was passed, my heart goes out to EMEKA(Not real name) my classmate, who happened to be GAY. I can imagine the pains that he is going through, having to deal with something that is stronger than he is, and a family,society that actually have no idea the torture that this young man is going through.
    EMEKA, you are my friend and I share in your pains.
    This ODE is for you:
    *YOU came over the last hill, and finally saw below YOU, the fabled lake.
    *As YOU stopped at the forest edge, a strange feeling came over YOU, as if YOU were being watched……
    *’Who’s there?…….YOU shouted.
    *Were the stories you’d heard about this place really true?
    *’Who’s there!’ replied the echo.
    *Below YOU, the lake, as calm all over as the sky itself, was still as a picture. YOU stood to take it all in, not realizing that
    YOUR ADVENTURE had already begun…..
    Dear EMEKA, if THEY laugh at or hate you because you’re different, that is when YOU laugh back at them because they’re all the same!
    Be different, be unique, BE YOU!!!

  • Nko January 15, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Having read a lot of comments about homosexuality on this forum I have decided to now give my own opinion. I don’t support gay marriage but I think we as Nigerians are being hypocrites to think that by not legalizing it, we are somehow protecting our children or society from being influenced by the western culture. Please that is a great misconception. We live in a globalised world. A movie released in the US today will be available tomorrow in Nigeria, music videos, book etc are all available to both the young and the old today. If a child watches a movie in which homosexuality is portrayed to be ok and normal trust me that Childs mind will be made up. How have we been able to change the way we talk, what we wear, type of hair, skin tone, and choice of music over the years? Through exposure to the western world so lets not deceive ourselves. I must agree we are not ready as Nigerians to accept this as are norm however it has come to stay weather we like it or not and our children will one way or the other gets exposed to it. All we have to do as Christian parents is to pray very hard that they chose the path of righteousness. This law I think will make very little difference. And how do u prove in court that someone is Gay anyway?

  • Sunshine January 15, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    Ok!!! I am very tolerant, have gay friends here in the UK and believe in live and lets live. Yes, we as a country have more pressing issues but the anti gay ban is a step in the right direction. 1. We as humans need limit and boundary setting otherwise, it is unthinkable what we are capable of attempting. What next? Bestiality ? 2. I have gay friends and believe me, a good number of them are as twisted as it gets. I dont know if its because they perceive themselves different from others, their relationships as a bit self destructive and manipulative to say the least. 3. A good number of them are bisexual…..chuffing swinging both ways which i consider extremely unhealthy. 4. The link between homosexuality, bestiality, anal bleed and HIV has a very bad taste in my mouth. 5. I majored in sexual health and discovered that the very 1st acknowledged gay person in the US later attributed his gay tendencies to mental issues. He lived a troubled life but eventually found himself and died heterosexual. 6. How come homosexuality is on the rise now when the world is on a fast lane to doom. How come it wasn’t that common in our father’s and grand father’s days when men were men. This leads me nicely to my last point. 6. I am not religious but very Godly and spiritual. From the word God made it perfect but with the help of satan we always want to make the wrong choices.

  • Sunshine January 15, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    Pls forgive typo error……..

  • nomad January 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    Well said. I’ve been dismayed to read the virulent comments on this and other blogs but I cannot stop because anew, I’m sick of the hypocrisy in Nigeria. Sick of the stifling nature where Nigerians scream about injustice abroad but are the greatest perpetrators of injustices here.

    Please take a walk in any gay man or woman’s shoes and see things from their perspective. Do you think that they actually will choose a life or lifestyle where they can be beaten to death, discriminated against openly and told they are going to hell by sanctimonious fellow Nigerians who do not believe that their corruption, cheating, stealing will not land them in the same hell.

    This country where an armed robber openly says that God has blessed him for a windfall of 45 million naira stolen from hard working people and nobody finds that hypocritical.

    Gay men and women have existed in Nigeria from time immemorial. Look at history for innumerable references to homosexuals in culture. Yes, African culture. Homosexuals were not imported from the West, religion was.

