Peculiar Okafor: Humble Hopes For the Sovereign National Conference

The Sovereign National Conference is ongoing. Our dear conveners from various parts of the country meet to discuss pertinent issues and think up ways to move Nigeria forward; journalists, activists and spokespeople of various organisations are talking of changes they hope to see in the country. These issues range from constant power supply, to the availability of world class education for all, and of course, the very important issue of national peace.

I have dreams of what I hope to see in Nigeria and most of them are as not as lofty as national peace, but there are others that would really make a huge difference in our social lives. I have highlighted 10 changes that could really make a difference in our social life.

ATM Behavior
I hope there’s a ban on wasting time or jumping queues at ATMs. My people, if you cannot remember your password or do not know how to use the ATM, ask for help from the security personnel – not other customers who might be in a bad mood and are not obliged to help you and please make it as fast as possible. Those people who see a long queue at the ATM and decide to spend hours withdrawing money from the 5-6 cards that they own, there is a special place in hell for you and those of you who try to jump queues when people have been standing under the hot sun waiting their turn, ‘you no dey fear God?’

Noise
Some unnecessary noise should just be banned such as huge sounds from religious organisations and noise from cars. I love the lord and all but our religious organisations can do well to love the lord with respect for others keeping their sounds as minimal as possible and those of you who put club speakers in your car while driving, we’ve noticed you, now reduce the noise.

Reduction of Uniformed Personnel on Roads
You all will agree with me that it seems every day, a new uniformed group comes out; FRSC ‘AWON alata people’, ‘Ndi Igbo association,’ ‘SHU MAN DU association’ (I forged the last one). etc. enough is enough. The Police, FRSC and LASTMA are enough.

Censored Nollywood movie Titles
All these funny titles ‘My best friend woke up late and I got sacked’; ‘I wonder why the world is wicked?’ and the rest should not be allowed to see the light of day.

Nigerian Music & Women’s Booty
Na wa oh, later Nigerian men will be saying other countries have finer girls, yet they will not leave us alone with their songs. If it is not about our booty today, it will be about our fine face. If we are not making them ‘go crazaaay’, we want to finish their money. Our National conveners, on behalf of Nigerian girls, I beg you to tell these musicians to leave us alone.

Dreams Outside of Entertainment
It’s getting to the point where musicians are exceeding the listeners. I miss those days when our youths wanted to be doctors and lawyers; now everywhere you go someone is handing out a demo CD to you. Not knocking anyone’s hustle as everyone has to pay their dues and I am a strong lover of music but ‘if everybody becomes a celebrity, who will be the fans?’

Bloggers – The Truth, The Wholesome & The Inspiring
Not selfies and stories of the latest breakup or celebrity quarrel. Of course for this to happen, Nigerians will be interested in reading educational, wholesome and inspiring stories.

Banning Students From Fixing Brazillian Hair
Before non-students buy Brazilian, Peruvian or Mongolian hair, you will provide your bank statement and proof of a legitimate source of income that is at least 50% more than the cost of the hair. So that if you do ‘runz’ and get the money, no Brazilian hair for you.

Nigerian Men & Fidelity
Also, our females will respect themselves enough to demand monogamy and respect from their partners. Single women will also proudly say, ‘I’d rather remain single than accept to be second place in a man’s life’. This new advent of our young males becoming sugar boys, ‘in the beginning it was not so.’

And finally…..

The National conveners will decide that they really should convene pro bono and give their allowance to Charity but not before they have sent a percentage to me (wink).

On a serious note, it is my prayer that the ongoing Sovereign National Conference doesn’t become another ‘Crinkum Crankum’ and that the outcome takes us further to achieving what I call the Nigerian dream. ‘A nation where Peace and Justice reigns’.

Photo Credit: rockstu.com

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Peculiar Okafor is a marketing communications executive and loves to write. Visit her blog www.designersuitcases.blogspot.com to read her stories.