Atoke’s Monday Morning Banter: No Strength For Fight

Convincing my parents that I NEEDED glasses was very difficult. It was believed that I only wanted it as a fashion accessory and so I wasn’t getting them. My pleas fell on deaf ears, and every term I returned to school finding ways to adjust to my rapidly worsening astigmatism. I resigned myself to having to copy someone else’s notes because I could never see the board from where I was sitting. It was a bad time; to make matters worse, I started losing friends.

“I was waving at you when you were walking towards the Intro-Tech Lab and you carried face like you didn’t know me.”

With some people, it was okay to just explain that that every face beyond 7 feet was just a blurry canvas.

For others, it was always fight.

“How will you say you didn’t see me? Am I a pin?”

“You are such a snob.”

“You’re always waiting for someone to greet you first.”

It was my indoctrination into people who were quarrelsome. There is no amount of explanation that is good enough for quarrelsome people. Attempting to explain yourself is tantamount to banging your head against a brick wall.

It takes a conscious effort to avoid quarrelsome people and the toxic relationships that come therefrom. However, in spite of your best intentions, these problems show up.

In some scenarios, you’ll be charting your own course and trouble will show up.

Angela runs into her old time classmate, Abigail at the mall. They greet each other and do a quick catch up. Then Angela, remembering that Abigail has a son,  says “How is your son? He must be a big boy now.”  Abigail responds with, “He’s fine. Thank you for asking.” Angela goes away thinking all is well… till she receives a text from Abigail “My son has a name. It is David. I’d rather you not ask for him if you can’t make the effort to show you genuinely care.”

Ah! The issue of forgetting people’s children’s names is a serious one amongst Nigerians. After getting in Angela’s type of trouble more than once, I decided to use the blanket expression ‘How is the family?’ There’s no way I’ll remember your child’s name if we’re not spending an inordinate amount of time together, so why am I being called out because I don’t remember the name? It’s even worse now that modern day parents name their kids ‘Oluwaseunbabarafunmilayeyi’.

Why do you have to quarrel with me because I didn’t remember your child’s name?

Why do we have to quarrel over any, and everything?
In a world plagued with sorrow, anguish and wickedness, do you really need to quarrel over the fact that someone took the last portion of Indomie noodles in the pot? Sometimes, just breathe and find an alternative to quarrelling and making an issue out of everything.

As much as I understand that some things can be extremely painful – we’re humans and we expect to be accorded the kind of respect that we give – however, I believe that if you take a few minutes to think about the perceived wrong doing, you can work your way through it.

Not every time vex, vex vex! Some time… just shrug and focus on that which isn’t grinding your gears. Your cousin called your girlfriend fat? Your brother’s girlfriend called your husband by his first name? Your driver forgot to bring out the goat meat from the car? Your pastor didn’t acknowledge your 1 million Naira donation to the building fund?

Keep calm and just breathe!

Life is too short to blow a fuse over any and every situation.

Honestly!

Okay sermon over. What are some of the most ridiculous things you’ve gotten angry over. No shame in admitting mine was one portion of hot spiced Indomie noodles I’d prepared after 3 hours of commute from Lekki to Oshodi. Only to get back from my shower and find out someone had eaten it. I’m sure the gasket of my brain blew that night. If I had calmed down I’d have saved myself the headache that ensued after plenty screaming. Another plate would have been ready in 5 minutes.

What’s the most ridiculous thing someone has quarrelled with you over? “You didn’t greet my aunty when we walked past her at the airport”. Really dude? Really?

Have a calm week ahead. Smile, eat healthy, and be happy.

Peace, love & cucumber slices.

Toodles!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Jason Stitt