    And to the inevitable Bible-thumper, I will say that I believe in God’s love for all creatures. I believe that all humans should aspire to do no harm to his fellow humans. I find it ironic that a country where Jesus’s message (or variations thereof) is preached in all nooks and corners conspicuously lacks love, an ideal that all humans should hope for.

    Thank you, I hope you find peace.

  • uju January 15, 2014 at 1:12 pm

    now this is a very very spiky path to tread. i admire this guy’s gut, i really do…and i should be moved with empathy for your brother. But i’m not. We were all born equal…we all are who we are based on the decisions we made which in turn were influenced by the things/people we were exposed to. He made his decision, and now the govt has made theirs. we all have freewill here on this earth but outside God,we suffer the consequences of them all. while i dont hate the actor but the act of homosexuality i totally think the ban should stay. there has to be a law against this abeg else people will cast off restraints. Yes this act has been here for eons!! Yet it was one of the reasons God had to destroy Sodom. i totally believe it shouldnt be tolerated on any level…#my2kobothoughts#

  • amirah January 15, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Its write ups like this that make a lot of weak. Minded people start to think that homosexuality is ok. And the media is not helping the matter at all. This is a very unnatural and unGodly act. No one was born to be gay by God. God knew what He was doing when He created Adam and Eve and not adam and adam or eve and eve,so no one can ever convince meand no one shud ever allow themselves to be fooled into feeling pity for these people coz as far as I am concerned they do not fear God and they are Godless. We are not a nation of scientists,we believe in the existence of man as a work of God Almighty. I cannot pity or be fooled into pitying anyone that had chosen to allow the devil control his/her mind.

    • Chinagorom Martin January 19, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      Really? You sound too shallow to know what God could or could not do.

  • Thatgidigirl January 15, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Our leaders act like there’s a hotter part of hell for homosexuals than thieves (which they are), fornicators, adulterers etc

    • Ada Nnewi January 15, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      Absolutely love your comment!

    • Pelumi January 22, 2014 at 2:56 am

      ON POINT!!!!!! PREACH SISTER PREACH!!!! Abeg tell them o! Hell has one temperature for everyone!

  • www.thelmathinks.blogspot.com January 15, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Oh Lord, if I hear this God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve one more time I’m going to hang somebody! We are all entitled to our opinions but let’s not easily condemn something because we do not understand it. How do you explain being attracted to members of your own sex even from as little as seven or eight (yes, there’s already sexual attraction then!) or those who were molested at a tender age before they knew anything about anything? I’m very close to someone who from age four was molested by the house girl and was already having sexual intercourse, (oral, fingering, fisting, fondling etc) with said house help and this went on for years. Any surprise that this child of yesterday is a lesbian today? There are so many reasons people are gay. I am not and pray none of my children would be but guess what, God loves us ALL, so who am I to hate a homosexual. Sweethearts we are ALL sinners, some of us just sin differently.
    I also don’t understand why people associate homosexuality with bestiality and paedophilia, they’re totally different.
    And to the person asking why it’s suddenly rampant, it has always been there. Eg Sodom and Gomorrah. The internet and social media just brings so much to light.

    • Naveah January 16, 2014 at 8:30 pm

      you didn’t hear the one that Charles Novia made up? God didn’t create Adam and Steve OR Eve and GENEVIEVE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMAOOOOOOOOOOO I almost busted my gut laughinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng choi Chineke Nigerians will not kill me for my mother o

  • tobi amokeodo January 15, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Marijuana is also illegal yet I can buy one wrap for 5naira( minus the rizzler)down my street.
    This law is crappy because it doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t address anything.
    I’ll like you guys to help me out here!
    My questions:
    1. Are ppl born gay. Is it scientific or medical.
    2. Are homosexual people emotionally attracted to other men or women, or it is just a sexual thing.
    3. Can past experiences in relationships make people gay. As per “I’m tired of guys, they have to much wahala, I think I want to now date women because of this reasons”
    4. Can early sexual orientation of kids solve any issues
    I have worked in the health sector and I have interacted with gay patients. Do you realize that some of them think that gay sex is safer. that only heterosexual people can contract the virus. Do you know that many gay men and women live double lives. Some of them have kids.
    There’s going to be a public health catastrophe soon, trust me.

