Orobo toh bad o!

I am angry, truly pissed off at Wande Coal! Why? Because he disappointed me and a host of others I am sure. I mean, I waited for months for the video of his fantastic hit song, “You Bad” to be released. And now a few months after its release I am still shaking my head in disappointment and in what I hope is righteous indignation.

The video fell short of my expectations! I had expected a battle of the bodies, the lepas vs. the orobos! I expected a video that would have had a plot along the lines of say Wande Coal entering a dance club and meeting two totally desirous but differently endowed ladies vying for his attention. It would have become a keen dance a la seduction contest between the lepa and orobo ladies and at the end of the day the “orobo toh bad o” would have won! Thus, the track would have become a bigger hit as the plus size women all over country would have adopted it as their anthem and also by a stroke of extra luck, some NGO supporting the rights of orobos would have adopted it as their official theme song or some such! He! He! He!

OK, I admit that the latter part of the above sounds a little far fetched but I hope someone’s getting my point? Because for real, I am getting tired of all these music videos that feature near anorexic chicks shaking non-existent booties! I am not racist but what’s with the skinny white girls appearing in our Naija videos? What is happening? I’ll tell you what is happening: the global fashion industry and the media sponsored by giant diet-pill-manufacturing conglomerates and their ilk have propagated the thin-is-in/skinny-is-healthy propaganda in order to boost copy and drugs sales. Now, everywhere I go I see skinny jeans! Sigh!

Men, when did we become so discriminating, denying our natural love for the big and beautiful physique? I mean, do we have to adopt everything Western? Thankfully, we now celebrate our own kind of music, literature, art etc. So why shouldn’t we feature Naija babes including orobos in the videos? Look at Nollywood, how many lepa women are featured? Very few as almost all of them are orobos! Indeed, a friend of mine swore that the only reason he watched Naija movies (especially the Yoruba ones) was that he was sure to see one or two big beauties! In fact, one particular pretty orobo actress comes to mind, one Folu…erm…never mind! Another friend received a phone call from some of his friends who were at a party. They told him to come over fast! There was a babe they wanted him to meet; a girl they knew he would be interested in. Guess what? She was orobo! How come? He says as an African and especially as an Urhobo man he prefers orobo ladies. Big women are beautiful. Most men like them. We like them. I like them, whether top-heavy, bottom-heavy, all-round-heavy, thick, chubby, bbbw or by any other nomenclature.

By the way what’s the big deal in a woman having a flat tummy? Overrated, I tell you! Some men need to see something wiggle and jiggle jo! Like D’banj sang, “Me, I be lepa, I no like bone to bone!” Word. Give us something we can hold on to…. a pillow a naturelle if you like. Some of us prefer rounded curves, smooth yet undulated vastness to angular joints, I hope I am not being overly graphic. I just can not help it if I am because orobos can be sexy too! I once had the pleasure of watching an uninhibited orobo lady display her moves on the dance floor and boy was every man in the room mesmerized! Now, I don’t know whether it was her moves, her body or a combination of both that caused time to literally freeze. Omo boys were almost drooling!

So calling out all you big and beautiful orobos, do not let anyone deceive you or look down on you; do not let yourselves be impressed by the fallacious ideal that thin women are preferred. You have a very very significant fan base. Believe! Orobo toh bad o!

Kindly note that I have avoided using the word “fat” in this write up to avoid insulting some sensibilities. I try to be as PC as I can! Also, to provide a definition and to forestall any arguments, orobo women are women who are not lepa; period.

Photo credits: Unknown