#BN2015Epilogues: For Florence, It Was A Difficult 12 Months But She Trusted God’s Love

Last year BellaNaija Features put together an inspiring feature series to round off the year. The 2014 Epilogues featured 10 real people who took an introspective look at their year and wrote about it. This year, we decided to make the call public to our readers. {Click here if you missed it} It is our hope and desire that we will have enough entries to have a story up every day from the 1st to the 31st of December. We have received an impressive number of entries and we hope that you will share yours with us.

We kicked off the series and so far we’ve had the following entries: Jennifer G , Morountodun , Victory, Mayowa ,  Harmony ,Dekky , OJ , Busola , Modupe, The Prodigal Daughter , Adetola, Ayomikun , Omami Jojo , Kehinde , Iember and Hadiza.

We have had an overwhelming response to the call for Epilogues and we’re grateful to everyone who has sent in an entry. We will do our best to share every story we received before the deadline (even if it runs into the new year. Because BellaNaijarians are so awesome!) Today we’re sharing Florence‘s story, and anybody who knows how difficult it is to deal with crippling school work will definitely relate to this.

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My 2015’s story will be totally incomplete without a quick recap of 2014.
Towards the end of 2014, I made 2 important decisions; the first was to apply for a master’s degree even though I was few exams shy of completing my bachelor’s degree. My application was evaluated& I was admitted “unofficially” so it meant that I had time until March/April 2015 to complete my BSc & finish my application ( i.e pay tuition& send all the necessary documents). The second was to leave my pretty comfortable life& move to a new city.

Enter January: After working soooooooo hard, I realized I couldn’t meet the deadline for my master’s degree because of a problem I had with one of my exams & that also meant that I was going to get an extra year in uni. That day, something inside me stopped breathing.

Enter February: Many tears. I was finally able to successfully pass my “goliath” exam

Enter March: I was exhausted physically & emotionally so I pretty much slept it out . Thank God for my wonderful housemate who encouraged me to get up & try to move on with the completion of the remaining exams.

Enter April: I got a craaaaazy job & I studied for the most part.

Enter May: I just studied like crazy. I needed to finish.

Enter June: Exam sessions…I shut out all emotions& I was able to successfully pass with ease another “evil”exam.

Enter July: Just kept studying, writing exams& my final thesis. I was pretty excited at this point but boom..the person I had been seeing for a couple of years, my best friend & the only emotional support I had at the time, decided it was best to move on. Something else inside me died that day.
P.s: I have a family, friends and people I trust, but when I’m in the middle of a storm, the last thing I want is to talk or have people “hover” over me.

Enter August: I was home alone because my housemate had traveled for the summer& I didn’t want to go home (you remember what I said about the “hoverers” hovering..lol). I was such a difficult moment which was strange because I usually recover from breakups quickly. I guess it was because it happened in my moment of vulnerability.
I prayed, fasted, cried, read the Bible, books, watched hours of TV. (another strange thing because I usually cannot watch TV for long…it has a “dummifying” effect on me) and I drank litres of cold coffee. I was basically depressed.

Enter September: I went back to school ready to finish& just get it over with. My very first exam flopped due to an error that was beyond incredible. I went to the bathroom & cried my eyes out. It just didn’t feel right. I felt like God had abandoned me because even circumstances seemed to work against me. The same happened with subsequent exams.
I just plunged right into depression. It was bad. My parents had to come & take me home.

Enter October: Everyone was afraid for me including me. I saw an happy, enthusiastic, fun-loving person turn into something else. That scared me. I couldn’t sleep & when I slept, it became difficult to wake up. I feared that one day, nobody would be able to get me out of bed, so I decided to start sleeping on the living room sofa.

Enter November & December: It’s been an everyday struggle to stay afloat. I still sleep on the sofa ( I actually like it..lol). I’m slowly coming back to myself& on the dark days, I cry if needed & move on. A lot of introspection has been going on & I’m actually working on a business idea.

I’m also looking for an apartment..I feel ready to go back to living on my own. I hope to complete school sometime next year & get a job or an internship in the meantime.

What I’m grateful for: The year didn’t go as I planned. It went completely south but it has made me stronger& more resolved to live& not just exist.

I know God loves me & that everything will eventually work out for my good.
I learnt the meaning of calculated risks.
I’ve also come to fully appreciate the importance of my family& support circle.
Home is not a building, it’s people.

Thank you all for reading my epistle…lol & a big thank you to the BellaNaija crew for the opportunity.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Monkey Business Images