Callilope: Colleague, Not Friend! Don’t Eat My Lunch & Don’t Sell Me Aso-Ebi

A friend called me recently to tell me a former colleague of mine was getting married and asked if I was interested in buying Asoebi. My response was NO. At the risk of sounding harsh, please see below my reasons for saying no:

1) No more unnecessary spending and buying Asoebi, I need to save.

2) I really do not like weddings.

3) I really don’t care for the ex-colleague so my presence isn’t really imperative.

Out of all the reasons listed above, I feel number 3 is the most valid and this led to my realizing that there is a difference between someone who is your colleague and someone who is your friend.

I’m of the opinion that working with people doesn’t necessary make us friends; we are colleagues, maybe acquaintances but definitely not friends. I often come off as odd anytime refuse to give out personal information or share my BBM Pin and social media handles with people I work with.

It’s not pride; it’s just work and I like to leave work as work. It’s not like I haven’t made friends from the office environment since I’ve worked in a few, I just don’t feel I should be friends with the whole office to prove that I am sociable.

I consider my friend to be someone I know on a personal level, someone that I can have conversations with, and can confide in. A colleague is just a person I work with. We may have friendly conversations, and almost even talk about personal stuff but I would never confide in a colleague.

In today’s office environment, I don’t even think friendship should be encouraged. The office is highly competitive; you having friends might just make you relaxed and make you take your eyes off the prize, while your so-called office friend has his/her eyes set firmly on it.

It could also lead to the emergence of office cliques – taking you back to your secondary school days, which, at this stage of life, is highly unnecessary.

Having an office friend and confiding in one might lead to some form of backstabbing. What is said in confidence can be used against you especially when you are not there to defend yourself.

Also this point, I may sound petty, but it drives me nuts when my colleagues who feel because we work in the same office gives them the right to eat my food. Just because we share a fridge doesn’t give you the right to use my own food as an appetizer to yours. That privilege is reserved for true friends only.

Meanwhile, one upside of having friends at the office is you have a good support system especially when they are the only ones you can talk to about office politics and would understand because they are also in the system.

So before you start having office friends, think again about the pros and cons. Because at the end of the day, it’s still an office. The so-called friend isn’t family. So if push comes to shove and someone is to get the boot, your ‘office friend’ would probably not save you.

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