Onyinye O: Teddy Bear, Boxers, Socks? Not this Valentines, Honey!

So Valentine’s Day is just days away and I’m sure everyone reading this post falls into one of these categories:

Category A: Those that would give out gifts

Category B: Those that would receive gifts

Category C: Those that would just cheer people on

Ohhh, one last category

Category D: Those that don’t care at all, or maybe, pretend not to care.

Whatever category you fall into, I’m sure there’ll be something for you to take out of this, so just errr, get a bowl of popcorn (groundnut would serve as a good substitute) and read on, whilst indulging. I’ll attempt to be brief.

So for my Category A people, I would say: Keep it “personal”. I think that kinda always works, doesn’t it?  So if you are going to get Bae a gift, you sure do not want to get her the same things again: a teddy bear, box of chocolates, flowers or jewellery. Think outside the box – what has she hinted at recently? (Well, if it’s an engagement ring, be sure you want to give that gift). And if she hasn’t hinted at anything in recent times, it just might be her way of testing “how well you know her”. You need to get it right. Look for things that reflect that you thought of her before getting that gift. So instead of giving her just any jewellery set (if she’s a jewellery person like I am), go the extra mile- get her jewellery that’s customized. It just could be a necklace with her name spelt out, or maybe, a piece of jewellery that carries significance based on what’s inscribed on it. Pandora could help you out with that.

So yeah, that’s for the guys. Now ladies, I’m sorry I might be calling out some of you; but singlets and boxers, a random belt, socks or a packet of handkerchiefs? Not this time. You know, there’s a lot of talk about what guys like and do not like, how they aren’t gift people and do not care that much, bla bla bla, but hey, they are humans just like us. They may not be outrightly crazy about certain things but they really care and think of it once in a while.

Again, I’ll say it really is about the thought. So what can you do? Get personal. Let’s say you want to get a perfume, get it not because you know it’s a designer one but because of the name of the perfume and attach a note to it. So for example, you get Paco Rabanne’s “1 Million”, you can attach a little note that relates to how you both relate with each other saying something like “each time you use this, remember that you’re my 1 in a million”. Alternatively, you can decide to give something you know he either wants or needs (knowing that a want is different from a need). Unlike us girls, most guys don’t go about dropping hints for gifts et. al, but somehow, you would notice or they’ll blurt out stuff so be sensitive. Make his wish come true and be happy.

I so wish I could dwell more on category A but I have still have 2 more categories? Ohhh, 3.

So for you Category B folks, first, be grateful. Now I know some people might fall into multiple categories. So you might give and receive only to realise that you spent triple the amount on the gift you gave out and you are receiving something you can’t even give people the gist about, well, still be thankful. Some people wouldn’t receive anything you know. Others don’t have as much money to purchase stuff. Quick one: If you are going to give anyway, just cut your coat according to your size pocket. That way, you don’t feel like you’ve had to break the bank to get something really nice only for it to not be reciprocated. It’s also possible you might get a gift you don’t like, again, I’d say be thankful. I’ll also suggest  you hint at it later on or as time passes and not pretend you’re in love with it. If not, be ready to keep getting more of it.

Next off, my Category C people- that’s my group. You might not be expecting anything and you know you’re just a cheer leader, giving tips to the friends. Now, because you aren’t getting expecting anything does not mean you should give the wrong tips because it isn’t going to be yours anyway. That’s jealousy. Moreso, don’t give tips as to what you would like, i.e, living your dream through another person’s eyes. So, telling your friend’s boyfriend to get her a particular shoe because you’ve been eyeing it and you know you’ll be able to borrow and rock it all the way is just brutal. You know she really does not love the shoe na. Or you tell your friend’s wife to get him a particular belt or wristwatch in a particular colour knowing that the belt would be too small for his waist or he doesn’t fancy a leather wristwatch. Isn’t that wickedness?

Last category, the peeps in Category D – which I fall into again. Valentine is just another day jor. A good Sunday to rest, go to church, cook soups for the week, et. al. Nothing more.
Now, that category rocks and I feel like somehow, everyone should love to fall in here. Ehen. Please before you start insulting me, I’ll give you my reason:

I don’t think you need to wait till its Valentine’s day to show love. Nah! How can you save all your plenty money to just wait and get one big gift on Valentine’s Day? Inasmuch as there isn’t anything wrong with that, I’ll say, showing love on random days, or getting a gift for your partner or someone you care about on a random day always does the trick. That way, the person does not feel like, “ohh, yeah, I’m getting this just because it’s valentine”.

And yes, gifts do not necessarily need to be tangible- things you can hold physically; sometimes, the best gifts end up being experiences which become memories- memories you forever hold dear.

Valentine actions should be carried out on any other random day.

Few suggestions: guys, say your wife just gave birth, you can get her a nice lingerie set and make her know her body is still great to you. For the ladies, a nice pen with a note like “pen down your goals”, or purchasing that video game (knowing you both would end up playing it) might do the magic or maybe a nice headset. For experiences, you could go to a place that holds good old time memories. You could also choose to have fun and let loose. Maybe karaoke?

Sadly, I have to end this here because I’m watching my word count but before I drop my pen, let me ask, what category do you belong to? And sorry, I couldn’t give a long list of options so please, share other options below.

Happy Valentine’s Day in advance Bellanaijarians. This is me showing some love and on a random day.
Xoxo.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime