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Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: A, B, C to Wedding

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??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????It is said that marriage is one of those landmark events in a person’s life where the attainment or non-attainment of it is of equal importance.For those who get married, it is this really huge decision you’ve taken (or has been thrust upon you). For those who don’t get married, it is this really huge decision that you either long for, or the world wonders when you’d take that step (into the next stage). A few weeks ago, the Besto proposed to his girlfriend (He hasn’t given me permission to write about his ordeal in trying to pull off the perfect ‘surprise’ proposal! Please Mo, I know you’re reading this… give me permission!!! The gist is too FUNNY.) Anyway, we started talking about the different things he’d be expected to do now that he was finally.jumping on the marriage train.  We quickly made the distinction between the wedding and the marriage before we got into a protracted and unnecessary debate. So the discussion veered into the foray of the things that the couple HAD to do before the wedding, and the issue of pre wedding photos came up.

Whose brilliant idea was the taking pre-wedding photos sef? I remember that couples used to have their photos on party favours (back when they were not so fancy) So, people who wanted to share favours at weddings would request a photo of the couple and proceed to hand it over to the printer for onward transmission to the white handkerchief or the plastic tray. As society became more ‘enlightened’, it was no longer to use ‘just any photo’, couples started going over to studios (Remember LeFatts [sp] in Yaba?). Then, it wasn’t very cool to have your photos plastered all over party favours…plus our fear of ‘Juju’ and what was reportedly done with photographs of couples. Couples then miminized the use of their photos on paper bags and dish cloths.

According to my friend, Lola,  pre-wedding shots have slowly become apparently redundant. I argued that they provided good content for people to ‘ooh & ahh’ over on the Internet. “What is our life on the internet if people don’t provide us with entertainment? The world is already grey and dreary enough… we need the colour to bright up our lives”.  Someone said that there really was no point to overthink little things like that because they add to the entire package of the wedding.  I noted that the proliferation of pre-wedding shots and their circulation on the Internet provided a good way to showcase the craft of the photographer.  So, I asked if the pictures were basically more commercially viable for the photographer than the couple.  I found out that some photographers include pre-wedding photos as a bonus for certain packages chosen by the couple and so they don’t really add to the costs incurred by a couple planning a wedding.

Someone said that pre-wedding photos only added to the entire planning frenzy and were not a material part of the wedding ceremony. For some people, the pre-wedding shots is the way they introduce the previously ‘coded’ Boo to the world.

We then tried to differentiate between things that one absolutely had to have for a successful wedding, and things that we just did because everyone else was doing. My friend, J.D said that when she was getting married, she had insisted she had those flat things decorators put plates on at the reception. She said she had fought tooth and nail to ensure that they were paid for – because she absolutely had to have them as part of her decor. In hindsight, she wondered if it was worth all the fuss.

Someone argued that the most important part of a wedding ceremony was ensuring that the couple is present. “Everything else is just garnishing”.

So, what are your absolute wedding must-haves? I mean as the person getting married – you know we’ve already explored everything guests need to have fun at your party. As someone getting married, how important are things like pre-wedding photos? large centre pieces? fresh flowers? If you’re married, what are some things you’d just rather do without… you know how they say hindsight is 20/20. Oh, and if you had a pre-wedding shoot, tell us about that.

What must you have and what would you not mind if it was absent. And just for fun, what’s the funniest/weirdest/ pre-wedding photo pose you’ve seen and where!

Have a good week ahead and remember to smile.

Peace, love & cupcakes.
Toodles!

Photo CreditPhakimata | Dreamstime.com

You probably wanna read a fancy bio? But first things first! Atoke published a book titled, +234 - An Awkward Guide to Being Nigerian. It's available on Amazon. ;)  Also available at Roving Heights bookstore. Okay, let's go on to the bio: With a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Swansea University, Atoke hopes to be known as more than just a retired foodie and a FitFam adherent. She can be reached for speechwriting, copywriting, letter writing, script writing, ghost writing  and book reviews by email – [email protected]. She tweets with the handle @atoke_ | Check out her Instagram page @atoke_ and visit her website atoke.com for more information.

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