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William Ifeanyi Moore: The Lagos Girl Delusion

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dreamstime_l_899283WARNING: I woke up feeling rather confrontational today. Carry on at your peril ladies 🙂

After reading an article on the 8 types of guys you see in Lagos, which I could have summed in three.

  1. Has parents’ money and treats you like crap
  2. Struggling and wants to split the bills
  3. Broke and feeds off you

I couldn’t help but notice a pattern; it appeared women only define men relative to our financial situation. But even more disturbingly, the article reeked with a sense of entitlement I didn’t believe existed in a post-feminist Lagos.

It has to be said; a lot of younger Lagos girls have absolutely no clue on how to even rate the caliber a man belongs to. And it doesn’t help that the addiction to fantasy is compounding the issue. You see a boy driving around in an SLS Mercedes at 27. What do you think? Like seriously? There is maybe a population of 0.01% self-made boys at that age able to afford such luxury. And even for the ones that can, they would rather reinvest the money. Yet, a girl would somehow brand this boy ‘rich’ as if we need a crystal ball to tell us he is balling on parental income. And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with children spending their parents’ money, but if you are a girl and you find such wealth attractive without investigating how industrious the guy is independently, you really have no right to complain about the guy’s laziness after you have indulged in the wealth.

And when it comes to commitment, what are the chances that a guy so young and so attractive in a city where women have clearly developed an appetite for fine things will be in the mood to settle? Yet, day in day out women sign up to these guys then end up ranting about Yoruba demons…really? And oh, the Dutch master. People let us be realistic. The average salary earner in Lagos is making do with 200-250k a month. From this money I am supposed to pay rent, feed myself, run my car, top up my phone and take you out on a N20,000 date? That’s 10% of a brother’s pay, at two dates a month a guy will be spending 20% of his cash on dates. My friend you better pay for your half if you don’t want a Chicken Republic date. What do you think this is, charity?

The bitter truth of the matter is that this city is as hard for women as it is for men when it comes to finance. Chivalry! I hear you scream? Great, well while we are at it, how about we also make sure all the conditions in Imperial England and pre-fifties America come along too?

So women can stop working, freeing up employment options for men that will afford us bigger pay to take you out to dinner with. And when I come to your house I better smell something fresh in the pot, takeaway will not cut it!

Any man will tell you that for the most part, a woman’s money is only a fail-safe for men. If we could afford it, there will be no need for you to ever bring out a penny. Men really don’t mind spending on women in general. The same cannot be said for women. But at the rate oil prices are falling and the dollar is rising, ladies y’all would need to be making a better effort at contributing and not bank-shamming men for not being Dangote.

In the comment now somebody will say ‘this William IFEANYI Moore stingy, Igbo boy’. Yes oh, to you I say if you want a free ride, date older men that are already established. Don’t come here looking at young boys and expecting us to compete with your sugar daddy.

I have talk my own.

P.S And yes, men have souls too; sometimes we want to be spoiled. Na as dey take born you dey born us too.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

William Ifeanyi Moore is an MPharm graduate from the University of Portsmouth, UK. His true passion is in novels and poetry but he cheats on them with movies, plays, and music. He believes sacrifice and compromise is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. His debut novel Lonely Roads is out on 10/12/2015. Blog: www.soulsyrup.space Twitter: @willifmoore Instagram: willifmoore

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