Jasmine Howson-Wright: Reality Check

What is your most important accomplishment in life?
Your answer will be a jury to pass the verdict onyour person. It will be no one’s opinion on whether or not you are indeed a good, bad, biased, selfish, determined, purposeful or loving individual. It will be the realest and most accurate judgment on your values, so you might need to take a pause on that really important assignment, duty, activity, to think about this. We all need a reality check to this thing called LIFE every once in a while.

As a young child growing up, I said by default when asked, that I wanted to own an orphanage. It was like my mind was programmed to this. I knew I had to contribute to life somehow; wouldn’t I be wicked or just not ‘Christianly’ if otherwise? (As in my case, my religious status permitted the thought).
I knew what orphanages were and engaged in; like the ‘A’ of alphabets in examples of philanthropic activities. EVERYBODY knows an orphanage. Yes, but fast-forward to 2016 and I not only have no building structure in place for my orphanage, I also have put nothing forward resource wise, to accomplish that.

What happened then? I set out to do a great thing in life, didn’t I? Of course I did! But that was not the problem; the problem was that I couldn’t lie to who I truly am.

I don’t want to own an orphanage; but, what I want to do (even though seemingly smaller in comparison to that) is really to impact the world around me (or at least my most desired way of achieving that.) I want to build confidence. I want to be among the global team of generation changers, giving hope to those who want to speak, but are not sure how, or sure they have the voice to and with the tinniest attention given to their marred courage.

It’s evident that they have so much within to change their world. I want to be financially efficient; a deliberately thought out and chosen phrase – because I want to be continuously active in providing for others around me. The truth is, I didn’t and don’t need to have a building called ‘orphanage’ to give hope and place smiles on the faces of people. People with the true desire to do that are doing it amazingly, and their purpose and action gives us the hope needed to push for ours. Thus, giving another hope to push for what they want to achieve (I call it the ripple effect).

See, it is quite easy to say – I want to help the society, I would love to own an orphanage, to create industries that provide jobs for millions, be the life-wire for people who lost their spark in their journey in life, put food on the tables of families. To want to be the first individual to graduate in the family, the first lady to accomplish a feat not generally associated with the female gender, the first to invent something unique.
I mean, they say: “think it, dream it, believe it and you can accomplish it“, right? It is that easy, so easy to say something that everyone would love to hear, applaud, to give your mind a vote of confidence, to play the role of superman or the saviour of mankind in your mind; but you know what’s not easy? To lie to yourself and to act!

That is why reality checks are more than necessary because, unlike dreams and vague speeches, that is one thing that is clear – your own reality. Not Bimpe’s, Shayo’s…not your Pastor’s or Imam’s, your president, wife, kids, father, mother, or village clan…just yours and yours alone. They point out your deception and indolence.

I recently lost someone so dear to me and it broke me. In my closure, I found peace and while discussing with my sister sometime after, she made a statement that got me thinking – “But this is where it ends Foluke. After the stress, work, work, work, and then at the end we all need God knowing full well that after all this we know we are going to rest” and what came to my mind next was, “and then what did I leave behind, what would I have accomplished here to put a smile on my face while I go to rest?”

There is no science to be solved here. I write this to say that it does not matter what you hope you accomplished in life is tagged; but it will matter what it translates to.

A personal goal will be nothing but dust and name if it is in no way communicated to another life positively. Be a star, be the best, build empires, (heck!) be emotional about life and do nothing.

I write this to urge you to be honest. You will never be able to lie to yourself, convince yourself otherwise of whom you really are. Set a trail that’s true to you and it will lead to a promise others can follow or be inspired by.

I write this to challenge you to embrace the hard truths of life, the reality checks of your life; death, embarrassment, pain, and whatever aims to put you in a hopeless position, as an august tool, to redirect you on the course of your life that you always should maintain.

I write this for me and I write this for you.

Again I ask, with hopeful assumption that a minute reassessment of your life occurred somewhere in between these lines and paragraphs.
“What will be your most important accomplishment in life before the opportunities are no more and all that’s left is hope for eternal rest?”

Photo Credit: The Fab – Fab Atelier @fabulousbanji on Instagram