Akachukwu Nwosu: You are Enough

Enough-1There are many situations in life whereby we feel like we have to change who we are to adapt. I’ve been there myself; we probably all have.

Moving somewhere else, enrolling into a different school, or socializing with a new crowd are common examples of times whereby we often feel the need to alter our own true identities, just to ‘fit in’ and ‘belong’.

Truth be told, the concept of altering your personality to feel accepted can be somewhat satisfying. People will love you, people will accept you, and you will ‘think’ you finally have a place where you can settle down and call home. As comforting as this can be, the truth of the matter is – Any place, or relationship, or environment in which you feel like you have to change who you are just to fit in, is not where you belong.

A majority of the youth have transformed into completely different people, adopted heavily conflicting lifestyles and behaved in very deplorable ways, all for the sake of “being wanted” and “feeling amongst”. Many of us have failed to embrace our true identities because we live in fear of not being accepted by a group of people or particular environment. This is called a lack of self-love and understanding.

You must remember that no matter where you are, who you know and what you do; You are enough, and you will always be.
If you truly belong somewhere, you will never feel driven to go against your own morals and values just to feel accepted. You will never have to prove yourself or beg for attention. You will never have to go out of your way to ‘stay relevant’. You will be yourself, and your surroundings will welcome you in the warmest way possible – because that is where you are meant be.

This concept is applicable in relationships, too. If you really belong to someone, you will never need to act a certain way in order for him or her to love and respect you, neither will you ever go against your own morals just to maintain that friendship. Set a standard for yourself today and decide that whoever will accept you, must accept you entirely. There are no in-betweens; there are no subtractions or additions. You come in a full package and every facet of yourself must be embraced, because you are enough.

If you ever notice that your personality is being altered for the sake of recognition, understand that you’re in the wrong place and move on. Each and everyone of us has an environment that we belong in, friends we’re meant to keep, a job we’re meant to have and a life we’re meant to live. Never, for one second, think you should change who you are or prove yourself to attain any of these things. Life is not a job application where you are meant to meet certain requirements to be accepted, so go into the world being YOU and watch the right people come to you.
What I want everyone to take away from this post is – do not give anyone the power to change you. Do not let anyone coerce you into becoming who you are not, and do not allow anyone tell you that you are not enough. You don’t owe anybody anything; certainly not a change of lifestyle, morals or principles for the sake of acknowledgement.

Ask yourself – are you putting on a façade just to feel accepted? Do you have to go in contradiction of your values just to please someone? Have you changed your way of life, for the sake of recognition? Discover your true identity now and stick to it.
It may take years to finally be where you are meant to be; but it will be worth it because you were never created to settle for less. Whoever will love you, must love you for who you are – because you are enough.

Photo Credit: Foto.com.ng | Nsoedo Frank

23 Comments on Akachukwu Nwosu: You are Enough
  • A Real Nigerian March 27, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    Go on Nigerian social media. Virtually everyone there is sucking up to one mainstream thingy or another just for attention and acceptance.
    It is quite disgusting.

    • Baby oku March 28, 2016 at 7:54 am

      And here is a typical response from a miserable Nigerian who sees everything from a miserable lens. Look for something else hun, you are on the wrong page!

  • Kiiki March 27, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks a lot Akachukwu! Needed to read this. ????

    I am currently in a city where greeting your elders, going to Church, or saying “sorry” when someone hurts him(her)self is seen as odd/ weird. The feeling is mutual because as a true Nigerian, not doing any of the above is strange. I was brought up to be respectful, religious, altruistic etc. So, I’m not stopping any of the above for anyone.?????

    We, the world over, live in a society where we seek constant validation from people that have no say in our existence. Rather than spending our time being positive influences to the younger ones, we are more focused on being ‘pretentious’ in a bid to be accepted.

    We are blind to this simple fact;-these people, these supposed ‘gods’ who have made you forget how beautiful, worthy, prayerful, intelligent, smart, disciplined and exceptional you are, DO NOT MATTER. Because, You are enough to make the world your happy place; Your comfort zone; Your own.

