Tosin Akingboye: Thank You…Please…I’m Sorry

Thank you…
Please…
I’m sorry…

I have learnt several times that these 3 phrases can go a long way.

I won’t act like a saint and say I haven’t erred some times but most times, I make sure that these phrases are not far away from my lips whenever necessary.
You know how it is difficult for some people to say “I’m sorry”? Mba! Ko jo rara! Emi Oluwatomisin ko! {No, not me, Oluwatomisin}

I find it very easy to apologize, which has helped me a lot. When others are still there talking and arguing and trying to find their way out of their offence, I will quickly say “I’m sorry” and let it end. One of the things I detest is confrontation; so anybody who knows me well, knows that once you let me know what I’ve done wrong, before I even try to explain, I will first of all say I’m sorry – even if the person is a junior to me (age-wise or professionally).

My former COO used to ask me “so why are you saying sorry? Why didn’t you do the task when I asked you to?”, I would just look at her and say, “I am sorry. I have no excuse whatsoever, even though I was preoccupied with other things but still I am sorry. I sincerely apologize” and then she would laugh and that would be it.

I have realized that my ability to accept blame (when due to me) and apologize has gotten me out of situations that might have been bad if I had insisted on arguing. This is not to mean I do not defend myself when I am right o. Heck no! I am that stubborn, that is when the Ondo lady in me comes out; I will argue and defend myself. I don’t apologize when I’m right, I’d rather keep quiet. Please it is important to note that there are times that just I’m sorry is not enough!

The magic word…Please! I have so ingrained the use of this word in myself that I cannot even ask my youngest sister (who is 7 years younger than I am) to do something for me without adding it at least twice! At work, whenever I need an office assistant to help me run an errand, the numbers of pleases that I will say ehn, no be for here. I have come to realize that the only reason some people find it difficult to use this word is the feeling of entitlement. Yes! Entitlement not pride!

I have heard things like “why should I say please? Is he not my younger brother?” “she is my subordinate, she is supposed to do whatever I ask her” “but she is already going to the kitchenette, telling her to bring a cup of water for me is not a big deal” etc. I was so shocked one day that I had to tell a former colleague “yes! She is your junior (an office assistant) but that doesn’t give you the right to ask her to bring water for you in such a condescending manner!” In fact, that day, I asked the particular office assistant not to do it (as her line manager).

I have this so bad that even when I’m ordering food at a fast food joint, I’m always like “please, I want fries and chicken. Can you add a bottle of water, please?”. Some of my friends have made jest of me a lot of times. One day, a friend said, “it is his job to take your order, why are you saying please?” and I responded, “the please that I just said didn’t reduce the size of my brain so what’s the big deal? And that ‘please’ may just stop him from spitting inside my food”.

Note: some service providers can still be silly no matter the number of times you say please.
I have also noticed that these service providers reciprocate the politeness they get from me. This even got me extra portions at the cafeterias when I was in Bowen University.

The last but not the least…Thank You. I perfected the art of saying this when I was still collecting stuff from my father. While my siblings would be complaining about what had been given to them and my father would be angry, I would just thank him and he would smile at me. Guess whom he would attend to first the next time, moi! My siblings learnt this and they learnt well.
I know the way I say “thank you” sometimes can be annoying; you know those people that say “thanks for yesterday”, “thanks for the other day”, “please help me thank Tola, she gave me a dress last week”? yep! I’m one of those people.

I once gave my younger sisters a lecture:

When you enter into any office, greet the gateman “good morning/day” and smile. Go into the reception; greet the receptionist with a smile. Say, “Please I’m here to see Lagbaja”. When you are done with your meeting and you are about to leave, smile at the receptionist and say “thank you”. And when the gateman opens the gate/door for you to exit the building, smile at him and say “thank you”.

Jokes apart, courtesy doesn’t diminish one’s size/intelligence/status. It is nothing but pure courtesy! Nobody is asking you to develop friendship with them but be polite!

Yeah, it is almost payday *winks*, so even as you are turning up, be courteous.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Sdeva