Aunty Bella: Miss Depressed Virgin

Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice as well.

***

This comment was posted underneath an article today, and has only been amended to correct grammar:

Dear BN friends please help me resolve this matter. Is there something wrong with me or am I  just overreacting? This may not be the right forum but I think I gotta say something.

I’m a female, happen to be nearing my late 20s, a virgin and I promised myself I will keep it ’till marriage. Lately it seems things are not working out for me. I haven’t found the husband I’ve been waiting ages for, I have no work (but I’m working on that) and I have no money, just relying on family and friends’ support. well to cut the long epistle short I think I’ve been battling depression lately and I just feel like I should do something rash or I would lose my mind. And the depression comes mostly from the fact that am single and I feel so lonely most times.

I keep getting the urge to do something drastic like just going out there to land any man I like and sleep with him just for the sake of doing that but the problem is I’m too conservative for that and I must say I fear God too much for that plus I just want to do it with that special person… I don’t know what the problem is really ‘cos I am told I’m beautiful yet I haven’t entered the right relationship. I have certain things I’m looking out for and the guys I’m meeting I find they don’t meet my criteria (at least the fundamental ones), and the guys I like do not reciprocate my affection (I’m talking about those fine dudes that just have your heart racing). I can’t just date any guy it has to be someone special and I haven’t just met him yet. sometimes I wonder if I’m in my right senses and not being realistic.

I have just a few friends, and my social life is not good enough. I had a rigid upbringing and that probably affected me. I’m trying now to be more social so I can meet more people but am really getting desperate especially when I look around and see the next person is in a serious relationship. Please what can help in this situation ‘cos I’m afraid to say I don’t wanna go suicidal.

Well are there others going through similar stuff? ‘Cos I think am going out of my mind. Is there something more I should do to meet the right person? I pray so hard and yet everything seems static and I feel the same lonely existence daily.

~ Ellie

Photo Credit: Elenathewise | Dreamstime.com