    And like Akachukwu said, “Do not give anyone the power to change you. Do not let anyone coerce you into becoming who you are not, and do not allow anyone tell you that you are not enough. You don’t owe anybody anything; certainly not a change of lifestyle, morals or principles for the sake of acknowledgement.”

  • ROI March 27, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    This is motivating

  • GraceOfGOD March 27, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    @ Akachukwu Nwosu

    Good evening Madam, GREAT POST, from the BOTTOM of my heart I want to say THANK YOU. I am more than ENOUGH. Stay blessed and HAPPY EASTER 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • iam March 27, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    Great article. Thank you!

  • T March 27, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    I actually laughed out loud when I saw this.It couldn’t have come at a better time. Please,allow me to share this…At a friend’s traditional marriage ceremony today…I found myself thinking some unhealthy thoughts. “I don’t have much friends…will there be a large turnout for my wedding like this?”…”do I even have friends that’ll want to buy aso-ebi if I decide I want it?” yada yada yada. You see,i’m quite introverted and sometimes I worry whether I need to socialise more…make more friends etc.

    Thank God…after reading Joyce Meyer’s ‘Battlefield of the Mind’, and some bible verses on The Mind,I can actually catch myself when those thoughts start(trust me,when it starts,it goes downhill from there) and nip it right in the bud. I AM ENOUGH. I may not be an extrovert…may not have a slew of friends,but i’m one of the most loyal friends you can ever have.I can like to carry people’s problems as my own ehn! And I love helping people…I don’t care how inconvenient it is,i just love saving the day!E.g today at the ceremony,most of the bride’s friends weren’t willing to serve the guests when more hands were needed. I didn’t mind…I had to help serve even the villagers. Guests were already getting angry and the atmosphere was getting a lil uncomfortable. By God’s grace, i’m doing well for my self,but it doesn’t stop me from serving people when it’s necessary.

    If like me,you’ve had to deal with thoughts like these,you need to constantly remind yourself of your strengths.Don’t always major on your flaws and weaknesses.Whatever you focus on becomes bigger. You don’t have to be like someone else. Learn to love yourself.
    You’re OK. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

    Sorry for the Epistle,people. For a minute there,i felt like preaching!

    • Kiiki March 28, 2016 at 12:29 am

      T!!!!! We should be friends! ???

      • T March 28, 2016 at 9:02 am

        Definitely!!! I would really loooooooove that!how do I reach you,if you don’t mind?

    • GraceOfGOD March 28, 2016 at 8:52 am

      Good morning dear SISTER, I just LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you for that comment. I asked myself those SAME questions a couple of DAYS. I even went FURTHER. I asked myself if people would miss me when I am no MORE. Contrary to you I am an extrovert BUT my problem is that I am TOO FRANK and MANY people cannot COPE with that FACT. If I see EVIL I will say it even if that will COST me my relationship. To me JUSTICE prevails before ANYTHING ELSE, the PEACE of my MIND is much more IMPORTANT than having a lot of friends. My DEAR MOTHER once told me that I should REFRAIN from saying what I really think sometimes, she said people don’t LIKE to hear the truth and they may want to KILL me because of it. INDEED because of my “morals” I have LOST many “relationships” and faced so much ATTACKS. I even tried to keep my mouth SHUT, I tried to CHANGE myself to become like MOST HYPOCRITES out there, BUT I couldn’t, my CONSCIENCE would NOT LET me be. Sometimes I ask GOD why HE gave me this kind of heart, why must I carry OTHERS problems on my head? I am ONLY a human being. Don’t get me WRONG, I have my OWN FLAWS but I am HONEST and if I say that I love you, then I mean it. If I don’t love you you would also see it. Sorry for the LONG epistle, I guess I am using this as a THERAPY. I am TIRED of all the PRETENCES around me, I am tired of all the HYPOCRITES. I REFUSE to CONDONE EVILS, I stand for the TRUTH, I REFUSE to become someone else to PLEASE the MASS. This is ME and I am MORE than ENOUGH, it is either they TAKE it this way or they LEAVE it. Sorry again, I had to do it.. Stay blessed 🙂 🙂 🙂

