Munir Bello: He Claims He Loves Me, But He Won’t Stop Watching Porn

At some point or other all women I’ve spoken to have asked me about porn. Some (not all) women I’ve spoken to in relationships struggle to understand why their partners watch it. They always ask, ‘Am I not enough for him?’ Opinions do differ. Some women don’t mind their men watching porn as they believe that it’s a natural thing for men to do and aren’t particularly bothered. They prefer that their men watch porn than go out and sleep with other women. Others accept it but don’t want to know about their partners consumption habit. There were a few women who said that they would watch it with their partner. The majority of women I spoke to have a big problem with their men watching porn. Their reasons vary, some see it as something that’s on a par with cheating, others think that there must be something wrong with their relationship if their man is watching it. ‘I do everything he wants so why the need to see other women naked?’

There was no shortage of participants for this particular topic when I first put it out there. There were so many people queuing up to give their opinions. I spoke to many guys in bars and had tons of emails. The men’s consumption habits were varied. There were some men who watched it once a week, some watched it daily and there were some guys who used every spare minute they had to indulge in some viewing (A surprising amount said that they used their lunch break as an opportunity to get some alone time every day at work). There weren’t very many men who were comfortable watching it with their partner on a regular basis. The ones that did would be happy to occasionally watch it as a couple to look for tips and get a better understanding of their partners preferred method of achieving a climax. Others used joint participation to heighten their sensations during sex.

The first fellow I spoke to said that he watched porn because there were many things that the girls in those movies did that his partner refused to do to him. Another guy said that it allowed him to indulge in his fantasies of being with a girl that looked different to his partner in terms of hair colour, ethnicity or body shape. One guy said he searched out celebrity lookalike porn which featured girls that look like his celebrity crushes which allowed him to act out his fantasies. The guys did all say that they loved their partners dearly but sometimes they just weren’t enough. Girls in porn look like they are really enjoying themselves whereas their partners didn’t always look like they were. Some men said that if their partner gave them sex more often then they would have no reason to watch porn whereas some said that even if (and in some cases it was) always available from their partner they wanted the variance that porn offered them. Many guys said that they climaxed far quicker when watching porn because they knew exactly what they needed to do. Two of the guys said that in order to climax when they were with their partner they had to picture some of their favourite scenes as they sometimes found their partner boring in bed.

The next thing I wanted to know was if the men watched it in secret or if their partners were aware of it. 80% kept it to themselves for fear of upsetting their wives/girlfriends. 20% did tell their partners but half of those wished that they didn’t as it made for a difficult conversation or in some cases arguments. Two guys lost their relationships because their girlfriends were disgusted by their habit. The other guys who told their partners about it said that their partners were happy to watch it with them and also didn’t have a problem with it as they thought all men do it.

Final question asked was how the men would feel if their partners watched porn in secret. The first addict said that he would hate it because he knows what goes through his mind when he’s watching porn and would be very uncomfortable with his partner experiencing similar thoughts. Most of the guys did think that their partners did watch it and whilst they didn’t have a problem with it they would be uncomfortable discussing with them. A few did wish that their partners did watch it so that they could openly discuss their preferences without any negative repercussions.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with watching porn as long as it doesn’t involve beastiality, children or any sort of violence. I think having to watch it every minute of the day is a bit excessive but isn’t something that people should be vilified for. Everyone has a different level of drive in that department. One correlation that I noticed was that men who were exposed to porn before they lost their virginities had some unrealistic expectations from their partners in the bedroom and also made up the majority that had a very high consumption level.

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