  • Oluwaseyi January 15, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    Hmmmmm……a sin is a sin is a sin is a sin!!!

  • uju January 15, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    abeg abg abeg abeg….saying some people are born gay is just down right insulting to God.. NOBODY and i repeat NOBODY is and will ever be born gay… we make our choices..life or death…choose life. a child was molested as a child…sad,a pity…but the child has a choice to make as he or she grows into maturity…there are things we cant explain,like how a woman can be attracted to a fellow woman but we can choose not to go that path, the bible is there to keep us straight in our thinking. now i dont mind having gays in my world and keeping them as friends but make no mistake, i will not and will never tolerate the act…its a distasteful abomination and i hate the act but not the actor… i advice strongly that we adopt the same mindset and pray for these ones,as many of them that we know personally. its our responsibility.

  • Livie January 15, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    How does anyone become gay?I don’t get it. I never will get it. I agree gays are still human and entitled to live life. But I’m an alien and where I come from, being gay doesn’t make sense! Period! Y
    Plus I thought the word “gay” used to mean “happy”when I was in elementary school?

  • Amrah January 15, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    The gay community and all the sympathizers should understand that getting the whole universe and all the beings in it to support/tolerate their lifestle wont stop homosexuality from being a sin God destroyed a whole civilization for engaging themselves in. We r all woefully unqualified to judge them, but they should do themselves a favor and consider the fact that God will still judge that choice they have made, for it is a choice.

  • Daniel January 15, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Since gay people outnumber Nigeria and can get rid of Nigeria using current technology, Nigeria has given them no reason not to. By voting away other people’s human rights, Nigeria has voted away protection of its own. Nigeria will be remembered in the history books as the nation that vanished from its own hate. I think the Nazi thought they would gloriously be around for a thousand years and now they are dust from violating the human rights of so many human beings. Were no lessons learned as technology continued to advance?

  • bimpe January 15, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    i feel for you martin, i have gay friends as well and they get bullied by asians lol. me and my gay friends laugh about it because it is completely unnecessary to be insulted because of your sexual orientation so we just laugh it off. anyway i would like to know, there is a difference with enjoying the gay way of sex and being in love with a man. i feel a lot whole of gay people are not in love with the men but just enjoy the sex, i feel there need to be a distinction in that area in doing so our governments will realise something. everyone seems to be including gay marriage to gay relationship or their way of the having sex, there is however a difference with this. i feel africa should permit gay relationship and should avoid gay marriages if they wish, you cant possibly choose a persons lifestyle for them. furthermore, i am also very scared that legalising gay marriage and other stuff could be a ‘GATEWAY’ to a whole new abomination being committed, (like weed opening a gate way for drugs. a person that smokes weed is prone to doing going deeper into drugs) being gay has already opened way for transgenders and all, no offence but i feel in the next few years some people will feel the need to rally about a sexual relationship between a brother and sister being legalise. i feel it is a huge gateway towards a lot of appalled things being commited and people wanting it in the name of equality. these are my fears, not sure about anyone else

    • lorenz January 15, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      Who told u a person that smokes weed is prone to deeper drugs? What sort of mumu analysis is that? Has the fact that weed is illegal made it any less popular? How do u know that legalizing homosexual relationships would open a flood gate of abominations. If you are not gay, then you are not, whether legal or illegal. And yes, i smoke weed, and i have never tried any other drug. I dont even drink. Do ur research before u come and start making crude conclusions.

