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Aunty Bella: Mrs. Rebound

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Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice as well.

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Good morning,
I just read Isio’s phone check two days ago not knowing it was going to happen to me so soon. I am a 33 year old married lady living in the UK. I love my husband so much and he says the same and we are happily married. It’s all laughter and happiness and we hardly fight or have any issues and do most things together. We married a little over two years ago and I had to relocate from Nigeria. My parents had a very horrible marriage and this made me give my marriage my all with my mantra being that I must be happy at all costs.

I have sacrificed a lot for my husband and I keep bending over backwards for him all the time in all areas you can think of financially and everything. To the main gist.I was applying for a job for him yesterday and I needed to send the application from his mail box and I woke him up to sign on for me. He did and went back to bed and after sending the application I went to his inbox and stumbled on a chat between him and his ex that he had saved in his email.

They broke up before we met and when they tried to mend fences he discovered she was pregnant for someone else and she said if he really loves he would accept her with the pregnancy and he said no and we met about a year after and dated for a year plus and got married. It goes this way they started by exchanging pleasantries and continued thus

Ex: How are u

Ex: How is your sister

Hubby: Fine thanks

Hubby: She is fine

Ex: She don marry

Hubby: Yes

Ex: Really

Ex: Who

Hubby: She had a baby recently

Ex: Really

Hubby: Last month

Ex: Good news

Hubby: Her school mate

Ex : Where does she live

Hubby: From oceanography

Ex:  Really

Hubby: Hendon

Ex: The same Place

Hubby: No

Ex: K

Hubby: Different place but still Hendon

Ex: Ok What about u

Hubby: How?

Ex: I miss u

Hubby: Ahh

Ex: Lol

Hubby: I missed you too

Ex: U should have married me

Hubby: Yes you didn’t stay with me

Ex: I did I really loved u then

Hubby : Me too

Ex: But did not understand you . U just changed

Ex: Where do u live

Hubby: But we allowed external forces to come between us

Ex: I know

Hubby: How did you not understand me

Ex: Now am married don’t love my husband

Ex: Lol

Hubby: ?

Ex: Lol

Hubby: I m so sorry

Ex: It’s ok

Ex: I wanted then,When I had my baby,But u did not want me anymore,Where do u live,I loved you with all my heart

Ex: Where do u live

Hubby: It was hard for me then

Ex: Why, Do you still want me now

Ex: Lol

Hubby: Still had feelings for you but things had changed

Ex: Really how

Hubby: Wish I could change the hands of time, I m married now

Ex: Me too,Really,Lol,U joking,Who

Ex: When

Hubby: School mate from Unilorin

Ex: Really,Congratulation

Hubby: Oh thanks

Ex: Do u love her, Send me her picture

Hubby: After some time after we broke up my friend said I couldn’t remain that way and I was really hurt after you left & missed you so much

Ex: Broke up from who

Ex: Really

Ex: I never left u left me

Ex: Who broke up with me

Hubby: it was then I really knew how much I loved you but you were pregnant

Ex: Really

Hubby: I didn’t leave you

Hubby: You just decided to shi mi Le

Ex: I still love u

Ex: Lol

Ex: No way u did

Hubby: So it was that our mutual friend that introduced us from unilorin

Hubby: she was even in Nigeria then

Hubby: & you know before person knows it family etc start putting pressure on one say go marry etc
Hubby: I know my family were not good to you

Hubby: Most especially my sister that you even knew

Hubby: So I don’t entirely blame you for your actions back then

Hubby: Are you still there?

That was how the conversation ended. I feel so shocked and betrayed and cried my eyes out yesterday and am still so disappointed that he could be telling an ex that they were supposed to marry each other and wish he could turn back the hands of the clock.

I feel so hurt that I wish I could lash out in a way that would really hurt him. This is someone that I practically do everything for. I couldn’t even continue the other job applications yesterday I had to shut down the computer after sending the first one.

I feel like confronting him but he has some issues at work at the moment and I am waiting till Monday after he faces the panel to confront him. This is someone that I cannot even list the kind of value I brought to his life and he knows too and he’s there wishing he could turn back the hands of the clock. We are about buying a property and I will tell him I’m not interested anymore and we should just do things solo since he can turn back the hands of the clock anytime. I am just babbling as I’m still in shock and do not really know what to say anymore.

Please can you tell me maybe I am the one over reacting and reading more meanings than intended into the chat by asking BN readers what they feel.

Photo Credit: footage.shutterstock.com

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