Aunty Bella: Mr. She Doesn’t Want to Pretend to Impress My Parents

Aunty Bella is our agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.

A BN reader left this message in the comments section on one of the posts published today. We decided to share it. We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.

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I stumbled on this article while looking for the Peter Bello tributes online. Maybe God sent me here.

I’m in my mid-thirties, so is my fiancée who is very beautiful, the best combination of brains and beauty, decent, good cook, strict and very very kind. She is the definition of a good person. I say this not because she is mine but because it is true. Her friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues, neighbours, everyone all tell me I’m a very lucky man.

We are both good Christians. We are however from different ethnic groups.

My folks (esp mom and her sisters) are still sore that I picked a woman ‘from outside’. Mum thinks her ethnic group has too many ‘women of easy virtues’ (even though my fiancée is easily the most decent woman I know of) amidst other complains. Well, I know mum is wrong and we have talked to the point where she has accepted my fiancée.

I met my fiancée’s family already and they are an awesome bunch.

My fiancée is meeting my family next weekend and to the reason for my confusion: ‘my darling fiancée wants to keep her leg chain on for the occasion’. She is wearing an ankara dress so the leg chain would be very obvious. My babe has told me her own mother is not too happy with her extra ear piercing nor anklet but she has come to accept it. I have explained to her why it may be a bad idea. We have argued about it and she finally told me she will think about it.

My mum already has a bad vibe about her as per ethnic group, my parents are ultra-conservative and I know my parents (mum actually, dad won’t even notice initially) would not like it. My darling fiancée thinks she should present herself as she is to my family, leg chain and all. That she doesn’t want my mother coming to our house and be shocked to see she wears an anklet.

I love this woman and would marry her even if my family disapproves and my parents know this. I have no problem with her wearing a leg chain or anklet as she calls it, lol. Dear readers, please how do I help her see this is an avoidable battle as we meet my family or am I being irrational?

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