Geraldine Ogwe: My Encounters with Love

I believe in love – whether it working for me or against me. I admire people, especially young people, in love. I like the way they show love, as if their lives depend on the happiness of their partners.I see young lovers feed each other out of love. It may just be a scoop of ice-cream, a love bite on a fried chicken or just taking a sip from a lover’s drink. I love the incessant calls and texting.

Love is sweet when it is mutual. I want to love and be loved. When I thought I was ready for that, I opened up my heart and then one after the other, men strutted in. The very first boyfriend I had was Emmanuel. He suffered from sickle-cell anemia. When he was not in crisis, he was a jolly good fellow. His family was well to do and they tried their best possible to curtail his crisis. Emma was loving and he made me a little popular in my neighborhood. He would come in his right-hand drive Forerunner to pick me up. Right hand drives were not popular then. He would park right opposite my compound and cross over to call me. I was sixteen, he was twenty-one. As soon as I appeared, he would hold my hands and walk me to the car. I was still a virgin, and he never bothered to eat the cookie. He was a gentleman. We were intimate in a non-sexual way. He always introduced me to his friends as CHASSIS. I felt loved with him. Just when I was about getting used to the love, Emma died. I mourned him for two years then I moved on.

In my undergraduate days, I focused on my studies and tried to stay away from boys. My girlfriends were socially active. During semester breaks, we partied and clubbed. My girlfriends supplied me with undiluted fun whenever I wanted. Individually, they tried to hook me up. Finally, I decided to go out with Paul. He was in his final year while I was in my second year. He was our Director of Socials. He was a very possessive but faithful lover. I feared his temper. He could embarrass me publicly out of love. I kept him for social activities. With him, I had unrestricted access to campus activities. As soon as he graduated, we lost contact.

One cool evening, after my final year first semester exams, I met Dappa. He was parked by my hostel gate. He beckoned on me; I answered. After pleasantries, he offered to take my girlfriends and I out. The man said he wanted to suck. I didn’t understand so I asked him if he was a vampire. He laughed and said he wanted to suck my downstream sector. Just like that. I think it is rude to ask someone for any sexual favours the same day you met them.

A couple of days later, Anderson came. Two days after we met, he claimed he bought me gold jewellery but would give them to me by midnight of any day I chose. Ufuoma came three months after. I had just finished my degree exams. My girlfriend Mercy and her boyfriend, Zeke, decided to take us out. Ufuoma was Zeke’s friend. Ufuoma had charm. I was already a graduate, so I decided to pitch my tent with him. I felt ready for marriage. Ufuoma was thirty-two. I was twenty-two. He was tall, slender and had a little sexy scar by his left eye. He was my majordomo. I noticed that whenever I visited him, I didn’t spend any extra day. As soon as he was leaving for work, he would tell me to get dressed. The house was always cleaned at night, so no need for me to stay back. Sometimes, in a week, he wouldn’t pick my calls or call back. Later, he would tell me he was at the rig. He introduced me to his family members and friends as LAST BUS STOP. He told me to ask my father how marriage was done in my place. He even took me to his construction site where he was building a house. He showed me my room.

One Sunday evening, we slept in his brother’s house. On Monday afternoon, Mercy brought his wedding card to me. He was getting married on Saturday, in a few days’ time.

Geraldine wept. My sister asked me if I was pregnant. I laughed and continued my cry. I overcame that but I learnt from it.

Three years after, I met Confidence during our post graduate studies. We never talked in school until after my final exams. He approached me. He was the quiet type. I thought he was a human being but he was a time bomb. Things that clothes cover! Today, he is working in Shell. Tomorrow, he is working in GTBank. Call him by ten in the morning, he would tell you he was still at home. In the evening, he would tell you he was in a meeting with his fellow politicians. I tried to make him a better person but he frustrated all my efforts. He would tell me he was the first son and all his father’s wealth belonged to him. He was more interested in inheriting his father’s wealth than in leaving an inheritance for his own children.

Confidence was a smart beggar.
Confidence: I am really ashamed to ask you but please can I have ten thousand naira? I will pay you as soon as I get my salary.
Me: Salary from which company?
Confidence: I thought I told you I was managing a small firm for my friend.
Me: You are no longer working with the Logistics Company
Confidence: Na wa for you o, you still dey old testament.
Me: What do you need the money for?
Confidence: I want to fix our car

I laughed. Our car when it has problems. His car when it was okay. Cheerful giver like me, I gave. He never gave me back.

On another occasion:
Confidence: A lady is supposed to help and encourage her man. Do you agree?
Me: Sure
Confidence: I need you to help me with some money. I am really broke.
Me: That ATM no dey work again o. If you have any money, lend to me.

When my patience and long suffering with him ran out, I moved on. I was tired of being his Charity Organization.

Finally, I met Gerald. Our names brought us together. We met in a workshop where we were both presenters. He came and showed me why it never worked with any other person. He is tall, dark, handsome, hardworking, jovial, kind, young but mature, and God-fearing. He knows a little about everything. He knows what to do to please me. He holds my magic wand. Just mention that you are a friend or relative of Geraldine, he would immediately absorb you into his inner circle. He is a giver. He is my very own Voltron, the defender of my universe, my Union Bank (Big, Strong, Reliable).

We have dated for two years now. He finally wants to put a ring on it but I told him to wait another year. I am enjoying myself. I don’t want marriage to change this type of loving. I don’t want to be loved because one feels it is a moral or civil duty. I want to be loved because I am Geraldine.

Silly, right? After kissing frogs and then comes Prince Charming, would you ever want any delay in being his wife?
Are you scared that marriage may change your partner?

Photo Credit : Dreamstime | Michael Zhang