Moving somewhere else, enrolling into a different school, or socializing with a new crowd are common examples of times whereby we often feel the need to alter our own true identities, just to ‘fit in’ and ‘belong’.
Truth be told, the concept of altering your personality to feel accepted can be somewhat satisfying. People will love you, people will accept you, and you will ‘think’ you finally have a place where you can settle down and call home. As comforting as this can be, the truth of the matter is – Any place, or relationship, or environment in which you feel like you have to change who you are just to fit in, is not where you belong.
A majority of the youth have transformed into completely different people, adopted heavily conflicting lifestyles and behaved in very deplorable ways, all for the sake of “being wanted” and “feeling amongst”. Many of us have failed to embrace our true identities because we live in fear of not being accepted by a group of people or particular environment. This is called a lack of self-love and understanding.
You must remember that no matter where you are, who you know and what you do; You are enough, and you will always be.
If you truly belong somewhere, you will never feel driven to go against your own morals and values just to feel accepted. You will never have to prove yourself or beg for attention. You will never have to go out of your way to ‘stay relevant’. You will be yourself, and your surroundings will welcome you in the warmest way possible – because that is where you are meant be.
This concept is applicable in relationships, too. If you really belong to someone, you will never need to act a certain way in order for him or her to love and respect you, neither will you ever go against your own morals just to maintain that friendship. Set a standard for yourself today and decide that whoever will accept you, must accept you entirely. There are no in-betweens; there are no subtractions or additions. You come in a full package and every facet of yourself must be embraced, because you are enough.
If you ever notice that your personality is being altered for the sake of recognition, understand that you’re in the wrong place and move on. Each and everyone of us has an environment that we belong in, friends we’re meant to keep, a job we’re meant to have and a life we’re meant to live. Never, for one second, think you should change who you are or prove yourself to attain any of these things. Life is not a job application where you are meant to meet certain requirements to be accepted, so go into the world being YOU and watch the right people come to you.
What I want everyone to take away from this post is – do not give anyone the power to change you. Do not let anyone coerce you into becoming who you are not, and do not allow anyone tell you that you are not enough. You don’t owe anybody anything; certainly not a change of lifestyle, morals or principles for the sake of acknowledgement.
Ask yourself – are you putting on a façade just to feel accepted? Do you have to go in contradiction of your values just to please someone? Have you changed your way of life, for the sake of recognition? Discover your true identity now and stick to it.
It may take years to finally be where you are meant to be; but it will be worth it because you were never created to settle for less. Whoever will love you, must love you for who you are – because you are enough.
Photo Credit: Foto.com.ng | Nsoedo Frank