Is it Ever “Too Soon” to Pop The Question?

It’s engagement season!

Well to be fair if you’re a male between the ages of 25 and 30 or a female between the ages of 23 and 28, (the post university-phase) every week seems like engagement season, Lol, as it seems there’s always someone to congratulate on their #BNbling.

From the elaborate – “they were about to skydive when he held her hand right before they jumped and screamed ‘will you marry me?'” to the sweet and simple like, “he came to pick her up to go to church and proposed in front of her parents and siblings in her family living room”.

It’s no big surprise as it’s never been new for people to get engaged. However, what surprises many is hearing of super short relationships leading to an engagement. They wonder – how long should people have known each other before getting engaged and then married?!

When we say short, we mean short – yes, less than 6 months! In the past month alone we’ve heard of engagements within the year i.e. they met each other in 2014 and are getting married before the year runs out.

The brides-to-be simply say “when you know you know”. One met him in December, they got engaged in April and they are set to be married in November. People are also whispering that she’s pregnant, as they are talks of shifting the wedding date to August. When I told my older aunty about these short engagements she said, “yes ke, no time wasting.” Her reasoning is a couple Never truly knows each other fully before marriage. According to her, people still have their guards up, so it doesn’t matter whether they date for 5 months or 5 years… their true personalities come out after the knot has been tied.

For my friends on the other hand, they are shocked that people can get hitched so quickly. “What if he’s a woman beater nko?!”, asked my friend Jennifer. As a psychology major, she said most times negative traits show over time, as people let their guards down so if you rush things you’ll never find out until it’s too late (after marriage).

For me the age and maturity of the people involved is a big factor – dating for 3 months at 19 and at 29 are two different ball games. However, I’m supportive of the unions regardless, as to buy a ring and pop the question ‘is not beans’, (especially with these mega rings people are proposing with nowadays), I assume the person knows what they’re getting into.

So what say you? Are you team “when you know you know” or team “there’s no harm in investing time to know the person more, even when you ‘know'”?

xoxo

Ink

Photo Credit: Bryan Creely | Dreamstime.com