Geraldine Ogwe: Love & Photo Editing Tools

Golden came to visit me after three years of our not seeing each other. I was very excited to see my girlfriend of nineteen years right in my sitting room. Golden is a member of my Circle of Three. She is a friend I can discuss anything with, without fear of being judged or envied. She is a friend that sticks closer than a sister.
Last Saturday, she was dressing up to go out. The kind of dressing up a young lady does and you automatically know it is for a man. I asked her who she was going to meet, and she told me she was going to meet her own Saif Ali Khan (for those who don’t know him, kindly use Google now before you continue reading).
My friend was very excited about meeting this guy whose real name was Silas. I wanted to know more about this guy who gave her heart palpitations. Golden is a hopeless romantic. You may choose to blame it on Bollywood movies. She is a beautiful and intelligent rich lady who wants to finally end up with a handsome and intelligent man. Whenever I told her that she should look beyond the physical attributes of a man, she would tell me that she didn’t want her children to blame her in future. She would tell me that she was protecting the facial rights of her future children. She told me that she was introduced to Silas, sometime in September this year, through her colleague. They hadn’t actually met but they talked a lot on phone and exchanged pictures on Gmail. Whenever they met, she said, it would be very easy for them to identify each other. She told me that ever since she downloaded the first picture of Silas, her heart had fallen in love with him. He was a tall, handsome dude with beautiful long legs and a lot of chest hair. She looked forward to stroking the hair. She told me that she looked forward to lying on Silas’s broad chest. That would be the nearest thing to nirvana she would experience. From the pictures too, she admired his cute forehead. She looked forward to planting a kiss on it as her own way of welcoming him into her life.

The good news to me was that Silas lived in my city. I was happy that she would be visiting more often. Golden and Silas decided to meet at a very nice restaurant for dinner. She wore a lovely red dress and gold shoes. She wanted to give Silas the same feeling Chris de Burgh had when he was writing the Lady in Red song. She looked luscious after dressing up and I told her I would be her driver for that day. At the appointed time, I drove her like the queen she was, to meet her king at their rendezvous.

Silas was punctual. He was already seated inside the restaurant, waiting for her. I was about leaving to allow them get to know each other, when Golden suggested I walk in with her to say hello to Silas before leaving. I agreed. Good idea.
As we sauntered into the room, a young man hollered, “Golden, over here”. She walked to the man and asked him if they had met before and told him she was meeting someone. The man told her that he was SILAS. Golden couldn’t believe her eyes. She dialed Silas number and the “stranger” picked up and said, “I told you”.

Me (to Golden): Is this he that is to come or do we wait for another?
Golden: This man is not my Saif Ali Khan.
Golden asked Silas about the man in the pictures and he couldn’t utter a good explanation.

Silas was older looking in person and had tobacco stained teeth. A combination of Colgate, Oral B and Maclean toothpastes would not give him the dental miracle he truly needed. His wrinkled forehead was not exactly the forehead she looked forward to kissing. Silas was also five inches shorter in person. He was the exact opposite of the man she saw in those pictures that gave her dreamy nights. That was not the man she fell in love with. That Silas was not the reason she wasted her Mary Kay that night. Well, nerves were frayed and that dinner did not hold. Golden is a financially independent lady who hates lies and not a stranded girl that can pretend there is peace in the land so she can get transport fare back home.

I consoled her and jokingly told her that Silas of the Bible praised his way out of the prison. Maybe this Silas could praise his way out of non-attractiveness.
Golden was a victim of deceitful photo editing.

Six years ago, my neighbor fell in love on Facebook and decided to meet the lady who had captured his heart. The venue was Bar Beach. As soon as he saw the girl, he knew that truly there was a thin line between love and hatred. The girl in question misled him and sent him deceitful photographs, (emphasizing on the chest region because he told her he liked big breasts), only for him to discover that she had a disfigured leg. He didn’t bother to even pretend for one day. He did a 360degree turnaround back to town.

I think that people should worry about editing their hearts and pockets, not their photographs. We all want to look good in photographs but highly misleading photographs sent to intended dates are signs of low self esteem and self-hatred.
Even though the eyes feed before the mouth, I think that if you are good hearted, no matter how your face looks, you will always meet good people who would accept you. Nobody wants to be with a beautiful devil. Everybody wants to be with who treats them right and everybody wants to be with people who are confident. Smiling has a way of enhancing confidence and making people look beautiful. You should try it.

You can edit your photographs for your private enjoyment but don’t mislead someone you want to have a relationship with (prior to meeting them). They may never accept the new and real you. If your face is a disqualifier, never send a picture before a blind date. Let the person willingly accept you or reject you based on your face and not based on a lie. If someone rejects you on a blind date because of how you look without caring to know you better, believe me, it is their loss. If someone rejects you because you made them feel you were more handsome or beautiful than you actually were, then it is your own loss by stupidity.

If Silas had been more confident and not sent deceitful pictures to Golden, she wouldn’t have walked away that night. She would have given him audience. The Golden I know would sacrifice anything to make her man feel loved. It is not for nothing that she is nicknamed Destiny Changer.
You are not the creator of your body but the caretaker of your body. People will only see you how you make them see you. You must be comfortable with what you look like and also make genuine efforts to take care of your body. That is self- love.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Mimagephotography