Liz Awoliyi: The Case of an Over Sharer

Before I started writing this, I was thinking Liz, don’t become known for always writing self help guides or coming across as on “Adviser”.

However, on this topic of “over sharing” I think I’m qualified to speak as once upon a time I was one.

Hi, My name is Liz, I’m an ex – over sharer. Definition of an ‘Over Sharing’ –
‘Revealing an inappropriate amount of detail about one’s personal life.’

Studies have proven that Facebook encourages users to engage in self-promoting, superficial behaviours, its social-media so I guess that’s just what its there for, for you to be social. So, how does one decipher what quantifies as ‘over sharing’?

In all honesty, you can’t live your life on social media and then expect people not to comment. Far too many people are ‘doing it for the ‘gram’; everyone seems to know everything about everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with sharing. I love playing dress up and showing off my new outfit on Instagram, but there comes a time when we need to stop. Think…am I crossing the line?

I remember a time I was constantly tweeting, I was constantly tweeting everything I thought. I would cough and tweet that I coughed. I would share personal details about my life.

What I was doing was giving people ammunition to judge me with, I shared so much of my life that everyone interested in it, felt like they knew me and they could comment on the information I was sharing.

When I look back at my days of over sharing, the truth, 80% of the time it was because I was bored, I had nothing better to do. This also stemmed partly from a need of attention.

What I realise with hindsight is that I now had people around me that were living vicariously through me. They would egg me on, “Liz, you’re the Celebrity”; aren’t you going to post that on Facebook? Meanwhile they kept their lives private and continued to help me publicise mine.

And there are grave consequences of over sharing online which I know only too well.

There are many types of people on social media, but for the purpose of my article I will focus on these:
You have the ‘Narcissists’ like me, who are constantly posting selfies for no particular reason. Narcissistic people are approval seekers, their egos are fragile, and they live for comments and the likes.

Then, we have ‘The quizzers’; these people are constantly asking questions, and this allows them to start conversations.

You have the ‘business owners’. These ones are just there to promote their enterprises with some shoving it down their throats… from selling Cambodian hair, to waist trainers, to land in Lekki.

Then we have the ‘changelings’. These people will metamorphose when they come online. They adopt a new personality online and no one knows their true personality.

Then there are the ‘Lurkers’. They are the true fans.

The lurkers are interesting people to look at for this topic. The lurkers have the most opinions, but they remain in the shadows. They are monitoring spirits, you may not have even seen them in person for some years or you may not even know them. They are in tune with every update which you have kindly over shared. They are there, behind the scenes… judging you, they would never comment on Facebook or IG, but they are comfortably commenting anonymously on blogs.

The number one problem people who over-share are confronted with is that people will mis-read them. As an over sharer, people will misconstrue your point, and you are feeding them ammunition to judge you with.
On an aside, I’ll also add this. Please don’t judge people from what you see on their social media feeds. Perceptions are deceiving, often times what you are seeing is a struggle wrapped up in strength. People tend to put their best foot forward online.

I attended Genevieve Magazine’s “Financially Fearless” a couple of weeks ago, and one for the most important comments that resonated with me was from Nimi Akinkugbe. She said this “The Jonesses are broke! Stop trying to keep up with society! Determine your own lifestyle according to your own values and stick to it”.
My message is this: Be appreciative of what God has given you; don’t envy what other’s have. No matter how big or small some may consider your blessing to be. A blessing is a blessing. Stay content. Stay grateful.

Do you see yourself in any of the personality types mentioned in this article? Where do we draw the line on over sharing?