      • bimpe January 16, 2014 at 2:56 am

        You are obviously been ignorant. You font even have full info on what you inhale, its Wikipedia, full research. Weed and cannabis are gateways. Try typing gateway drugs online hun. Do be careful you might end up the wrong way. And hunny calm your stress level it was only an example, if you just knowing weed is a gateway to other drugs. Ciao

  • riley January 15, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    God is love. If we practised it and tried to understand or ask questions instead of hating and attacking life would be wonderful. Gay or straight if someone is not hurting anyone and they are living their life and doing good then that’s all I want.

  • Love me Love me January 15, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    This is interesting. why is your private sexual predilection with another consenting adult a source for public debate? Why are people being beaten over the head because they refuse to be dragged into your personal lives?

  • Law January 15, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Well as far as i know..back in the days when I was in medical school ( 35 years ago…mind you not in Nigeria), we were told that homosexuals are sexual deviants with mental issues that should be treated.. now its called sexual preferences….without being Godly or religious, most Gays I know with very few exceptions, have this deep feeling they are not doing the right thing! so what are we talking about here for goodness sake!! it is not in my place to call it sin or not..hell, lying is a sin! All I know is that the western world has promoted and accepted some state of mental imbalance as normal, but we as Africans or Nigerians will find it extremely difficult to accept such. We are too bounded by culture if not anything else. All those of you running your mouths to condemn the president how would you feel is your son,daughter,sister,brother or husband turns out to be actually Gay..I bet your voices will fade after wondering what kind of mental help he/she may need.. I rest my case

  • Chum chum January 15, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    There are born criminals, there are born lairs, there are even born rapists so we should let them be because they are all this abi? please that they are born with it does not make it right please. Gay is wrong please don’t get it twisted.

  • mabel January 15, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    If it is legal in the middle east , then the muslim gays can move there while the christian gays can move to Europe and the USA. They will grant them asylum. My honest opinion.

  • Steven January 15, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    Gay and lesbians in Nigeria are also our brothers and sisters. Decades of research in science and mental health have proven that being gay or lesbian is natural, not changeble, and not harmful. What is harmful is laws that imprison and kill those who naturally seek someone of the same gender to love and form a committed relationship. It is a disgrace that instead of uplifting all love and relationships some want to use religion and hatred to condemn, persecute, and kill those who are born different. When did you choose to be straight? You never did, and neither did the gay people you are forcing to live dishonest, scarred lives.

  • Blaqgurlrock January 15, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Please do not be deceived NO ONE was born or can ever be born gay, human beings are just naturally perverted. It is clear in biology the function of the anus is to excrete undigested food from our body , it is not an entrance for anything. I cannot get my head round the fact that with all our technological advancement we choose to believe that it’s normal to be gay. Do you know that now there are genderqueers, bigender, neutrois, androgin and only God knows what, please do not force normal ppl to accept that these things are normal cos they are not. Believe me, we all have our vices but please stop using English to defend your perverted nature, we ain’t buying it.

    • GOLDIE January 15, 2014 at 10:37 pm

      I’m inclined to take the stance of not making judgements on people’s sexuality and keeping my mouth closed on the matter however this comment is the one I must agree with the most…But only as my opinion is free to share here. I do not believe it’s natural. My physiology teacher was brave enough to point that out, she’s a white female professor. She did not state it in a judgemental way, she stated is matter-of -factly. Something that does not contribute to the procreation of humans-the sole instinctual behaviour of humans to preserve and foster life? something that damages your natural physiology? How natural is it to where tampons up your rear end…sorry to sound crass this is what many men end up having to do when the damage the muscles in that area and can no longer hold things in. I sound judgmental, that is not my aim but Can’t we question this at least? I’m sorry…actually no, i’m not sorry but BN has really come across as biased on this issue. Though one thing is obvious passing particular laws and preaching about it won’t make it any less so. It’s what the world is now. Some of the content of the ‘letter’ are quite ridiculous….sorry did the writer say ‘Thank the Lord for the internet’? I have to assume that was sarcasm…I really can’t imagine the internet was the Lords creation…not at all.

