The Maid of Honor from Hell

I recently shared my Maid of Honor woes with readers of my blog.

They probably just brushed it aside as my usual ranting, but in truth, I am right now almost drowning in the turbulent waters of Wedding-mania.

My best friend is getting married in less than a month. She made the somewhat unfortunate decision of appointing me as her Maid of Honor!!

I have to be the most incompetent Maid of Honor ever! As in seriously, I was late for the Introduction; and I’m not talking a few minutes late, but like 3 hours!!

As if that wasn’t enough, you wouldn’t believe the next major gaff I made: I FORGOT THE WEDDING DATE!!

Who forgets the date of her best friend’s wedding?!!

I couldn’t even placate her or myself with an excuse the moment she caught on to the fact that I’d forgotten. I knew the month of the wedding, but never actually took time to confirm the precise date, as I just imagined that once that month came, and then the wedding would come!!

So there I was planning a Bridal Shower for a date that was way ahead of the wedding, and carrying all other members of the Shower Group along with my false date.

What a shame on me!!

My friend has asked me more than once if she has not made a mistake by appointing me as her Maid of Honor. I get upset when she says that, but who am I to complain; if I was acting right and doing all that I was meant to be doing, she would have never had to question her decision.

It’s not like I just don’t give a rat’s ass or something about the fact that she’s getting married; I’m actually just really clueless as to what I’m meant to be doing as the Maid of Honor.

My 3-time experience in this coveted position has failed to qualify me with the necessary experience required. I have a horror story attached to each time I’ve been made the Maid.

The first time, I was too busy getting drunk and having a fabulous time at the wedding, that I wasn’t aware when some sharp guy or girl nicked the Bride’s phone!!

So as you can imagine, there was the Bride on her wedding day, phoneless, and her Maid of Honor was entirely clueless!!

The tragedy of that story was that the Sharp guy or girl didn’t steal my phone along with the Bride’s. Wouldn’t it have been better if mine was taken as well?!

Second Tari-Maid-of-Honor disaster was not during the wedding, but after!! Till this day, two years after the wedding, I haven’t seen the child of my friend whose Maid of Honor I was!!

And she lives in this same Naija with me.

Ok so you now get the picture of how pathetic I am in this endeavor. *sigh*

I’m writing this because I really want to do right this time. My friendship with the Bride-to-be may be on the line if I continue to act the fool like I’ve been doing; and it’s not a friendship I’m prepared to gamble with.

Or I might just be sacked from the position!! And I suspect one or two people of secretly clamoring for the position behind my back!!

I asked her to sit with me and give me a full job description, detailing everything she expects from me as her Maid of Honor. The sweetheart that she is, she simply laughed, reached out her hand to touch my cheek, and told me that all I really need to do is be there for her.

And I know I’m there for her, I’ve always been, so that’s not a problem!! I doubt that there is anything there is that I wouldn’t do for her right now…I love her that much.

Which is why I want to be the best Maid of Honor to her.

I’m ready to be her House girl and do anything she requires of me. I just don’t know where to begin or where to end.

So I’ve come asking for your HELP!!! I need tips on what is expected of a Maid of Honor and insight on how to blow her mind by being a Maid of Honor made in heaven!!

What would YOU expect from your Maid of Honor? Can you make me feel better about myself by sharing horror Maid of Honor stories with me?!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Tari’s blog is www.tariere.blogspot.com also follow TariEkiyor on Twitter