Gidi in Heels with ‘Layemi: The ‘How Much Did You Buy it?’ Question & Other Conversational Faux Pas

Have you ever had one of those epic moments when you walk into a room feeling like a million bucks? Everything is on fleek…your dress fits like a glove, your make-up is flawless and even your pout is a perfect pink.

You are utterly convinced about how awesome you are and as you mingle with people, you try not to make the chip on your shoulder visible…and then it happens. Somebody puts their foot in their mouth and says something to you that makes you feel like Cinderella felt when the clock struck midnight. The “carriage” you rode up in now feels like a “pumpkin” and you are almost compelled to turn your six inch heels (which are thankfully not made of glass) into a weapon to defend your honour.

It is amazing how some people really do not know that some questions are simply impolite and embarrassing and should not be considered as icebreakers, silent moment fillers or even jokes in public places. As my contribution to ensuring the art of decent conversation is preserved, here are five questions I consider as major conversational faux pas.

These are questions you should never ask a lady in public/in front of strangers and some of the comebacks that I think are just perfect for these questions:

How much did you buy it?
Really??? If someone is wearing a dress, weave or a pair of shoes you admire; it is perfectly okay to just compliment the person and move on. The only circumstance under which you should ask how much someone’s outfit cost is if the person is more than a mere acquaintance and if the person is comfortable enough to divulge this information to everyone within earshot.

Question: How much did you buy it?

Perfect Comeback: Would you like to give me refund if I tell? 

Have you gained weight?
There are two statistics women do not like to give out unless it is their doctor asking: their age and their weight! Asking a lady about her weight (whether she has gained or lost some) is not an icebreaker. It is very unnecessary to ask this question, except the conversation was already centered on weight management and the person voluntarily offers this information.

Question: Have you gained weight?

Perfect Comeback: Wow! I had absolutely no idea I had gained weight, you are so observant/smart! *insert eye rolling smiley*.

Is that a wig/ Is this your hair?
So we are currently witnessing the natural hair movement and a lot of women are now confidently rocking their natural hair. However, it is not completely strange for members of team natural to own a wig or two that they wear when going for weddings or other similar events. Having said that, if you suspect that a lady is wearing a wig/weave and would like to confirm this, you can ask with a quiet whisper. It is not polite or nice to ask a woman if she is wearing a wig/weave from across the table! Please!

Question: Is this your hair?

Perfect Comeback: Are you looking for your own?

Are you wearing Body Magic?
Please we are all on the FitFam high and yes we occasionally need the support of the waist trainers/body magic to give us the perfect look for the red carpet moments and Instagram posts.

Nobody has been assigned the role of waist trainer police by the Federal Government to fish-out all waist trainer ‘offenders’.

It is extremely impolite for anyone to ask a lady if she is wearing a waist trainer/body magic in front of strangers. It is also not fair to pass the “she is wearing body magic” sentence on an innocent lady passing by. If a lady looks nice then compliment her, if you feel she doesn’t then please just look away!

Question: Are you wearing body magic?

Perfect Comeback: Of course not! My body itself is magic.

When are you calling us?
This is the Nigerian version of the “When are you getting married”

A lot people consider the wedding/marriage/relationship subject as an icebreaker when they don’t have much to talk about. However, it is very awkward to ask a lady when she is getting married!

If there is no ring on her middle finger, please stay off the marriage topic! It is not an icebreaker and it is not a conversation for social gatherings.

Question: When are you calling us?

Perfect Comeback: Oh, I already sent out the invites. Thank you for asking.

Please these questions are not icebreakers and they are not topics that can be used to fill the awkward silence at social gatherings!

What are the conversational faux pas that get to you the most? Please share them with us.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime