AUNTY BELLA – MS. FADING SELF-ESTEEM

I know Aunty Bella is usually up on Thurdays but I felt the need to put this up ASAP as I had initially promised to put it up last week. I feel her pain as we all have insecurities especially we, Young Women. I hope she can overcome this and move on. Please offer her some advice.
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Hi Bella,

I’m a single (and yes, I’m searching) 25-year-old lady. I’ve always loved my body, and thanked God whenever a compliment is passed to me; I’m on the fair side and quite voluptuous.

I can’t really place blame on anything, but ever since I broke up with boyfriend last year, I noticed I’ve gained quite a lot of weight, say 20 pounds (I’m presently weighing in at 192lbs) and I’m really working hard at loosing it, only that it’s been so so difficult for me to loose. In addition to the weight, three months ago, I noticed some stretch marks on my arms, and it’s becoming more and more obvious.
It’s almost summertime now, and I can’t even wear either short sleeves, or sleeveless dresses. Imagine, wearing dresses or tops that would be long-sleeved all through the summer? It is killing me and because of my insecurities, I have been declining to go out with friends and family members. I’ve had four wedding invitations and 6 graduation parties this month, and I haven’t been able to go to any except one, because it was chilly that day, which accounted for me wearing an elbow length sleeved gown. I know, it sounds crazy but that’s how bad it’s affecting me.

Bella, the truth is that I’m loosing my self-esteem! I feel my weight may have been putting off guys. Also, I am afraid that even if I start dating again and this new guy sees my stretch marks, How will he react? I don’t know what to do, I’ve prayed to God and it seems like the stretch marks are even more obvious on my right arm now. Please, I need help and advice. I have tried several remedies and they don’t seem to work, I’m on a diet now and trying to work out as much as I can. But I would appreciate if you would post out this message and ask for anything I can do. To all the readers please I’m so desperate as in, it’s affecting my psyche and like I said my self-esteem is slowly crumbling down. I NEED HELP. Thank u.

Ms. Fading Self-Esteem

~ Personally, I think this is deeper than the stretch mark issue. Perhaps it’s the weight gain but I think Ms. Fading Self Esteem might be carrying some baggage from her previous relationship. Please offer her some advice.

So Ms. Fading sent in an update but it’s quite long so I summarized it, if you want to read the full update, email me – [email protected]
UPDATE SUMMARY:
She and her bf broke up because he said they were both AS, but he knew that in the past and had promised that despite them both being AS he would stay.
She has never been a skinny girl and is not trying to become skinny
She is 5’7
The stretch marks is her major physical issue
Most of her friends are in Nigeria while she is in the US, so she feels isolated
Her closest friend in the US just got married so she has to give her space
Has already lost 3.5lbs and is working on losing more (it’s a start)
Thanks for the advice and she’s glad people kept it real and not as a ‘pity party’