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Ari: To Abort or Not

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Abortion, D&C… whatever you call it is the removal of a foetus from the uterus. This can be due to a number of reasons, but it’s usually because the mother does not want the baby. I think almost everyone knows someone who has had an abortion. Abortion is a crime in Nigeria, but yet the number of people that have this procedure done by quacks, medical doctors or gynaecologists is staggering.

There is the Pro-life and Pro-choice argument. See, I believe in both. A woman should be able to get an abortion in certain circumstances. The main categories for this stance are when the health of mother or foetus is in danger and pregnancy resulting from rape.

I do not approve of abortion being a form of birth control. Pregnancy is a consequence of sex. (The number of people that have unprotected sex is staggering, with friends strangers etc. People whose sexual history and health you know nothing about, but that’s a story for another day). Why not use a combination of contraceptives before sex? (please Postinor is not a contraceptive). I have always had this stance but in recent times, I’ve heard of ladies being in circumstances that have had me wondering if I’m a hypocrite.

I’ve summarized a couple of these stories below:

  • Fiona thought Steve was ‘The One’. She had no issues with having unprotected sex, he also didn’t seem to mind. She felt a pregnancy would only hasten what was already meant to be. She got pregnant, Folarin asked her “For whom? What do you want to do about it?” He broke up with her after that. Fiona couldn’t bear the thought of being an “after one”; she would rather die than tell her parents she was pregnant without a boyfriend/fiance, so she got an abortion.
  • Salma had four kids, all under the age of ten. The fourth kid was unplanned as she had an IUD in place, but belonged among that small percentage of women whose IUDs fail. She decided on a tubal ligation. Well, as luck would have it, she also belonged to the smaller percentage of women who get pregnant after a tubal ligation. Salma couldn’t bear the thought of having a fifth child; the energy, sleepless nights, financial implication as well as other reasons. She and her husband agreed an abortion was the best decision.
  • Deola and Timi dated for 3 years. He was such a darling, heaven sent. Everyone loved him. A couple of months after they got married, Timi started having mood swings. This escalated to severe beatings. She lost a tooth during one of such episodes. Turns out he had some sort of mental disorder and had stopped taking his medication. She was distraught as he never mentioned anything about the illness or seeing a psychiatrist. All efforts by her, his parents and his doctor to get him to take his medication fell on deaf ears. He was admitted to the hospital but eventually discharged as he was cognizant enough and intentionally refused to attend any sessions with his doctor and also refused to take his medication. She decided to divorce him but found out she was pregnant. Better to be divorced without a baby to show for it than to have two different tags attached to her.
  • Emilia was a second year student on scholarship in a Christian University. She was a very brilliant student. She got pregnant during the holidays before the second semester commenced. If the University staff found out about her pregnancy, it would mean forfeiting her scholarship as well as expulsion. Her parents were poor; they could barely afford to give her pocket money. She didn’t even tell her boyfriend about the pregnancy; she got an abortion.

Of all the stories above, the only scenario I was sure would make me consider abortion was the one about Salma.

Considering the above scenarios, what would you do? Have you ever had an abortion or know someone who had one? Why was an abortion necessary? In hindsight, would you still have gotten an abortion?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Sam74100

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I’m Ari. A thirty-something wife, mother and civil engineer. I have a B.Sc & M.Sc degree in Civil & Environmental Engineering. I’m a know-it-all; ask me anything and I’ll have an answer for you. I would love to learn how to code, swim and improve on my writing.

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