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Aunty Bella: Miss. I’m Not Ready, He’s Not Ready…but He is Now Betrothed

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Aunty Bella,

I met him sometime in December’14 few days to the completion of my Industrial attachment, we got close and before you say Jack it became official. He was there for me during my trying period when dad was really sick, he would come to the hospital every evening after work to spend time with me.

The new year came, I was off back to school to face the last lap just then the blow of dad’s death hit me. It was really bad but I couldn’t ‎find the one I love to even console/comfort me not even with words not to talk of being present at the whole burial ceremony.

Meanwhile, I am in my twenties and had to face reality with everything around. I was really angry at him couldn’t bring myself to forgive him. We had countless issues most ended in insults and all sorts plus I being a core choleric never made it any easier but we tried to be good.

Fast forward to November, I got back and we met, straightened up everything but here’s the issue, he started ringing the whole marriage bell in my ears I tried countless times to explain and convince him that am not ready (cos I feel I haven’t even discovered myself and I have a few things I intend doing before marriage he says why will a girl who’s through with school refuse marriage) in as much as I know he isn’t ready but due to pressure from his parents being the first born and his clique of friends (they say dey must marry in 2016,hmmmm).

Like play like play, he gave me one week to think about it so I could meet his parents cos they intend going to the villa to get him a wife. I laughed thinking it was a joke. Just then after I gave him myself for the first time, it all happened and they found him a bride.

He opened up to me to still have a rethink so he could stop the process cos both parents have commenced plans. I am so confused… do they still marry brides for people?

The girl in question is well educated, a boss of her own and has a bf yet she’s being forced by her parents? Am I being selfish and over ambitious cos I really do love him? I feel hurt but deep down I feel am doing the right thing cos I know marriage is not a child’s play.

Please help am confused.

Thanks.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Bryan Creely

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