  • erica January 15, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    Hello Amirah (I love your name). I’m not gay. I don’t agree with the actions. However, I’m a Christian. If Christians round the world understood the core foundation of Christianity, there will be less chaos. The core foundation of Christianity is LOVE. Love your neighbour as yourself. Jesus said, if anyman has every thing including faith but doesn’t have love, He isn’t the son of God. Love means u don’t have to be perfect but I accept you as you are. It means you don’t have to do the right things, but I accept you as you are. When the adulterous woman was to be stoned, it was Christ who stepped in for her. He said, let him who is without sin, cast the first stone”. And guess what, they all disappeared.

    The bible was also clear on judging others. God said, leave the judgment for me. Remove the speck from your eye (speck is sooooooo tiny) before you remove the log from your brothers eyes (log is sooooo big). Meaning no matter how big someone else’s shortcomings may be, deal with your own first.

    God was clear about sin. In His eyes, sin is sin. In God’s eyes, a person who says on the phone, I’m on my way, there’s traffic, and is sleeping on their bed has committed the same sin as someone who murders another. God doesn’t grade sin, we do. In as much as God loves us, He gave us free will. Even Salvation, the best gift ever isn’t free. Its all up to you to choose what you want. If God can give us the liberty to do what we want to do with the understanding that you bear the consequences, why then should we stop people from their own freewill? Its them that will bear the consequences of their actions.

    Been gay has nothing to do with poverty (which 70 percent of Nigerian are facing), maternal and child mortality, bribery and corruption. These are the issues our government should be focusing on as they directly affect us as a country. I don’t understand how two men or two women making love the way they want to put food on the table of poor people, or prevent boko haram from bombing schools and churches. These ones are social issues. Been gay is not. We should seriously be addressing adultery and fornication too as those are sins in God’s eyes as well. Since we are so religious, and like to punish people for doing what God says they shouldn’t do, then

    - we should start arresting married men and women that cheat on their spouses. GUILTY OF ADULTERY. Our politicians will take the lead on this one in jail
    - we should arrest and imprison all those single boys and girls that are doing the do outside marriage. GUILTY OF FORNICATION. Abi they don’t know their body is the temple of God? Both the adulterers and fornicators have helped with the spread of HIV. They need to be arrested.
    - we should arrest people that gossip. They are guilty of SLANDER. Its a sin too and should be punishable.
    - they should arrest our leaders who misuse public funds, they are guilty of THEFT

    The list goes on and on. Nigeria just wants to feel and act very religious. Like we love God the most. Yet we can’t even treat our maids and security men with dignity and respect, or don’t you see in the bible where God says he who maltreats the poor, he will turn his face away from that person in the day of adversity.

    There are tons of things the government should be addressing, GAY isn’t one of them!!!

  • Di January 15, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    I’ve read through all these comments. Many countries that have now legalized gay marriages went through what we’re going through now, and it only shows that we’re developing fast as a nation. I have given a lot of thought on homosexuality and even though I’m a medical doctor and a roman catholic, I’m more a student of life and philosophy. I think. The wrong notions people use to argue against homosexuality are that 1. It is unnatural, other animals don’t do it. Wrong. Research has shown same sex mating in most animals especially insects. 2. It is unnatural, God made Adam and Eve. Ok. So if I’m a Buddhist or sikhist who doesn’t follow the christian story of creation, I’m allowed to be gay? 3. It is not part of our culture (that was the argument of the Nigerian senate when the passed the anti-gay bill into law). Ok. Clothes made of cotton, mirrors, bibles, having women as our leaders, eating with cutlery, watching tv, formal education, mention more things were all not part of our culture but we allowed them in and we promote them.
    I have seen gay men and lesbians and they don’t look like us heterosexuals anatomically (that is the way their bodies are formed). They usually look like the opposite sex. Some people think it’s just in their mannerisms- dressing and all, but look closely. That means something is happening inside of them that they can’t control. Their hormones are tilting the other way. I’m talking about real gay people not all these follow follow girls. I had some in my secondary school and up till now they haven’t married men. They still look like men. I also thought it was a psychiatric issue but studies for centuries have shown no other strange behaviours or progression in disease that concludes it as a psychiatric problem and that’s why the American Psychiatry Association removed it from their books as a disorder. I think there are people who are born that way. Who are we then to throw Aki and Paw-paw into prison just because they’re so small and have smaller voices than their age mates?