      • T March 28, 2016 at 9:32 am

        @ Grace of God…my dear,if I tell you the kind of thoughts I used to think ehn?Hei! And I did it for years!i didn’t even realise I had that bad habit of unhealthy thinking until a couple of years ago when I read Joyce Meyer’s ‘Battlefield of the Mind'(it’s a great book,i recommend it)

        Yea,we all have flaws.But honestly,it will do you no good if you beat yourself down every single time.I feel at peace knowing that God does not condemn me,why should I condemn myself? When I make a mistake,i ask for forgiveness,i move on! Nothing and nobody’s messing with my mind again.

  • julian March 27, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    Thanks for dis piece……I learnt a lot ere…Gbu

  • serene March 27, 2016 at 11:28 pm

    thank you for telling me this. I really needed to here this again

  • Fola Coco March 28, 2016 at 1:00 am

    @T,hmmmm u just described me,i must be your lost twin…We are enough,we are who we are,hate us or love us. Be happy and content in yourself,sometimes it’s not easy but i am the best version of me.. I have battled low self worth,feelings of not being genuinely loved by friends irrespective of how loyal,kind,caring and nice i am. Got to a point where i was asking God why people constantly repay my good for evil,and why i was created this way..Not showing too much of myself,not being me because maybe being me was not enough or good enough..And i had to tell myself Fola u are a beautiful soul,if they don’t see it,its their loss. I am enough,i am enough,i am enough flaws and all.. Nice piece,thank you

    • T March 28, 2016 at 9:19 am

      @ Fola coco…Wow…isn’t it weird how we think we’re the ‘abnormal’ ones?people actually go through the same things we go through. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough Fola!

      • Fola Coco March 28, 2016 at 10:14 am

        @T..Yes. I have been dubbed anti-social,but i would rather be me. I also have those thoughts u have,like someone said i also think if i die now,who will miss me,who will care. I am overtly expressive and i have tried changing that,tried suppressing that side of me. But i have realized am not for everyone,those who will like/love me just the way i am will come and stay. Those whom am enough for,those who won’t have me be any other way than God made me. And if there’s any flaw i feel/think i need to change it will be because i want to. We should be friends doesn’t matter if u are younger or older than me. Everything u said was just me. Not to worry people will attend your wedding,those who cherish u(its not about the number of people,its having the right people around you. God bless u.

  • *curious* March 28, 2016 at 4:19 am

    Such a powerful piece! Thank you for the reminder, Akachukwu. ?

  • Imostatebarbie March 28, 2016 at 1:30 pm

    I love this feature, so inspiring. Thank you so much for this beautiful message!!

  • Rola March 28, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Incredible writing, just an 18 year old for that matter…. Feeling very inspired after reading this! I’m going to show it to my kids and make them remember that while dey go thru high school and social media they must not change 4 anyone, because this world can really transform people. May God help us love ourselves for who we are. Happy holidays

  • T March 28, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    @Fola coco…sure!would love to be friends with you. How do I reach you?

    • Fola Coco March 28, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      @T…turtleneck36@yahoo.com..You can send me a mail.

  • Sister Sister March 29, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    I was thinking about my life yesterday and how much I must have changed from a complete introvert to someone who now attended social events with friends just to ‘feel among’ and other things I needed to deal with, and I decided that I was going to start my self development journey (knowing who I truly am, sticking to it and start doing things that would develop me) today, and I came across this. I feel God wanted me to see this and as I read, all of the things I thought about that has changed me came like a flash…Lol. Thank you writer for this. God bless you and give you more grace to inspire.

  • Sister Sister March 29, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    @T, I should also add ‘Battlefield of the Mind’ to my collection in this journey. Thanks!

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