Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: Seated in the Lap of Luxury

That thing they say about not knocking something until you’ve tried it? Well… I agree. In fact, that’s the sermon I’m going to preach all week because I’ve been schooled and humbled. So what am I rambling about this early Monday morning? Dearly beloved, I’m going to talk about the pleasures of driving. Not just the driving of a battered stick shift Honda. No! Driving a powerful Range Rover where you feel the engine throbbing under your touch. Do you know that feeling when you are one with the machine? When you feel like you can conquer the world just by being behind the wheels of a powerful car?

Well, let me tell you about it. It is absolutely awesome when you’re just lying down on the sofa watching re-runs of The Spot on EbonyLifeTV (over and over again) and then someone calls you to say “Yo, I need you to drop me off at the airport and bring my car back.” The awesome part is not the being a chauffeur bit. (I’ve gotten used to being used as airport shuttle. It’s one of the downsides of living 10 minutes away from the Lagos airport.) The awesome part was when this guy arrived at my house in this gleaming black LR4 and he stepped out, and asked me to take the wheel. “Oya oya, hurry, I’m running very late. I want you to drive so I can send out some last minute e-mails”.

Ha! Me? Drive? Big car? Of course I couldn’t show my localness so I got into the seat, adjusted it to fit my 5ft frame and when I stepped on that accelerator, I felt powerful. My senses went a-tingle from the combination of the lush seat, the smoothness of the wheel and the hum of the engine. I instantly repented from wondering why people buy certain cars. In fact, not just certain cars, certain items of luxury. For instance, my friend Mo has refused to buy a new phone even though his current phone has gone through a million phases of repairs at Computer Village. The phone is hanging on to its last limb but Mo has refused to buy a new phone. This was very surprising to me because he is the kind of person that likes new and flashy things. So this phone issue was very perplexing. When the Blackberry Z10 was released I said (with a poor man’s smirk) “Ahn Ahn, there’s a new Blackberry phone oh, won’t you retire this Curve that spends more time at Computer Village than with you?”. His response was “I’m waiting for a badder phone to be released” then he added “Don’t think I didn’t notice that smirk. I’m sure you realize that there are some things that one should indulge in every once in a while”. I snorted “I’m practical. I don’t indulge in Afe Aye (worldly goods)” Then he made me analyze everything I owned and we found out that I actually indulge in jewelry. *bows head in shame* I LOVE GOLD! In fact, when I become a big woman, I might just buy gold every day.

Guys, life is short and we should live it to the fullest, right? If I didn’t drive that car and feel the essence of the engine flow through me, I’d have been there ignorantly turning my nose up at people who buy expensive cars. My friends, that feeling of having something luxurious cannot be described with mere words. I think everybody has something they have a weakness for. So tell me, what would you absolutely splurge on? My friend Mo reminded me that my obsession with Yellow Chilli Jollof Fiesta is a luxury and it’s something I splurge on regularly and I shouldn’t just limit the scope of my imagination of luxury to just flying business class.

Speaking of which, I’ve never flown business class or first class before but I’m sure when I do, I won’t want to get out of the aircraft lai lai. Just thinking of all that leg room… Oh, hold on… I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m 5ft tall. What do I need leg room for?

Anyway guys, have a fantastic, fabulous and…. Okay I’ve run out of nice words beginning with “F” but y’all get my point. Don’t forget to share what you splurge on with us.

Peace, love & cupcakes!

Toodles!

Photo Credit: madamenoire.com