  • annoymous January 15, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    I hv read wit so much rapt attention all dats bin said so far
    Thes r tins I know:
    No 1 likes to b unique in a “bad” way if they had a choice dey’d turn dat uniqueness in anoda direction
    Pple become paraphillic by 1 of 3 ways-its inate in dem,abuse durin childhood or dey were lured into it @ dia most vulnerable moments!
    1 tin every gay person agrees is-THIS FEELING JST DOESN’T GO NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY.trust me dey fight it get depressed cry n do evrytin in dia closet dt dey resort 2 fate.most of these guys r exceptionaly intelligent,record breakers,high fliers in dia variou sectors etc.so dey r nt totaly dumb as to ignore d dilemma dey r in.
    Nigerians are very hypocritical.every tongue waggin now is anti gay bt I tell u if only u knew d number of gay pple in nigeria u would b amazed.many pple r married jst for d show of it,divorce rates r on d increase too n we wuld neva realy know d true stories.many women here tink dia cheatin husbands r afta chicks or dia faithful husbands r saints.if only u knew watzup u wuld b shocked
    D entertainment industry oozes of homosexuality ,top pple in d country r mighty coded culprits
    Watz my point-d day we start to c all sins as sins n nt putin dem in cadres d beta 4 us all!
    I neva support d act,bt let evry1 wrk out his own salvation
    Let’s bother ourselves with hw we as individuals cn mk d ultimate goal of heaven,let’s love all n condem none even whilew e draw our diffrent boundaries
    Nigeria has many pressin issues.I wish dey channeld dis (legislators) energy dia!

  • Pd January 15, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    Well some people claim to be gay while they are not!! I have a frd that can f**k a gun turn up one day to be a lesbian …..pls babes na sugar mummy money attract to that line !! But you naija peeps can take this new law to the extreme!! Abeg make una no start lynching peeps over suspicions of them being gay!

  • Ib January 15, 2014 at 11:44 pm

    Hmmmm….Let us pray for Nigeria

  • Steven January 16, 2014 at 2:47 am

    Why are those with the most hatred and disgust for gay and lesbian people the most interested in their imagined sex lives? Homosexual, bisexual and transgender behaviors occur in a huge number of other animal species. Such behaviors include sexual activity, courtship, affection, pair bonding, and parenting, and are widespread; a 1999 review by researcher Bruce Bagemihl shows that homosexual behavior has been observed in close to 1500 species, ranging from primates to gut worms.

    The following scientific facts are also from Wikipedia:

    Same-sex sexual attractions, behavior, and orientations per se are normal and positive variants of human sexuality; in other words, they are not indicators of mental or developmental disorders.
    Homosexuality and bisexuality are stigmatized, and this stigma can have a variety of negative consequences (e.g., Minority Stress) throughout the life span (D’Augelli & Patterson, 1995; DiPlacido, 1998; Herek & Garnets, 2007; Meyer, 1995, 2003).
    Same-sex sexual attractions and behavior can occur in the context of a variety of sexual orientations and sexual orientation identities (Diamond, 2006; Hoburg et al., 2004; Rust, 1996; Savin-Williams, 2005).
    Gay men, lesbians, and bisexual individuals can live satisfying lives as well as form stable, committed relationships and families that are equivalent to heterosexual relationships in essential respects (APA, 2005c; Kurdek, 2001, 2003, 2004; Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007).
    There are no empirical studies or peer-reviewed research that support theories attributing same-sex sexual orientation to family dysfunction or trauma (Bell et al., 1981; Bene, 1965; Freund & Blanchard, 1983; Freund & Pinkava, 1961; Hooker, 1969; McCord et al., 1962; D. K. Peters & Cantrell, 1991; Siegelman, 1974, 1981; Townes et al., 1976).

