Chiugo Akaolisa: What Makes You Lovable?

If the first thing that comes to your head is money or beauty, then you’d be surprised how bland those attributes are by themselves. Especially if that is all you have working for you.

A few months ago, my friend randomly asked me to list the attributes that make me lovable; qualities that will make potential Bae consider a long term deal (to make it interesting, Bae has to be out of your league).  A guy had asked her that and she came up empty. For the first time in a long while, I didn’t know what to say but it I was determined to figure it out. I knew some of my qualities but I wasn’t sure if it that was enough to make bae stay or if mentioning them was a form of bragging.

I struggled with it for days and finally came up with a list of my own. What made it difficult is finding qualities that separate me from the pack. Most girls can cook and every girl is pretty and smart in their own right. I needed to find something extra. To be honest, it wasn’t easy.

The truth is, it is quite uncomfortable listing your lovable qualities especially when there are hurtful people out there telling you that those amazing attributes you possess are either over-hyped or all in your head. As a result, we keep our most interesting features buried deep within while we sit and constantly nurse our flaws just to blend in.

Misery does love company.

In my opinion, it is extremely important to find out what makes you lovable as it is directly tied to your self-worth. Your positive attributes then become your bargaining chip for any new relationship. If you are not sure of what qualities of yours make a partner want to stick around, how then can you sustain his/her interest? You automatically fall at their mercy, constantly seeking approval and acceptance.

Have you ever noticed that the confident people get all the best partners? This is because they already know all their positive attribute and they are not afraid to flaunt it.

If you don’t know your worth, the next logical step is to test relationships that have potential in order to find out, or settle for relationships in which you’re treated in a way that matches your beliefs about yourself.

When it comes to romantic relationships there is one simple truth. We get exactly what we are willing to accept and settle for. If you think you are unlovable and are better off alone, you are right. If you think you can’t do any better than what you currently have, you are absolutely right. And if you think you deserve to be treated like a gem because of your long list of amazing qualities, you are also totally right – and you will be.

You need to know what makes you a catch and improve on it as often as possible. If you cannot find anything that interesting, then create one. Read more, take up unique interests, develop your talents, get in the best shape possible, learn a language…there is no limit.

The self-knowledge gained by knowing your lovable qualities can help you understand not just who you are, but what you deserve. This can help you avoid the problem of low self-esteem in relationships.

I have a way of making people open up to me. What makes you lovable? Give it a good thought.

Goodluck!

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Giuliofornasar