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Our Monday Morning Superstar! BellaNaija Reader Toba Aboyeji is Celebrating Atoke’s Birthday in the Sweetest Way
Happy birthday Atoke!!
When BellaNaija writer Atoke announced that she’d be dropping the “pen” for her weekly Atoke Monday Morning Banter quite a number of hearts were broken.
Celebrating her birthday today, we received a very sweet article from one of her ardent readers and fan.
Written by Toba Aboyeji, the article shares a personal glimpse into the life of Atoke and shows just how impactful her weekly column has been in the past 3 years.
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Amazing, independent, fun, committed, enigmatic and deep; these words best describe one of the most incredible gifts God fashioned for the world on a day like this. As I write this, I am trying to caption the concept; call it an ode, a tribute, an open letter or even as one of my friends succinctly put it, “famzing”….all I know is that you deserve to have a place in the Hall of Fame.
I am definitely struggling to find the right adjective that aptly captures the over one hundred shades of emotions that engulfed my mortal and innermost being as I read your farewell article on Monday Morning Banter last week. You just eliminated one of my Monday rituals without consulting the gods, all in the name of moving forward??? My first thought was “Chaii…How dare you?” but as I read through, my indignation quickly turned to happiness for you as it became clear that this would be one of those curves you have always negotiated on your path to greatness.
As I scrolled down and read the comments, the love and emotion from the AMMB movement was almost palpable, my levator anguli oris did not have a choice but to co-operate with other muscles on my face to break into successive marathon of smiles that warmed my heart. (I guess we will understand why at the end of this). One of the comments that stood out for me was the call for a send-forth party for you because you definitely deserve to have one.
When I was coming back from church on Sunday, I was going through a mental list of upcoming birthdays for the week and I remembered that it is your day today, so I decided to do my own send-forth by celebrating you with my rookie writing skills that I have always promised you that I will develop someday.
Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we? (I promise not to tell any embarrassing stories…not!) October 7,1995 I had just resumed my Senior Secondary School at the urbane school where you attended. The bulk of the students were from above average and wealthy homes, needless to say the “forming” associated with “my papa get money pass your papa’’ was prevalent. This particular day was the Founders Day; it was a day we all looked forward to. In a way, it was a mini-Christmas day; it was a day to flaunt your brand new clothes, ‘puncture your innocence’, explore your juvenile instincts and party till mama calls. Amidst the pomp and pageantry that occasioned the day, I caught a glimpse of you; you stood out in a special way with your low haircut (remember… hahaha) there was a lot that was refreshing about your demeanour…some sort of “elegant shyness”
I soon realized you were the youngest in my set, (Hahaha, see me feeling like an ancient of days) and you rolled with only one friend (you know who). You were in ‘A’ class, the preferred science class for the brightest students, where the head boy and the head girl always emerged from; and I was in D class, the dumping ground for repeaters and transferred students in the Arts and Social Sciences like me. In the parlance of our real world, we possibly belonged to different social classes… well I guess.
You can then imagine my pleasant surprise when you opted to leave your highly dignified A class to our highly degraded D class after a year (Talk about one of the curves synonymous with your exit from the Monday Morning Banter to face life head-on). That was good news for me sha as I finally struck that friendship from our angle ninety back bench team (Bode, Iyabo and the rest of us)
I soon got to know you and realised that even though you held your cards close to your chest and had a mind of your own, you were straightforward, candid, honest; an enigmatic open book.
One episode I can never forget now is the day I said something that made you cry, (okay, one embarrassing story). Funny enough, I cannot remember exactly what I said, but I remember I was not sorry at that moment because I didn’t think I had hurt you. I remember speaking with Seun (Basin road alumni), later that night and she made me realize why you may have cried. I felt so bad afterwards and decided from then on, to hold you in a special place in my heart till date and beyond. In my defence, I was just a proud and immature teenager at the time, that was why I never said I was sorry, but now that I have journeyed the mountains, the valleys and the seas from “boys 2 men”, let me be the gentleman and formally say that I am sorry for whatever it was then.
Casting a retrospective glance, I can go on and on to articulate good memories in knowing you – how you always called the NITEL land line to wish me happy birthday. The day you mentioned your brother’s passing to me, the mix of pain and faith you resonated over the phone. Our series of intellectually stimulating chats in the early days of BBM and hey, you know I am still more than grateful for the first set of kitchen items you donated to my new bachelor apartment when I was just moving in.
I remember in the early days of Monday Banter; you used to forward the link to your BBM contacts. On one of those days, you had written an all-time hit on BellaNaija on your man crush, “Banky doubliyou”. {Click here if you missed it} I had forwarded this to my contact list, and a friend who had seen the article earlier in the day decided to talk about it. As our conversation progressed, she claimed I was ‘’famzing’’ that I know you. It was just then that the reality dawned on me; your sacrifice was paying off, you were gradually on your way to becoming all that you were born to be, you were going to be a celebrity writer.
Back to the comments on your farewell post, I reflect on the chronicles of your career pursuit (as best known to me) viz -a -viz the ovation from your audience. My take is simple, YOU DESERVE THE MOMENT. Yours is an epic story of a fierce night struggle that broke into a morning dance at dawn. In the kind of society that brought us up with so many parents that favoured their agenda over their children’s talents, gifts, abilities, skills and interest, only very few people had the audacity to follow your path and dare to live their dream. Having realized that you were not cut out for the sciences, you took that leap of faith and switched to the arts. I particularly remember how you had to opt for a later start compared to ALL your secondary school classmates at the University to study Law, and finally switching from Law to become a Writer.
You confronted the odds, you were true to yourself and today you have built up on the dividends of a deliberate pursuit of your purpose in line with your essence. May I please re-echo my thoughts on your farewell to the Morning Banter……….. Thank you for using your talent to positively affect your circle of influence, thank you for making our Monday reading worth it, thank you for making us laugh, thank you for stimulating our intellect, and I speak from my heart when I say thank you for inspiring me and making me believe.
Why the long write up? Your life has taught me two succinct life lessons:
- Do NOT be afraid to confront to all barriers in the pursuit of your purpose (In Paula White’s voice “you will not conquer what you cannot confront’’)
- Do NOT be afraid to bow out and move on, especially when the ovation is the loudest
So as I navigate the through the realities of this cosmos, I hold on to these lessons as I deal with my most ferocious monste…FEAR
A Sage once said to me that, the older you grow, the narrower your circle of friends become; but remember that there are some beautiful ones you should hold dear to your heart no matter what. I absolutely agree that there will always be those special friends that remain close to your heart regardless of the distance.
The few you can always start from where you stopped even if you haven’t spoken them in years.
Those outstanding people whose struggle and victories in life spur you on to bigger things.
The rare breeds that make your heart glow with fond thoughts.
The distinguished class of people you call extraordinary, exceptional, and great.
Such is my friend and sister A-T-O-K-E. You are indeed a quintessence of the fine balance between the cosmopolitan chic with a conservative twist.
A special gift of God to this world.
An epitome of cerebral innocence.
An embodiment of depth.
A most beautiful soul in and out.
A rare gem, a jolly good darling, a free and fun spirit.
God knew I would need one of such friends as you and He made our paths cross.
This is one of the reasons I choose to celebrate you today. Now, it is time to stand up for the Champion!
Happy Birthday Girlfriend!
