Chiugo Akaolisa: Always “Busy”

I absolute run away from social messaging platforms because I feel like they are an endless time warp. In fact, I get hiccups every time I see a new message. However, for my partner, I make the time to reply all messages in record time because he is at the top of my priority list. For all others, I’d rather call and end the torture so I can get back to my “busy” life.

If I am being completely honest, nobody is ever that busy; it is just a matter of priorities.  A person can find an hour to keep up with their favorite shows or soccer clubs but will fail to return a call or a message.

Why? Because that call or message is not that important at that moment.

I once dated a guy who had the mother of all hectic schedules. If he wasn’t at work, he was bringing it home with him. If he wasn’t working at home, his family or friends were needing him for something. I was always waiting to be contacted. I had a very demanding job back then but I appeared clingy trying to get attention. At a point, our relationship was reduced to only calls and messages. When I was absolutely positive I was dating myself, I exited the situation.

I couldn’t help but smile when my friend called me to complain bitterly about his girlfriend always being busy. It sounded all too familiar. I don’t interfere in relationships but I gave him my own experience as a guide.

I’m not disputing the fact that people cannot lead extremely busy lifestyles trying to make something of themselves, but using it as an excuse for always being emotionally and physically distant in a relationship is very misleading.

Everyone one in a relationship should be valued in their own right. Each party deserves love, trust, respect as well as a fair amount of attention. I mean, how can a relationship flourish with ample commitment and intimacy, if one party is always pleading off with the “this weekend is very busy for me” line?

For your information, if you haven’t seen your partner in four weekends and you live in the same city, you need to be very concerned. Behind every excuse is the real reason and the real reason is that he/she doesn’t want to make the effort or worse, someone/something else has replaced your attention slot. If your partner is okay with consistently disappointing you, that should give you an inkling into his/her priority list.

Deep down, everyone wants to find “The One”; that person that they are willing to share the world with – that special person will have all the time and attention needed because they are/will be held in high regard. For the others, the polite way to let them off is to gradually reduce the amount of time and effort made to sustain the relationship. If you notice that the time with your partner gets shorter each day, it’s time to rethink your commitment

If a person genuinely cares about you, he/she will carve out time for you in their schedule even if the person is running a multinational, million Dollar Company in space. He/she will take out time not only for the calls and messages but also for couple activities in public places.

Nobody is too busy for the person he/she truly loves.

Besides, if you have given your heart to someone and you draw strength from him/her, you will always want to check-in and meet up to recharge.

“No matter how “busy” a person is, if they really care, they will always find time for you”—Unknown

Goodluck!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Ian Allenden