    Instead of using your first reaction of disgust at those who are different to you to persecute a misunderstood minority, and then using religion to justify treating them as less than human, those who truly are followers of Jesus should try to understand and love their gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. Do onto others and you would have done onto you.

  • mabel January 16, 2014 at 5:52 am

    Why our lilly livered gay people did not go out and create an awareness about being gay like they did in Europe n Usa before the passage of this bill I fail to understand. This “I was born this way” must be normal for 84 sovereign nations to classify it as illegal. 60% of these nations are doing so well economically compared to Nigeria and they are bffs of the great Usa but no they will not allow Nigeria breathe. Remind me again, why didn’t LGBT(nigeria branch)educate the public before the passage of this bill?

  • Purpleicious Babe January 22, 2014 at 4:27 am

    N woman are praying, fasting etc for men . Kia.. lol.

    I didn’t read the whole article, I have a very vivid imagination lol o.Abeg.
    In all fairness, I don’t support the Nigerian Government system not because of this but because there are pending issues that great people like Ken Saro Wiwa died for and yet abject poverty is at the forefront of our system. Hypocrisy is at the heart of plenty of us and it is the innocent that suffers the most. My joy though would be to see justice served amongst plenty.
    That leaders that stole, kill and destroyed are brought to justice. Better infrastructure and better opportunities are offered in the health sector, education sector, finance, oil, tourism etc. Now that would be worth CELEBRATING. :) :) :). I am sure God would more happy with a news that seeks to elevate.

  • blessed January 22, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    absolutely…couldn’t agree more. thank you

  • blessed January 22, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    @blaggurlrock

  • Arin January 24, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    Excuse me o, I hope the world will be tolerant with me too when I say am having an affair with a married man, I can’t help it cause I love him so much? C’mon . Am not gonna cast a stone on anyone gay couple , which I think is a barbaric act, and am not gonna point a finger while the other four is pointing back at me but We should stop giving excuses for bad behavior and unnatural act.

  • balogun March 13, 2014 at 10:47 am

    can someone wake me up please? cant beleive this.

  • Uche Ugo March 13, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    This is the way I see it..I am a christian and I know homosexualism is wrong so I am going to do everything (praying, controlling what my children see while they are still under my roof) to ensure none of my kids become one. But I also know as a christian that God lets both the wicked and righteous enjoy His blessings (rain and sunshine, financial progress, etc). I also know that He has give us free will and that He sees the end from the beginning, so who am I to judge gays (as much as I hate the act) or to say they should be imprisoned? Was that prostitute who was about to be stoned to death not saved by Jesus? What kind of christianity devoid of love are we practising and covering it with quotes of ‘hating sin’? And as far as I am concerned, the government has a boundary where it’s power should stop. Yes, the courts (controlled by the govt) can be banned from marrying them I am actually for that one but sentencing them to imprisonment if they are caught is messing with their human rights. Let’s let them live because if we kill them, our prayers will not save or convert dead people. They have to ba alive to be saved or helped. Besides, are we ignorant of the fact that there is no functional justice system in Nigeria. Mobs can start killing gay people while our leaders who should be sentenced to death a long time ago are still stealing our money and impoverishing many. Police men with personal anti-gay opinions can kill them and not be brought to justice. Our leaders should get their priority right!!!!

  • Dickson March 14, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    Truth is no one would choose to be gay in a world that makes it so difficult to be one…..

  • Lets mind our own business March 16, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    Right or wrong, true or false, we have no right to force a human to make a decision he does not want to. IT IS THEIR LIFE!!!! If being gay is a sin, are u going to hell with them??? Our leaders have looted from us publicly for the past 50+ years and yet where is their 14 years in jail? Its 0nly in Nigeria that thieves, adulterers and fornicators will cast the first stone.

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