“You see a confident woman become a shadow of herself when she has been cheated on” – Toke Makinwa

Toke Makinwa is on the cover of Glam Africa Magazine’s latest issue.

On the cover the media personality embraces a goth look with black lipstick and a top bun. In the magazine she talks about different matters of the heart including giving someone that has cheated a second chance, a married man having a female best friend and more.

She also talks about the success of her vlogs and where she sees herself in the next 5 years.

See excerpts below.

On second chances for someone who cheats: Matters of the heart are tough, incredibly tough. Cheating is bad; it is a cancer that eats you up; it destroys everything. You see a confident woman become a shadow of herself when she has been cheated on. It is one of the most painful things, ever and though some people make it work, it definitely cannot be the same again. It is like a broken mirror, the cracks will always be there but in time, the scar can become beautiful and a place only of reference, not a destination. People can come back from it. If both parties are willing and if the cheat understands what his or her actions cost their partner. And of course, with the grace of God, watching another person suffer for the choice you selfishly made is so heart breaking – that is what cheating does. People grow up, people change [and] everyone deserves a second chance as we ask God for forgiveness daily, but it may not be with each other. Sometimes the brokenness is irreparable and you can forgive someone without being in their lives

On married men having a female best friend: People say it is possible but I use myself as an example. I have never had a male friend who didn’t fancy me at some point. In as much as I would love to say guys and girls can just be friends, I don’t believe in it. It starts from someone wanting more and maybe in the process they then build a friendship that is more important to both parties; they choose to develop that. I feel that we are wired differently and I am of the opinion that your partner should be your best friend. God made Adam for Eve, and not Eva, Evelyn and Everett…The moment your partner gets comfortable having a best friend that is not you, it is just leaving room for an unnecessary story. Don’t get me wrong, he is allowed to have female acquaintances and people he is friendly with, but I don’t believe his best friend should be another female. If she’s your best friend, what am I?

On being in love without physical attraction: I have come to understand that love is beyond what we think it is. In our generation, what we define love to be can come across as superficial and, in most cases, unrealistic. Love is friendship that grows. It takes a lot of work to love someone, even when they’re at their lowest; it’s not for the faint-hearted. Love is a conscious thought; it is constantly forgiving and looking beyond flaws. So yes, I believe that attraction is fleeting and it is possible to love someone that you don’t desire physically. But as time passes, love grows. A lot of our parent’s marriages were arranged. In the past that happened a lot but they somehow made it work. It is a selfless act only for people who know that it’s not all a walk in the park. Life happens. You might fall for someone for their physical attributes, but then what happens if there is an accident? If they don’t look the same? If they stop being attractive? Do you then move on? Attraction is a blessing it’s an extra topping; not what defines the cake.

On the success of her vlogs: The series was not something I took seriously at first… I didn’t realise it would be so successful. No one seems to talk about the problems they have and I wanted to be the friend in your head, to voice what you normally wouldn’t. I wanted to connect with people on a different level.

On her future in the next 5 years: I am working towards being a global brand. I want my name to have gained international status in 5 years. I am also working on my own talk show, which I pray will be huge. I want to have written a number of lifestyle books and I am working on launching my own label brands. I am laying the foundations of all of these aspirations of mine now and I can only pray towards achieving them all and more.

For more head over to glamafrica.com