Busayo Oderinde: 6 Types of Food Eaters

Anytime I go for an event, I always find myself around the food section (Almost always. But what can I say? It’s the passion) I find the handlers of food hoarding the food, refusing to serve the food or giving out small portions with the excuse that more guests are expected. I get vexed by this; so angry… and if I have a right to speak up at the event, I always do. At a recent wedding of someone I knew very well, I almost threw a plate at a guy serving small chops, he was telling he had to serve people inside first and I should go sit down if I wanted to get served. I saw red “because of small chops?” These servers act like the food police and have some exaggerated opinion of themselves and therefore hoard or promote hoarding. The ironic and sad part of this story is that food eventually wastes. It is just pointless.
I am sure you have been to one or two Owanbe where you didn’t eat. The servers were probably serving according to asoebi. It’s just food. It’s not that serious. Let people eat.

Here are my thoughts on different categories of Food Eaters

The Olojukokoro (Greedy Person)
I love sharing food, I mean I am not a hoarder or stingy with food. In fact when I dine out, I enjoy when me and my dining partner order different items off the menu and I get to sample everything. However, I get angry when people want your food especially when they have theirs. Annoying!

There was this guy I dated briefly who had this habit bad. On the first date with him, he hemmed and hawwed before deciding what he wanted to eat (He was also the “I can’t make up my mind fellow” . I don’t really mind, I am actually very benevolent, I know not everyone’s food knowledge is as astute as mine so I am cool) when the meal came, he decided he wanted mine and graciously I gave him mine. Don’t blame me, first date and all.
He did the same thing on the second date and this was after I suggested the options he could try so a repeat of the last experience could be averted; I smiled sweetly and said no. Things kinda fizzled out after that.

The Messy Eater
This is disgusting. Watching some people eat can make you barf. This also includes chewing loudly, talking with your mouth full, eating with your mouth open etc.
I do get wanting to dig in and enjoy your meal, there’s no way you won’t get a little messy. I mean how do you demolish a stack of finger licking, bone meltingly good barbecue honey ribs and not get a little messy? But it doesn’t mean you have to be a caveman. I have a friend though who can eat anything with a fork and a knife. He will finish the ribs without necessarily using his fingers, and the bone will be clean. Though this is the ideal, I believe people like this are unreal.

The Commentator
I am so guilty of this habit. My sister who is my main lunch/eating partner has to bear this. It’s like every time I see food or start eating, you can’t shut me up, I am like “this is fabulous”; “there is this taste I can’t place, cinnamon or nutmeg””Reminds of this meal we had here” and so on and so on.
My sister just rolls her eye or says: “Busayo, keep quiet and let’s enjoy the meal in peace” . Thankfully she indulges me in tolerance and love (Hey sis). I can curb this habit around people I don’t know very well, so I have it under control.

The Indecisive One
A lot of women suffer from this habit at the hands of their men. Men sometimes expect women to be magicians and know the right kind of meal to prepare. You will hear guys telling their women,”just cook something”. What is ‘something’? You want the something to be awesome, but you don’t know what it will be. Why can’t you make up your mind?
You have to give it up to we the womenfolk for being patient and loving fellows – understanding what “something” or “anything” means to a lot of men and making magic with that.(Tongue out)

Saving The Meat For Last
This is just mildly irritating. Now I understand this being the norm when we were kids with no buying power but we are adults now and it’s ridiculous. The meat is a part of your meal, why would you finish all your rice then face the chicken. Why?
I get it. It is the unnecessary importance we attach to meat. I did write an article on meat and its qualities. {Click here if you missed it} I also know someone who can’t eat without at least five to six pieces of meat on his food. Amazing stuff.

The Tech Addict
In a way, a lot of us are guilty of this.  I talk about this because it’s just plain rude and a very bad table manner which we have to do without. If you must check up on something on your phone during a mealtime when you are in the company of people, at least excuse yourself and give a reason. You can internet surf as much as you want in the comfort of your home and that’s fine but if you are dining out with people, please be courteous and treat people with respect, let your phone be.

Other annoying habits include:
Burping – Please do this in the comfort of your home not outside.
Being mean to restaurant waiters – This is just so wrong.
The food grabbers – The one who is always on a diet but finishes your ice cream or your fries.
The Stingy-koko – This person is just weird about sharing food and for some people its just because they are very formal and proper. I remember that in Secondary School, some people will spit into their soft drinks so that they won’t have to share. Smh. I am a little bit stingy when it comes to chocolates, apart from that, its just food, I will share.

Please people, let’s do better. These are some I know of, I am sure you know a few, please share.

Love and chocolates.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime |  Mimagephotography