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Isio Knows Better: Something For Your Thirties

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imageThis whole article is about the experience of being in a thirty year old body, as a woman. And the things no one told me to expect. Some of these things are… quite delicious, might I add. Ooooh, so very delicious indeed… *giving side-eyes to allOfUs who are above thirty and know wharraImean

Which begs one to wonder why some women are so petrified of ageing, and the big 3-0… like it’s a flag of doom they are being forced to carry. It’s almost as if it’s a shameful rite of passage they would rather not face. Life is a gift, ageing is beautiful, if you take care of your body and your LIFE – by the CHOICES you make. These set the tune to the kind of CONSEQUENCES (or/and REWARD) you and you alone will have to face – which directly influences the quality of life you will have as a human being.

Exactly. It is not complicated at all.

But as a twenty-something year old, everything seems sooooo serious, so jigi-jigi, so permanent. Quite frankly, many of these only seem more important than they actually are (in the long term). But you don’t have to take my word for it. Make your mistakes, hopefully, you will become better for it. As they say, from bad judgement comes experience, and from experience you {should} learn good judgement. So, don’t be scared.

I have met many females in their late twenties who whisper their ages with bowed heads and shame when asked. But, don’t worry, Isio de-la gbogbo e ati bee’bee lo will talk you through the first year of her thirties and the things I wished my older female friends had told me to expect.

Okay, so here goes…

You May Blossom Before Your Thirteeth
And by blossom I mean “fill-out”, get rounder. You know, get more flesh in all the right places, I know I did. You might look in the mirror and see a softer, fuller, curvier version of yourself. This is very intriguing if you were the slender/semi-athletic type. But you need to watch it. Don’t get carried away. Remember some people’s metabolic rate gets slower with age. Before you know it, you might end up getting thicker than you ever intended and be stuck with it.  There is a saying that it is very difficult for a woman to lose weight beyond that which she crossed into her thirties with. Me I no know o, and I decided not to use my body to find out. Also, if you weren’t previously, you should consider eating for your long term well-being, and not just your short term satisfaction.

You Will Stop Caring So Much About Being Everything For Everyone
I can’t explain this one. Walahi, I have spoken to dozens of women, thirties and above, and it’s all the same. It is like a consciousness reset. You understand your limitations, and you know what you need. You understand that NO ONE is going to punish you if you just take a lazy day and do nothing, whereas in your twenties you think your life is over if you don’t get up and do something. This doesn’t mean you do nothing… it just means that you FINALLY get it. NOT every prize is worth the hunt; when you do “hunt”, (and I use the term metaphorically here) it best be to secure your future. You will also learn to cut your loses quickly and move on – without the pomp and fuss of younger years. No time mbok.

Your Hormones Will Unleash An Onslaught of Ermm… Delicious Things
Trust me, as a naughty Scorpio, it would give me great pleasure to describe to you the 50 shades of deliciousness that awaits once you start inching towards thirty and finally cross over – but alas, we are a conservative and civilized people *yimu* who don’t talk about such… so all I will say is that it is to be felt and enjoyed not necessarily explored.

Apparently some researchers believe (Ohhh yes, I had to research it o!) that once a female {especially one who has never been a mother} reaches her sexual/child-bearing prime (late 20s- early 30s), the body releases a surge of powerful hormones that heighten desire. In simple English, that thing that is totori-ing you is simple biology, please cover yourself with the armor of God, not the arms of that-your-ex-with-the-strong-arms-and-the-sexy-eyes. No go enter one chance o!

Hormonal Imbalance Is a Wicked Witch
Hormonal acne, aching boobs, bloating and weight-problems, mood-swings, depression, forgetfulness, fatigue and insomnia can be triggered by hormonal imbalances and hit you hard at any time. Seriously, you need to take care of your lifestyle (health and diet) if you are not already doing so. (You can study more about Hormonal Imbalance causes, effects and symptoms on the web or library, or ask your doctor – as many women are greatly affected {and sometimes overwhelmed} by hormonal fluctuations).

And the best one yet is that – If you are lucky and they are still alive –

You Will Become Friends With Your Parents
This is by far my most cherished thing. At thirty, your parents transcend from being just parents who want the best for you to friends who want the best for you. I have always had a great relationship with my parents, especially my mother to whom I owe every graceful thing about myself. Hello mommy… *big e-hugs and squeeeezeeeeee…*). The wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and temperance learnt first-hand from their life experiences are just phenomenal. I wish you guys the blessing of a parent-turned-friend.

These are the things I have learnt about turning thirty, but hey, like I said, they are from my personal experiences. As an above thirties male, your experience may have been different, but imagine you have something to say to younger males who are petrified about turning 30, what would you say to them? As a younger female (30 being the bench-mark) are you worried about the big 3-0? Why? Please share and help us understand. From where I’m sitting, life is a gift and there is nothing to be ashamed about. Understand that there are many people who are praying for the life you have now.

For my fellow 30-and-above females and aunties in the house, I trowey babanla tuale for una o, and for my senior mamas and mamalets, biko I Kukuma roll for ground for una sef elder tinz.
Please share with us your experiences and wisdom, and please tell us what you wished someone had told you about turning thirty and aging. Somewhere, a beautiful 27/28/29 year old needs to read it, and feel better about herself {or himself}.

A beautiful Tuesday to you all!

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

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