Aunty Bella: Taking His Last Name

The Aunty Bella feature has been a part of Bella Naija since the early days of our existence. It is very special to us because we have actually learned a lot from the situations, responses and advice given. Today’s Aunty Bella is from Yinka Martins who is about getting married and trying to decide whether to take her husband’s last name , do read and offer her any words of advice and encouragement

My name is Yinka Martins — for now. As my October wedding approaches, I’ve been debating changing my name. I’m not a feminist. But after working for nearly five years, I’d like to think I’ve established some currency in my name, career-wise. Giving it up, I fear, would come at a cost. What if someone Googles or Facebooks me and …. I’m not there? I also think that a name change might make me feel as though I have somehow changed.

There are half-way solutions. Some of my friends use their maiden names at work and married names elsewhere. That seems messy. Hyphenation is not something am keen on: Yinka Martins-Kruks would be no fun for anyone to say or spell. Plus, where would I be in my company’s email address book and I don’t think my ultra conservative parents would like the idea of their only daughter having a hyphenated surname. Even though my fiancé and I have joked about combining our names what do you guys think of “Makru” unfortunately neither party gets to hold on to a family history besides it’ll be difficult to draw up family trees if everyone goes around conducting these types of mergers.

Right now, my inclination is to stick with what I’ve got, but when we have children, I don’t think that I’d be thrilled to have a different last name.

This is hardly a new topic, but it feels new to me and I’m wondering how others have handled it. If you got married after you’d been working for a while, did a name change cause any confusion or was it a minor annoyance? Did you once feel strongly about changing your name, but changed your mind? I’m interested in hearing your stories.