William Ifeanyi Moore: Are Men Intimidated By Successful Women?

It is no secret that men are intimidated by successful women. I know the kind of girls I will attempt to talk to in my Toyota Corolla (especially now that the AC is broken). When I’m in my father’s Mercedes on the other hand…the sky is the limit (shame I only go to warm it when he is out of the country). Even from an approach perspective, men are already conscious of how wealth can affect their chances with women. My friend would say: some of these babes have men that pre-order iPhone 6 for them; we can’t compete with our salary lifestyle. Yes, acquired success also counts. It hasn’t even got to be the girl’s own money. It can be her daddy’s money (biological or sugar daddy).

For women on the other hand, a man’s wealth is more or less a magnet except when they consider the competition from other women that come with it. I mean you will think that with all the progress feminism is making (Chimamanda we hail thee) a woman’s success should pose no threat to men, right?

Well I am here to bring you the truth:

Men are not intimidated by successful women, we are intimidated by women more successful than us.

One more time:
Men are not intimidated by successful women, we are intimidated by women more successful than us.

A man is comfortable with a woman having $999,999.00 in her bank account as long as he has $1,000,000.00 in his, and at risk of getting mobbed in the comment section I will say that this is largely because women that earn more and hence contribute more are quick to lose respect for their men. This is because our society has defined the role of a man as the provider. His failure to do this means he is at best a failed experiment at masculinity, and hence will not be treated with any such respect as he has not earned it. For women, the expectation used to be centred on domestic chores but today men are getting a lot more relaxed with that as maids take on more of that role. Unfortunately, you can’t hire someone to make money for you. I think the word for that is ’employment’ and it requires you to have made a lot of money already.

Because there is no social expectation on women to have money, it doesn’t matter at all what’s in her account as long as she doesn’t pose to be an unbearable liability to the man. Obviously, there is a level of wealth once both people attain, money stops to be an issues and they move towards emotional and intellectual matters, but how many of us are really balling like that?

I have heard countless stories of women that treat their husbands no different than the family dog because they play the role of bread winner. Because they feel taking care of a man is not their responsibility, a relatively broke husband is classified as a liability. So there you have it. Now you know why a guy might consider not talking to you if your hair looks like it might be worth his three month salary.

My advice is for women to change this idea that a man represents a wallet. In a world where competition is stiff and opportunities are open to everyone, not all men can be bread winners. The sooner women adjust their expectations to this reality, the less it will hurt when you reach for your wallet after a date. Respect a man for other values he adds to your life, money isn’t the cornerstone of manliness. Making him feel like less of a man because he cannot pay all the bills is just emasculating. It is the fastest way to drive a man away. And before you tell me even the Bible says the man should be the provider…ask yourself ‘do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?’

Or better yet, do you really want to follow interpretations to the letter because that means you will still have to be 100% submissive to him even with your millions. You did agree to the vow ‘In rich and in poor’…not that most women get to that stage with poorer guys.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Sam74100