Life Hacks With Toby: 6 Crucial Things Nobody Tells You About Online Dating

I think I was in SS3 when I saw my first online dating site. Those were the days we used to sneak out of school to go for all night browsing. I think one of the ladies that came for night browsing was chatting with her oyibo boyfriend there.

Trust me and my curious mind naa, I had to explore what it was all about. Somehow I never really got into it until sometime in 2012.

I had just completed my NYSC. I was young, jobless, and bored. I had a little ‘Daddy-thank-sir’ pocket money which I was using for my job-hunt. Of course this meant spending a lot of time in one of the cyber cafés beside my uncle’s house in Aguda.

One of those days, I jejely came to browse with my church mind o. I had a couple of applications to write and submit, and I was seriously hoping that I would land a job that month. You see, it was October, my birth month. And I needed a job desperately.

Back then, my black suit had almost turned brown. I pity the suit. Na em I dey wear almost every day jumping from Danfo to Molue. As of then I don waka enter almost all the tall buildings wey dey Marina, and the ones on Adeola Odeku Street in VI, submitting CVs. I waka sotey my shoe soles come get curve by the side. Chai, job hunting in Nigeria no be beans o.

Well, one of those days, I went to browse as usual. I noticed one fine girl who was chatting and even doing internet calls on a PC there. I took a closer look and saw that it was an online dating site.

My mind did a quick spin. As of then, I had no girlfriend, nor fiancé, not even a ‘toastee’. The last babe I wanted to go out with decided I resembled her brother. “Toby I love you, but as a brother”.

NB: Friend zone get levels o. If she is still seeing you as a ‘friend’, you have 20% hope. But if the thing has graduated to ‘brotherhood’ eh, omoh even in your next world, hope no dey o.

Thunder fire Friend Zone, wallahi!

Anyway, I reasoned that it won’t be a bad idea to try out online dating. At least even if the career section of my life no dey work, make the relationship side dey work.

For a start, I registered with flirt. Unfortunately for me, I forgot my password and I didn’t bother to get it back. But unlike me, many people have had beautiful relationships originate from these sites. In fact, statistics state that one-third of married couples in U.S met online.

So do online dating sites work? Yes they do.

But before you rush in and sign up take note of the helpful tips below. Most people won’t tell you about these stuff, but omoh, you need to know (to avoid stories that touch…)

So many profiles there are fake
Forget that wonderful profile of being a medical doctor, driving a range rover jeep, with an M.Sc in Harvard, and earning #2.5 million a month.

Or what about all that sexiness? The broad shoulders, close-up toothpaste-like smile, the hairy chest and sexy smile? Or what about the steamy hot pictures that the ladies put up?

Many people there are real o, but you need to know that some people use fake profiles too. So be careful before you ‘fall in love’.

Too many inactive Profiles
Normally, you would want to join a dating site with lots of members as it increases your chances of finding or getting found by Miss/Mr Right. Abi? Well, don’t get too disappointed, many of those profiles have not been active for years.

I mean, I remember registering with badoo just before the end of 2012 too. But I never visited it more than thrice. So even if my profile is there, I am not there. Get the picture?

Not everybody there is a saint
I know say na your church mind you carry come o, but biko be careful. It is not something to be scared of really. I mean, there are bad people everywhere. Some people come there to find love, while some came to get laid cheaply.

So before you start trusting and introducing your new ‘bae’ to us, make sure you have the right person. Most importantly, don’t be too quick to give out personal information.

The person you finally get to meet may be different from the one you met online
What I mean here is the fact that most people who go to online dating sites put up their best part and hide their flaws. It is normal.

For instance, you could be chatting with someone without really knowing that they stutter. Or maybe she is hot tempered, or he has shortsightedness. Somehow these details usually don’t come up while you are speaking online. So don’t raise your hopes too high until you finally get to meet.

Online dating can alter your idea of intimacy
If you speak with someone online for a while, soon it starts to feel like you have really ‘known’ each other for long. This is not really something bad, except that it tends to create a false sense of familiarity. This alone can make you have sex with someone even if you decided not to, or even clear your bank account for same.

Race still matters to many people
Most people will tell you that when it comes to matters of the heart, tribe, race, or ethnicity doesn’t count. I laugh in Japanese.

Truth is that tribe still matters to many people. Lots of people still have reservations and lots of bias about people from other tribes.

Is it right? Obviously not. But before you start trusting, make sure your ‘boo/bae’ doesn’t have a problem with your race/tribe.

Your Turn
Have you tried online dating before? Did it work out for you? Or even if yours wasn’t an online dating site, have you started a relationship through Facebook? Did it work out? Are there any other tips we should all be mindful of?

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