Aunty Bella: Miss. Boyfriend with Many Unpaid Loans

Hello People…Serious question here,

So I have been dating this guy for a while. He borrowed about N400,000 from me a year ago for something trivial that I was not on board with, but I still gave him the money regardless. Back then, he had just finished school (27 years old) and was looking for a job.

Once he got the job later in the year, he did not pay me back, and started investing his money in a business him and his brother were running. In his mind, I think the idea was that he would make enough from the business to pay me back and do much more for me. The business started going south and once again he came to me for money, about N300,000 to help him out….which I did….I also found out later on that he had also borrowed about N300,000 from other friends, which he is yet to pay back because the business isn’t going anywhere.

I thought him not attempting to return the first round of money to me was a sign of poor integrity. Even if I may not have collected it, I want my man to be respectable enough to return money when he borrows it. I felt taken for granted.

So, are these major red flags? Should I take him seriously as a future spouse? He is perfect in every other way, but just seems to be also perfect at squandering the little he makes and then other people’s money as well. He is kind, generous, friendly, courteous, God fearing and so much more, but his poor financial decision making skills threaten his ability to provide for a family. And I really don’t think I will function well as a wife if I have to do all the heavy lifting.

My main dilemma is do I risk going to the altar with him? Will he change? Aren’t we all imperfect? Shouldn’t we give people second chances? Or am I deceiving myself? Is it wishful thinking?

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